I went shopping!

[Emma77]

I have put myself through such torture this morning. I’ve had increasing anxiety about the thought of shopping spaces, and I had myself freaked out and convinced I couldn’t do it before I even left the house. I’m kind of lucky that there’s a corner shop that so far hasn’t given me a panic attack (I have no idea what the difference is). Of course it has no variety, and is super expensive, but it’s an option for me so that at least I know I won’t starve. Anyway, the only way I could get out of the house was by telling myself that if I couldn’t cope at Coles, I was ‘allowed’ to go to the little shop. But I went to Coles, and wandered and wandered around the registers, too scared to go too far in. I’d walk halfway up the meat section, but couldn’t get to the back where the chicken is (of course it’s at the back) and then halfway up the pet isle, but not to the back where the cat food is (of course it’s at the back, I’m starting to take it personally, lol). And I just kept walking and walking, getting a little closer each time. Took me ages just to buy six items, but I finally did it. I feel good that I was able to do it, and was tempted to share this in the positive story thread, but there is still a voice giving me such a hard time. Telling me that it shouldn’t have been so hard in the first place, and I shouldn’t be patting myself on the back just for doing what most people do every day. Why does panic have to be so all-consuming?

[Starwolf]

Hey Emma,

Hats off to you ! I hope you feel proud of this achievement. You're on the right track here...one small step, one day at a time does it. There are good days and bad days. Thinking of a bad day as a setback, not a failure is the way to go.

I am wondering why the corner shop is not as daunting as the others...Is it because it is less frequented or because you will not buy anything there and won't have to interact with staff ?

Please avoid putting excessive pressure on you as this could trigger a panic attack. Starting with the idea that you don't have to go to the cat food section (for example) but will go another couple of steps further towards it will help relieving pressure without giving up altogether. It's a matter of getting the mind familiar with the idea that it can be done safely, with as little stress as possible. Stress has the knack of building up upon itself...

We are all different people, coping with different situations. What is a walk in the park for one will be a major hurdle for another and vice-versa. One thing will be a significant victory for one but mean little to another. This is why you should give yourself credit for what is an achievement for you. We should not compare ourselves with others. For example the person who has no trouble negotiating the supermarket aisles may be terrified of spiders or the escalator. Another with a heart condition may not be able to take the stairs. A scientist genius may be totally incapable of a successful relationship etc...So please do tell that self criticizing voice to be quiet and sit down. It's talking nonsense... I think you're a legend.

[ci]

Yes you definitely should be patting yourself on the back Emma77!

Believe me or not I know that exact feeling I have such anxiety about food and buying food and of course supermarket are a huge part of that.

I love that you posted such a positive post but please don't let that little voice tell you you should be patting yourself on the back what you achieved is huge.

I struggle to enter my supermarket it's been a struggle for the past year. What I found helpful is to go every day and get a few things it has taken time but I feel comfortable in my coles but would be a struggle to go to a different one.

Panic and anxiety can be so cruel don't beat yourself up over it and celebrate your wins! Well done today I 100% understand the enormous effort it took to achieve it.

[white knight]

Hi Emma

Just an idea, I don't like the large supermarkets but if I have to use one I use Woolworths because at the beginning of each aisle there I'd a laminated list if items with the aisle number on it. Eg cat food. 12

I also limit my food shopping to about half a trolley. That means half the time in that place.

Tony WK

[Emma77]

Thanks so much for the support. I don’t really talk about my anxiety with anyone, so there was no one that I could phone to say hey guess what I just did! It’s nice to know that I can come here though and people will understand both the fear, and the sense of achievement. Starwolf, I think the reason I prefer the local shop is because it’s smaller. Fewer people to make an idiot of myself in front of. Less chance that something will go wrong, and less time to do the mad hysterical dash out the door. Not that any of those things have happened, and they probably won’t, but the panic attacks are so insistent. CI – I have absolutely contemplated going to the supermarket every day but somehow always find an excuse not to. Sadly, it’s my most familiar supermarket
that is the hardest for me because that’s where I’ve had the panic attacks. Maybe I do need to force myself to confront that feeling every day or two. Tony, thanks for the advice, though I’m not sure how helpful it would be for me. The lists are at the ‘wrong’ end of the aisle (it’s a conspiracy I tell ya!) and it doesn’t bother me if I don’t know where something is. What bothers me is not being able to see the exit. If I can’t see it, then I can’t get out
when something goes horribly wrong. What I’d really like is to get half way into the supermarket, and then have a little errand person that I can say Sorry that cat food is just a bit too far for me. Can you please bring me 5 tins?

I am really proud of what I did though. I don’t love cooking, and a few months back I bought a slow cooker which I hadn’t gotten around to using. Yesterday, after being able to buy the ingredients, I finally used it for the first time – yum! Lots of achievements for me yesterday 🙂 Thanks again to you all

[Guest_3072]

Congrats Emma! I think it's important to remind yourself of your achievements, no matter how small. And it's always a good thing to try to avoid comparing yourself with other people and to remember that what one person may find easy to do may be difficult for another and vice versa!

[Muddlee]

Hi Emma,

What an achievement! You should be so proud of yourself. Everytime you face and challenge your fears you get stronger and stronger. And time is not an issue in the slightest here because slow and steady really wins the race when it comes to anxiety (I know, especially with my own social anxiety).

Keep going Emma! XD

Mudddlee

[blondguy]

Congratulations Emmy 🙂 You are a Legend!

In my 20's supermarkets were really hard work. I understand how good you feel right now for having a win!

Excellent

Paulxx

[Emma77]

Thanks again for all the support. Yesterday I came across the receipt in my bag, and have put it on the fridge! Guess I must be a little proud of it 🙂

[blondguy]

and so you should be proud too Emma...you legend!..Paulxx 🙂