Job anxiety (like clockwork)

[Whysoserious]

I have adhd, depression and anxiety. I’ve always had trouble holding down a job (though not getting them) because within about three months I develop such extreme anxiety I can barely bring myself to leave the house. I’ve seen doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists but it’s always the same even if I’m doing a good job and the workplace is friendly and comfortable. I’m 37 now and the pattern is well established. If anyone has any suggestions or could share their own experiences if they’re similar I’d really love to know. Thank you.

[Lonelydan]

Hi, Whyso, I I have what you’ve mentioned also major depression ptsd. I totally understand what you’re saying. the longest I’ve held done a job was 13yrs and that was only because I Basically just stuck labels on boxes eight hours a day left to my own devices. The jobs I had before and after that didn’t last very long. The medication I take affected my skills. The best thing I could think of to do was to start my own business. Also I had absolutely no idea how to or what. I had to go to my yearly strata meeting and I told them I was having trouble with this quarters payment and they told me we need someone who can take care of the maintenance For the strata buildings they manage. So I registered a business bought a lawnmower, whippersnapper and all of that and now I’m Dan the lawnmower man. Working for myself has been wonderful plus I come home exhausted which is really helped with my insomnia. Wish I had of thought of this years ago. Dan...

[RoadToRecovery1001]

Hi Whysoserious. Reading your post is almost like looking into a mirror image of my own life. Like yourself, I often start new roles only to quit after a few months. Much to my shame and embarrassment, I've done this twice now. I always seem to follow the same pattern, I interview well, get the job, realize there is something I dislike about the job/makes me feel anxious and then I abruptly quit. I feel like I've destroyed my reputation and burned all my bridges

If I really look at my job dilemma with a fine comb , I think its the fact that I have very little self-confidence or belief in myself. I assume the worst will happen if I stay in a job, so I quit. Its absolute insanity! All I'm doing is creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. I've now quit 2 highly sought after and competitive jobs that I could have launched a successful career in.

Since quitting my most recent role, I've been toying with the idea of calling my old boss to see if I can come back in some capacity. However, I cant bring myself to do it because I'm too embarrassed and believe the chances of being able to come back are very slim.

I suppose the one sliver-lining I've found in all this is that I've had plenty of time to work on hobbies and have been self-learning statistics/data analysis and coding.

I find when I'm able to work at my own pace (which is rather slow I should add), I learn things just as well as anybody else. Yet in both these jobs that I quit, I believed that I couldn't possibly learn everything I had to in the time-frame given to me by my boss. In saying this, I never actually stay around long enough to see if this is actually the case. I quit because anxiety completely overwhelms all me. Again, this sounds crazy I know.

The best advice I can give is to maybe to adopt the "mind over matter" self-belief mantra and continue to see a mental health specialist to address your anxiety (Easier said than done I know). Personally, if I'm lucky enough to actually get another job, I know that I absolutely have to stick it out for the long haul and just push through regardless of how bad I feel. Despite trying to keep myself busy, I'm going a little crazy being at home all the time haha.