i need help

[willow87]

I need help,,,,

my health anxiety has brought me to my limit.

I have had health anxiety for as long as I can remember. I am 28 now... and exhausted. I have been convinced so many times that I have had cancer of just about any type you can think of. I even thought at one stage after a bad case of the flu, that I had HIV... even though I have never even been exposed to it.. for some reason I thought I had it.

right now I am convinced that my hair is falling out. every single strand that comes out on the brush I obsess over. I even shower in the dark because I don't want to see any hair that comes out or I will make myself sick with worry.

I have seen psychiatrists, psychologists, been on medication, taken valium, seen naturopaths, and here I am... I don't feel as though this is ever going to get any better, I am so so tired...

My husband is supportive of me of course, but I know he is tired of this too.

does anyone else feel this way? I feel like I am the only one...

[MisterM]

Hi willow87,

Yep I worry that I have illnesses, cancer particularly.
Makes me obsess about it.
I remember in primary school I thought I had various illnesses.

You are not alone.

I am on medication now, so will see if I get any worries health related in future.

[white knight]

Hi willow,

When my anxiety first ran riot, my therapist (upon hearing my talk of what if's) asked me if I was being realistic.  eg on was on workcover due to a political event at work and I'd tell him I'm worried my boss would knock on my door. "Are you being realistic"? he'd ask.

Until he started asking me that I had all these fears that were controlling my thoughts.

Perhaps your husband can take up this question with you?

I can recall driving 15 kms to obtain cheaper petrol. Petrol cost savings were 3 cents/litre, cost to drive there was more than the savings. I'm intelligent to know that and after 3 or 4 trips worked the loss out with maths but I asked myself why I had become obsessed in paying the least for fuel.

Work things through slowly. After each event take time to think about it. After combing your hair for example and 6 strands of hair end up on your brush...ask yourself - am I really going bald? am I being realistic?

Finally, people like yourself with all these thoughts need (IMO) stimulous and spontaneity. It's Saturday and you both have the day off. Tell your husband you and he are going balloon flying. "But we would need to book"? he says. Then pull out two tickets!!! Go and do it. Maybe go-cart racing.

It's tough, not easy. But you can try. Such actions will help balance the field between the drama of him tackling your illness and doing the things he has now discounted in your relationship.

Occasionally he needs to be reminded why he is with you. Use google with "caring for the carer" to find out more.

Tony WK

[KatieNZ]

It's like I wrote your post, I literally couldn't explain it any better than what you have written. I am the same age as you and have had no actual health issues to make me feel this way or even bring it on, but I too have been suffering like you for the past 2 years - my hair is falling out at what seems large quantities lately but I have no patches of baldness or anything like that so I'm told hair loss is normal, it's apparently even seasonal so just like the trees we too malt in autumn. Unfortunately hair loss is also a sign of stress. I had a baby 6 months ago so am putting my hair loss down to my hormones regulating back to normal even though in the back of my mind I'm convinced it's because I have a a health problem ready to rear it's ugly head any moment. If this helps apparently all women loose between 100-150 hairs a day.  My mum died 6 months ago from ovarian cancer, she was healthy and beautiful with the world at her feet and she fell sick and was gone within 6 weeks... So lately I have had an upset stomach and now am feeling myself diagnosing myself with ovarian cancer. It's scary. Anyway I'll tell you a few things which help me - if you are unwell symptoms progress relentlessly they do not linger and come & go - also statistically u are at the prime of your life so u have nothing to worry about.. Cancer is also highly curable now so if the small chance u are diagnosed (which u won't) you will be fine like most of the population. Anyway I wish u best of luck and try to remember you can't damage ur relationship over an anxiety which is trying to bring you down. Fight it out. 

[BKYTH]

CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) could help you a great deal. It teachs you to challenge your thoughts and to ask how realistic they are amoung other things. I would advice you to get some info on CBT and to consult a Psychologist who uses this in thier work. The more equiped you are to challenge your thoughts the more you will be able to see them for what they are. Thoughts are just thoughts and not facts. I wish you well in your effort. Philip.

[Beeme74]

Hi there

It sounds like you have tried a few things already and it must be very hard.  Have you thought about trying a different Dr to get some strategies to help you? I know it is hard to start your story again with someone new but sometimes it is worth it. Not every Dr is skilled in providing therapy and treatment options for this sort of anxiety. 

Personally I have found keeping busy helps along with scheduling fun things and rest periods. This was of course after finding the right medication and getting some therapy. The more I isolate myself the worse those thoughts get. I also share them with my husband ..... I have had two grade 1 melanomas cut out so last week I startted to stress a mole was changing and had a red ring around it. It turned out to be a mozzie bite! What are the chances of a mozzie biting you directly over a mole???? 

Anyway we joked that the 2015 mozzie bite incident was now over 🙂 it helps to share your thoughts sometimes.

I hope this helps

Beeme