Off to Canada for expat experience - anxiety making me want to pull out

[andy2112]

Hi guys,

Just a little bit about myself. So over the last few years, I've had a bit of anxiety, but it has fully blown up over the last several months.

I moved to Canada for the expat experience, with my ex. Then it started to go bad...The long-term relationship exploded, calm down and exploded again, before ending; I travelled to Russia for the WC, but got sick beforehand so pretty much melted down before the trip, so had to force myself to go. I came back home to find out that I have stomach issues, which will change my lifestyle again.

Now, planning to return to Canada to finish off my expat experience there, but as the days are getting closer, the anxiety is kicking in. It waves between excitement and pure dread. I know if I do it, I can come out of it better. If I don't, I'll live to regret it as I won't have the chance again.

I have a few friends, but the group is slowly starting to split up. I am terrified of being alone. I'm worried that I won't have the confidence to meet people, and I am terrified about even doing the most mundane of things. I'm finding that me doing all this will be extremely daunting and because I will be by myself, I have no one to turn to if things go sour.

So how do I go about managing this? When I get overwhelmed I pretty much just break down emotionally, cry, and just shut down. And this can't happen on a continual basis. Any advice on what to do, or how to manage this before I go, or when I get there?

Thanks

[PamelaR]

Hi Andy and welcome to Beyond Blue forums

Thank you for sharing your story. Anxiety is a bit debilitating at times, though is manageable. I'm not a health professional so can't provide any advice on what to do. Though I can share my experience with anxiety if that helps you at all.

While I haven't lived anywhere else other than Australia, I have had 6 major moves in my life - moving states, not knowing anyone in the new place, not having a job.

Interestingly, I can't recall ever being anxious about the moves, finding places to live, to work, and new friendships. I think I was 'too busy' trying to make it all work. The key for me before the move was planning - had everything planned. Of course, things comes up that are unexpected, but these were managed when they occurred.

In hindsight, I'm amazed at what I did, how I did it and ‘survived'. Because I was a loner, not having someone there for me was never an issue. It seems that is some of your concern, i.e. not being alone when you want support. Have you thought about researching the place your going before you leave? Some ideas you could look into are - groups, clubs that you are interested in, anything else you may need, e.g. medical services, mental health services?

What about having a support person here in Australia who you can Skype with when you want to talk?

In my travels overseas, I always found the hostels an excellent place to meet people. Dependent on what you want, there are some cities that have hostels that have a massive 'Aussie' clientele. I was never short of someone to talk to.
For me, it all sounds very exciting. I’d be looking forward to it.

Hope some of this helps.

Kind regards

PamelaR