Life

[Chris1983]

I don't know where to start with this. I don't like life I've struggled my whole life. I think life is nothing but pain pain and more pain. I was never good at anything in school, I cant hold down a job. I could go on but I wont. 

Life is too hard and I've been given nothing to adapt. I have a borderline IQ so I struggle with everything. I've given up stuff it all!

[Croix]

Dear Chris1983~

Welcome back to the Forum, as you may know it is a friendly place that does not expect peple to do things they can't.

I think you are being very tough on yourself, You have ADHD and do not think the same or remember like some others.  Trying to compare yourself will make you feel down - and that is not deserved. Looking for the things you enjoy or are good at can give you  whole new feeling.

You said before your had a loving wife, may I ask if you are still together? To have one even for a while shows you have nice nature, there are a lot of people that do not have nice natures -you are to be valued because you do.

You have wanted to contribute to society, that is not nearly as common as one would think and shows a you are the sort of person society needs.

Do not put yourself down by expecting to do things you dislike or have difficulty with . Talk to people until you find something that you can do and most importantly enjoy.

You may remember Mark and Tony talking to you before in your previos thread

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/holding-down-a-job/td-p/591092

Although some people may have given you a hard time there are many who are kind and good as well -Tony and Mark for example.

They gave very sensible advice, be yourself, do not listen to people that put you down, recognize like everyone else you have good in you and abilities. If those abilities do not include holding down a job that's OK , not everyone can.

Do you mind if I ask if you have something you have enjoyed in the past - even a little thing?

I would like it if you feel like coming back and talking some more

Croix

[Chris1983]

Hi, to answer your question I'm still together with my wife and we are very happy together. The previous thing I liked doing was working on vintage old computers. That is really not viable now as computers are constantly evolving and I'm trying to preserve what little brain power I have left. I try to enjoy life but just try and imagine with not holding down a job and being slow in the head plus needing extra time, people always want to know whats your name and what do you do for work. So as you can now see I don't really like people after this being a 20 year struggle. Thank you for your kind and understanding words but I do feel vulnerable and I find it hard to cope in this crazy world we all live in.

[Croix]

Dear Chris1983~

I'm very glad you are still together, a bright spot plus security in your life.

Working on old computers is not as silly as you might think. I was a volunteer in a large museum for a while and found that even though they had computerized their records from hte year dot they could not use them as the computers they had used were no longer in supply. It went everything from beta-cord and BBC to video-disk to Amstrad  and so on. 

As a result obtaining and getting old computers going was essential, then transferring the contents of their disks which used obsolete software to paper or a more modern format took a great deal of ingenuity.

You could always offer your help

Croix