It came back!

[ellj]

5 years ago I sought help for anxiety after suffering for two years. I saw a doctor who sent me to a psychologist and also put me on medication, between the two it helped a lot!

the last few months it seems my brain is excessively worrying about something at all times. My chest feels so tight, I loose my appetite and either can't sleep or don't want to get up in the morning! I do have some really good times too, but I feel like the anxiety is coming back quicker and quicker. I feel overwhelmed because I thought I ha beat this, does it mean it's with me for life? 

 I have worst case scenario thoughts about my brother eg - he's an alcoholic because he parties on the weekends (he is also an electrician who has a good job), or worst case thoughts about my boyfriend eg- he doesn't love me (although he's just asked me to buy a house with him). Sometimes I am able to see that these don't make sense, but when I'm feeling particularly anxious I can't see the logic in anything. 

i feel like I can't speak to my mum about it because she is so worried about my brother (which is where my worry stems from), my best friend also has a lot of personal stuff happening so I don't want to bother her, and I'm afraid my boyfriend won't understand and he'll think I'm crazy and I would have ruined a perfectly good relationship.

 i don't know how to go back to seeing things clearly, without the tight chest and the stomach knots and the need for constant reassurance (ie that my brother got home safe Saturday night or that my boyfriend misses me when he is away at work). 

[White_Rose]

Dear Ellj

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. It's great that you have been able to write in here and ask for help. This is the first step and we will give you all the support we can.

Being anxious is a horrid state of affairs and one you do not need to put up with. I suggest you return to your doctor and ask for a referral to the psychologist you saw previously or to another psychologist. Anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses mess with our brains and we lose the ability to think clearly. I know this from bitter experience.

You do not need to tell your boyfriend how you feel unless you want to. The down side to this is that you lose potential support from someone who cares about you. I would think he has noticed that you worry about things, unless he is a most unobservant person. No need to tell him about your worst case scenario thoughts, although this is quite a common process that happens to all of us.

Just tell him how worried you are about your brother and have a general chat. It's not unreasonable to be concerned about family members. Despite not wanting to worry your mom further, you may find she will welcome the opportunity to talk about your brother. When you are all locked in your own room it's harder to think straight. Sharing a common problem or anxiety can be helpful to everyone. At the very least you give and gain mutual support.

Please try some professional help, at least for a short time. I am interested in how you get on so would love to hear from you again.

Mary

[white knight]

Hi,

The advice White Rose gave is spot on.

Concern and worry are very different. Concern is usually valid, worry is non productive- it doesnt produce one item of effectiveness except worsening of your mental health.

So, how do you rid yourself of worry? To leave you with just concern?

You need to acknowledge that it is curable. I licked my anxiety after 25 years- yes mine took that long. I introduced (along with meds for 12 years) some relaxation techniques learned when my anxiety got to its peak in 1987. Deep breathing will help with the tightening of your chest. Muscle relaxation technique will help you to sleep and relax your whole body (whole body!!!) combined with your doctor's guidance you will start to feel relaxed in about 4-6 months (my timeframe)

A machine without maintenance will break down. Relaxation is something many of us ignore as an important ingredient to basic living. Some people dont need it, many do.

And by the way....you cannot fix other peoples problems as well as your own. They have their own problems to deal with and being supportive and offering suggestions is enough for you to do. Anxiety, depression and the like can be life threatening so focus on your good self.

Tony WK