Intrusive thoughts, what do I do?

[sar3658]

Hello

I am a 17 year old girl and have been suffering extreme anxiety for the past few months that has come out of nowhere. Always been anxious person growing up but it seems my mind has just taken over.

I started to believe I was going insane with depersonalisation and my thoughts constantly told me that I was insane and the world was not real. I started to research on intrusive thoughts and OCD and found that it is common for people to have sexual thoughts about family members. I read this and was so shocked this was happening to some people but over the course of a couple of days I couldnt help but think if I start thinking about that stuff. So of course my mind started thinking those things to the closest person in my life, my mum. This is the hardest thing to write because I've never experienced anxiety so bad. This happened about 4 weeks ago and was put on medication by my GP although haven't told anyone about my intrusive thoughts. While my anxiety died down a lot for about 2 weeks I started getting very anxious again about week 3 of the tablets and of course the intrusive thoughts have come back bad. I can't even sleep at night and I feel like I can't come back from this and I'm so scared to seek help from a psychologist because I am 17 and what if they think I have a very bad home life and need to speak with my mum or anyone else about what I'm going through.

Family is the most important thing in my life and I'm so close with everyone, have had such a good upbringing and love them so much especially my mum she is my best friend and it gives me such severe anxiety as to why I am thinking these things. Even when these thoughts cross my mind and my anxiety doesn't get too bad I start to question whether I'm getting used to this way of thinking and if I'll start to like the thoughts which gives me even more anxiety. Honestly I don't know what to do 😞

[sar3658]

Thankyou summer rose, that is very reassuring and I’m so glad for your daughter.

I just feel like a freak and so alone and trapped. I just saw my GP and am back on the medication. It’s also that time of the month for me so I’m not sure if my hormones are going crazy. I just feel so gross and insane. Is it normal? I’m praying I can get back to normal asap

[Summer Rose]

Hi Sar

The distress you are currently feeling is "normal" for what you are going through. I would expect you to experience relief from those thoughts once the medication kicks in.

For my daughter, there was gradual improvement and then one day she simply felt back to her old self. However, I don't know if this is how it works for everyone.

Please try to be patient (I know it's hard) and take it one day at a time. If you didn't get the chance to discuss this issue with your GP, it's perfectly ok to ring back and ask.

It's also a good idea to let a close family member or friend know what you are going through. The support will help but they can also be on the lookout for any potential side effects. Don't hesitate to call your GP with any concerns.

I can tell you that both my daughter and I believe there is a relationship between hormones and increased symptoms based on her experiences. The same is true of fatigue.

Please try to get plenty of good sleep, eat well and exercise at this time. It will help.

You are doing great. You will get through this.

Kind thoughts to you

[sar3658]

Thankyou for your advice.

I’m so scared because it’s come back and come back bad that I’m going to be stuck forever and the medication won’t work. My brain is telling me I like these

thoughts? And that I’m convincing myself their intrusive when I secretly like them? I DONT I’m so scared of them!!! Is this normal?? 😞

[Summer Rose]

Hi Sar

The simple answer is: yes.

OCD is sneaky and relentless. It finds a crack and plays on your worst fears. In this case, trying to convince you that you like the thoughts you abhor.

You and I know better. They are definitely intrusive thoughts. You definitely don't like or want them. The real you wants them gone. These are facts.

Remember who you really are. You are not OCD.

Can you try to do something to distract yourself? Remember the strategies that work for you and have a go.

You banished OCD thoughts once and you will do it again. I believe in you, lovely.

Kind thoughts to you

[Desedrata]

Hello,

I am sorry that you are having intrucive thoughts. I to have trouble with these and find distractions such as t.v. radio, books on tape and meditation discs can aid me in blocking them out to a certain degree.

I don't know if this will help but I also remind myself that, 'What I think does not make me who I am, what I do does.'

[sar3658]

Thankyou so much summer rose

im trying to distract myself during the day but quarantine makes it hard! It’s the reason all this started up again. its day 3 of taking the medication again and I’m also on melatonin for sleep.

I’m just scared these thoughts will never leave and I’ll always have them now 😞 it’s really got me questioning me as a person and I feel so bad and like I’m going insane! Like I should be put in a mental asylum! I have to try and stop thinking of this though it’s so hard.

Thanks again

[Croix]

Dear sar3658~

Summer Rose was talking abut distractions. They do help as I'm sure you know, the difficulty is breaking off from the train of thoughts you feel are real in order to do them. Sort of chicken and egg.

Logic won't work, it takes something else. I often use a free smartphone app called Smiling Mind. It guides my mind away from the present and into a different set of thoughts, soothing and helpful ones. It can take a bit of practice, but is designed for people like me who have the attention span of a goldfish and need constant reminders.

https://www.smilingmind.com.au

Sadly day 3 of the meds is not long in the scheme of things, sometimes they take a while to be effective.

Croix