Intrusive thoughts. Care to share yours?

[Skaters]

Hi everyone I have been diagnosed with anxiety, PTSD and obsessive compulsive personality disorder. I have been seeing various therapists  been on various medications etc.. I find it really annoying with the intrusive thoughts and obsessions and I find it very hard to explain and articulate what is happening.

Some examples are;  I obsess over people 24/7 from my waking moment and often find myself constantly fantasying through out the day, My mind constantly talks to me like a record and discusses schedules that i already know about even when I acknowledge the thought and say "yes i know about that" it will remind me again every few minutes it is extremely annoying and even though i'm a mother of two and work nearly full time hours i still have all of these obsessions and intrusive thoughts!

So anyone else have these or any other type of obsession and/or intrusive thoughts? What do you find helps? Do you think it is "Normal" on some level to have intrusive thoughts? I wish i could see what a "regular" brain thinks like lol!

Other obsessions are; Religious thoughts- worry about punishment and back karma. Images of bad things like my child hurting themselves etc, Worry about superstions effecting me.

 Thanks everyone :)))

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[CrashCoyote]

Hi Skaters,

I do not have experience with anxiety or OCD myself, although my last partner of seven years did and it was hard to watch her struggle with both. Of course, I had to watch her because I learnt early on that attempts to support her led to arguments.

P.T.S.D., I have it. Sydney policeman for thirty years.

I do not think that having dark thoughts is unusual. I do, sometimes, but I guess that because I do not suffer anxiety or any obsessive behaviours I can file them away pretty quickly.

Have you spoke to your G.P. about this? Are you receiving treatment for your conditions now?

I'd like to keep in touch if you are able.

Kind regards, John.

[Beltane]

Yeah I have this too 🙂 I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety, agoraphobia, and show ocd tendencies. So obsessions are obviously the intrusive bothersome thoughts, and compulsions are physical things you feel you have to do- like wash your hands constantly.

My also nat have bipolar as I exhibit severe mood swings and manic/ deoression. 

i didn't find my 2 years of CBT very helpful (it was helpful with some things but not others). I now do ACT and love love love it. It's all about acceotance, compassion towards your self, being mindful and present in the moment, and learning to recognise thoughts for what they are- thoughts. You basically learn to remove their power- they can only cause you anxiety and suffering of you let them. ACT is not about arguing with them, but just accepting them as what they are- thoughts that can't hurt you. 

Yes i i struggke immensely with the fantasies-I'm not psychotic or delusional, I know they're fantasies. But I can get lost in them and waste an hour or two just off in daydream land. Sometimes I can be a bit shocked or confused of someone snaps me out as I was so lost in it. I know it's not real though.

 sometimes I obsess with my daydreams- like I think I should make them come true. But often the daydreams are unrealistic- like I once nearly brought a plane ticket to England cos I daydreamed about England. But that's what act has taught me- to let that thought go. I always think "if I still want to do it next week, then I'll worry about it then". 

My obsessions: I obsess constantly over my relationship (happy long term), always worried about of we're happy and over analysing every single thing. Act is making it better- it's gotten much easier. I can become very obsessed and distressed over things I know are silly- like whether things are equal, whether the dinner portions are equal, if I touch my left knee I need to touch my right knee, whether writing is neat and exact. I have only one or two compulsions, mostly I constantly feel the need to play with my hair. Not self harm or anything, just playing with it.

i think everyone has little obsessions or rituals sometimes- you often hear people joke that they are OCD. It's not a very funny joke to those of us with actual OCD.

depression, anxiety and ocd tendencies can be normal parts of life- when they are ongoing, moderate- severe, or interfere with your life/ relationships/ work wtc it's an illness and isn't normal 

[geoff]

dear Skater, welcome to the site and thanks for posting your comment.

Yes I know exactly what you are talking about, as I've had OCD for at least 54 years, unfortunately I'm oldish as I'm 60 years old.

I always had these intrusive and hurtful thoughts years ago when my dearest Mum was alive and these were about punching her, but there was no way I would ever do that because I loved her so much.

This would absolutely horrify me and like you disturb me so much, but after she was in a nursing home for, I can't really remember, about 9 years, I looked at her and she was a helpless old lady and then I thought to myself how on earth could I ever think this way, so now if and when these thoughts happen again, about something I take my memories back to seeing Mum in the nursing home.

I can also dismiss them now or perhaps have a small giggle about how stupid this thought is.

Please reply back to us as you will have some questions. Geoff.

[Quinoa]

Hi,

I'm sixteen and have been diagnosed with severe OCD. My compulsions aren't too bad, it's the obsessions I struggle with. I have morbid obsessions, and I constantly think of violence, sexual violence and religion. These obsessions are always with me 24/7 too, and there seems to be nothing that can comfort me. Frequently, my psychologist tells me I don't fit the profile of the people who commit but I never believe him. Do you struggle with that, too? I also seem to 'swap' in and out of different scenarios in my head, which play out exactly the same thing I am doing but with sinister undertones to the point where I cannot tell what my original feeling or thought was. Does anyone here experience that? If so, how do you deal?

[Pounce]

I've always thought it was normal to to keep obsessing over and over the same scenarios, although I've always acknowledged that I'm a little eccentric! I also go off into my own world, oblivious to all around me. I call it fairy land. My friends call it Linda land.

The thoughts I'm disturbed by for the past few months are of hurting myself. Sometimes they've become compulsions. I want to know if there's anything I can do besides hiding the culprit implements. I've become frightened of them.

[Beltane]

Oh yes there is a lot you can do to help yourself!

Speak to your doctor! They can do 2 very helpful things. 

1. Write you a Mental Health Care Plan which entitles you to 10 free/ cheap visits to a psychologist who can use therapies like CBT or ACT to teach you  how to change these thoughts into more helpful/ realistic, or in the case of ACT- to make those horrible thoughts lose their power over you, so you can get back in connection with your truth self and act according to your true morals and values- not your illnesses strange thoughts.

2. Discuss options for medication with you. Meds can help balance the chemicals in our heads that are out of balance, and this ease and reduce our synptoms. It can take a bit of trial or error to find the right one but there are several antidepressant medication s that have been proven very effective in OCD.

ACT theraoy, lifestyle changes, and the right medication changed my life. Check out my post in the "recovery and staying well" section: I feel very stable, calm, able to cope, not suffering nasty synptoms or at the mercy of nasty thoughts. Instead I enjoy everyday and spend my energy on what I choose- work, friends, loved ones, and lovely hobbies that I have directed my excess energy into. I've devekoped quite a creative skill and find this relaxes on a very deep level and provides a stong sense or achievement when I see what I have created!

just some ideas.. Yes you May always be prone to repetitive or burdensome thoughts but you certainly can remove their power so much that they're just minor annoyances that you don't give any attention to- you just keep going about your day!

[Beltane]

I'd also recommend a book based on ACT called "the happiness trap" by Dr Russ Harris which has great ideas on how to "diffuse" the thoughts. (So act believes that arguing and debating or fighting them only gives them more energy- we want to remove their power). So we "diffuse. Eg one of my favourite techniques is to put it to the words of a song you find amusing- thise distressing thoughts sound much less threatening when they're sung to the tune of "sesame street". The idea is to teach yourself that these are just thoughts and they aren't REAL- if they're not helpful, we learn to not pay them any attention, and focus instead on what is helpful.

i also love love love an app called ACT Companion on the iPhone. You can also download many moods tracking apps, therapy apps- there's so much! Just try to read the reviews and the Info to make sure you're getting one that's actually useful and written by people who know what they're doing! (These don't replace theraoy- just an added tool) 

[geoff]

dearBeltane, Pounce and Quinoa, I am so pleased that you have all joined this conversation and I'm very interested in what you all have said. Geoff.

[Whichwayout]

Hi all

im in my thirties and have been suffering from anxiety for about 5 years. Started off with thoughts of hitting or kissing people when having conversations with them which needless to say made it very hard to take anything but stress and anxiety out of the situation. Consequently i became more and more introverted and avoided social interaction wherever possible. I ended up talking to a doctor and he prescribed me some medication. Long story short i had a bad reaction to this type of medication, gave terrible anxiety attacks for the 4 days i was taking it. The scariest part was not knowing it was the medication, i thought i had lost my mind. my partner had just had my daughter, i have 2 older step daughters also, and my partner was suffering from post natal depression at the same time. I then started having terrible intrusive thoughts about hurting my baby daughter. I was too afraid to have her near me  but i couldnt have her away from either because i was afraid she would choke or something else terrible would happen to her. Same time i had alot of responsibility at work and was also the sole provider for my family causing more stress because if i had a breakdown, "who would look after my family". There were a myriad of things that caused me anxiety as time went on but these were the biggest. I am still vattling every day but after medication, yoga, counselling, information and understanding i have found some peace. My partner was recently diagnosed with severe anxiety and has intrusive thoughts about suicide and is struggling with life at the moment, who says opposites attract haha. Maybe it was meant to be, me getting it first may have been for a reason who knows?! Thanks for letting me vent

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