Letting it out

[Nodisplaynamesleft]

So finally after reading on here for so long I am finally going to post.

I am so over getting caught out by daily triggers.

My anxiety starts to come between my partner and myself because he doesn't understand and I can't just make it all go away.

Ive seen numerous psychologists and everything they say makes sense but when the anxiety comes calling it all becomes words.

Normal day to day things for most people send cold chills through my body and my heart racing.

Ive tried grounding exercises, I've even tried pain. (Nothing over the top, just pinching myself or a finger nail digging in) Just to bring me back to present. Sometimes it works quickly sometimes only temporarily.

No one around me gets it.

I don't know how to explain to my partner how I'm feeling. He used to be empathetic and I started getting anxious less but I think he thought it would all go away. Of course it hasn't so he doesn't know how to fix me and gets frustrated and short....which of course makes me feel worse.

How do I explain to a 'black and white' man that I'm in a very 'grey' zone.

Im so lost and alone.

[Frantic1]

NDNL I feel your pain. As understanding as some peopl try to be they just don't get it until they have experienced it themselves. I too find it hard to think about all the strategies learnt through the psychologist when anxiety hits. I feel like my body has been take over by aliens and I can't control it. You are not alone in this. So many of us feel like you do

[BballJ]

Hi Nodisplaynamesleft,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Explaining anxiety to anyone is so challenging purely because you are trying to explain emotions and how you feel which never comes across quite as bad as you are feeling inside. You said you have seen numerous psychologists, are you still currently seeing one? One tip could be to get your partner to go with you to a counselling session so maybe the psychologist can explain to him how you are feeling?

Did the psychologist ever give you any coping mechanisms at all to deal when the daily triggers of anxiety come on? Did you ever feel like they got to the reason you have anxiety?

Sorry for all the questions, just trying to get a better understanding of where you are at.

Please, post back as much as you like, we are always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

[Forest_Critter]

Hi Nodi

I'm so sorry you've been having a hard time and feel alone. I definitely understand what it's like to have the people close to you not understand how you're feeling, no matter how many ways you try to explain.

I completely agree with Jay's suggestion of taking your partner to an appointment with you. Psychologists are often well-practiced in helping loved ones of those afflicted with understanding their conditions. It would definitely benefit you to have your partner be on your side and understand how to help you in those times that the exercises just become words, and your mind goes blank to all else but the rush and fear.

Although it seems hard, anxiety can be worked at. Practicing exercises when confronted with triggers is scary and uncomfortable, just like any other physical exercise. It's the frustrating truth about treatment, that it is work, and sometimes incredibly hard work.

We'd love to hear back from you, if you're comfortable sharing. You're in a place where you are not alone, and we are always on your side.

Best,

- FC

[Nodisplaynamesleft]

Hi Jay.

Nah I don't see a psychologist at the moment because I never really make any progress.

I have some coping mechanisms but they don't always work so well.

The root of all this has been identified but really that's all that can happen. Any number of ways of me or others telling me things aren't really that way and that my adult mind needs to tell my child mind I'm safe doesn't really work.

A trigger here and there seems to overall the adult mind and just reinforce what the child mind says....

Guess I just have to keep plodding on.

[Shellz__22]

NDNL

I was wondering if while you kept working on trying to get your partners understanding if you had anyone else to talk too like a close friend?

Unfortunately, some of us always carry our anxiety with us and it always gets set off at the worst times. I think sometimes it is about acknowledging it. "Yes, I have anxiety, and yes, I have bad moments. next question". I think it makes us stronger. Especially in the workforce, mental health and looking after yourself is a good thing. As long as 98% of the time you will be able to complete your tasks and you are honest eg I can clean but I get anxiety when I hear fire alarms. probably won't be an issue for hotel cleaners where one fire alarm may go off a year, probably not ideal for a cleaner at a firehouse.

I find that my bosses have been really receptive and when it does happen are happy for me to take a 10-minute break and do what I need to do to be okay.

You are strong and you have made it this far, keep going, because you are worth it.

S.

[BballJ]

Hi Nodisplaynamesleft,

My apologies about the delay in-between posts, how has the last couple of weeks been for you?

My best,

Jay