is this social anxiety or am i just very shy?

[dryfuneraldrum]

i was wondering if i have social anxiety? weird thing is i do a lot of public speaking and debating, but there have been a lot of recent times where ive felt really uncomfortable with social situations:

- i was on the bus and my sibling told me to ask the bus driver if the bus stopped at a specific spot but i just remember this awful, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach thinking about going up to him and asking him a question, i felt uncomfortable so i didnt ask

- i was trying to get off a bus but while the doors started closing, and a nearby transport officer really sternly told me off for it and i immediately started crying, i nodded and hurriedly walked off because i thought people were staring at me and i found a quiet spot where i could cry without having to worry about being seen and my heart was just beating so fast

- ive noticed in class at school when i speak i feel tears starting to prick at the corner of my eyes and my face gets really hot and i just get brain fog and lose my train of thought which makes me feel even more uncomfortable and i can hear the blood thumping in my head

- i get really scared when talking to strangers that im going to embarrass or humiliate myself, or make things feel really awkward, or make them think im stupid or boring

i think im comfortable with public speaking and debating because its much more structured than social settings, debating in particular im comfortable with even though its much more impromptu, i think because its very much more about ideas and arguments and rhetoric and not about *me* or trying to connect to people the same way you would in a casual conversation. also i find that im fine with expressing my thoughts and feelings online or when im messaging people, but as soon as im talking to someone face to face about those things i start crying and i get really uncomfortable.

[geoff]

Hello DFD, and welcome to the site.

The answer to your question isn't easy for someone who isn't qualified to say, which I'm not, however, shy people become more familiar with the situation they're in, while with social anxiety this doesn't happen.

People who struggle with anxiety will affect what they do and leave them not able to cope with social situations, like being on public transport or walking down the street.

It will also make it difficult to make friends and/or relationships, and it can affect your ability to get a job or the job you want as well as to stay in school.

It's easy for you to think that being shy is the same as social anxiety and if people say to you, 'don't worry, relax, it's nothing, just do it', can confuse you believing you are shy, but it could be anxiety you are facing.

Shyness can be overcome in time while social anxiety needs help and possibly medication.

Others may have a different opinion and that's great, to a layman it's not so easy to differentiate from.

Why don't you try and get some medical help, they may prove me to be wrong.

Geoff.