Can anxiety and depression change who you are ?

[Relay_for_life]

I have been on this road of anxiety and depression for three years now , with three relapses due to medication change or lowering the dose , the last year I was following up with a phsychtrist who is managing medication and talk therapy weekly . I am coping well , working , handling my family , dealing with some friends , depending more on my mind and positive thinking skills to manage my life situation . Proud of the skills I have learnt to deal with life . But I still miss my bubbly , very social , very caring , very outgoing , confident , fearful, popular personality ( I use to love allll people , saying yes to help all peoole, having this idealistic ideas and expectations from my self, I use to be what you call people person ) . It is like I have changed ,I am not that person anymore. I now think million time before agreeing to any commitment, I lost that spontaneous vibe in my old self . I can’t feel very excited or very happy about events , like Christmas or Easter celebration. I use to live life to the max . Now I feel I have a very neutral attitude towards everything, I do not get very sad or very happy . Is that normal ? Can anxiety and depression change you ? Do you have to get used to your new self and accept it fully ? . I am not saying I am depressed or sad . I am existing and living and coping , just wondering if I would ever be back to my old me. Thx

[blondguy]

Hello Relay

Great thread topic and thankyou too!

This is my 34th year with anxiety/depression (in that order) and my 21st year on antidepressants

It will never change who you are in any way. I also miss my vibrant years too. Your personality cant change as anxiety/depression is also a physical condition too (chemical imbalances in our brain)

No one has asked to be this way. If I may say that you are amazing to have done as well as you have with your proactive attitude towards this awful set of disorders with your counselor and the meds too

I also miss the sense of spontaneity too. You are not on you own there either.

You will be your old 'me' again again Relay.

Please be gentle with yourself in the meantime

My kind thoughts for you

Paul

[Spl spl]

Hey Relay, that's a very interesting topic which I'm sure many can relate to. I can see the differences you describe between your 'present' and 'past' selves. To answer this question 'if it is normal', yes anxiety and depression can definitely make you feel and think very neutrally. And like actions are the little siblings of thoughts, it can change what you do as well. However, I don't think this necessarily means that you have changed as a person. Being excited and spontaneous, having fun on holidays- that does not completely make up your identity. It sounds like you miss the feelings of happiness you used to feel often back then, which were possibly a big part of you. But you are still Relay! Anxiety and depression cannot change you, nor can it define you. Of course it's possible to go back to how you were in the past, although yes it will take work. You have not changed, I promise.