I moved here from NZ a week before COVID hit

[FlicB]

I moved here from NZ for a promotion, a week before COVID hit. My new role is really hard and I feel over-promoted. My flat is quiet and cold. Working from home, I don't really leave this space. I'm finding it hard to seek help and even harder to make new friends. I want to give up and go home, but I'd feel so ashamed after all the announcements made about me moving. I'm gaining weight, I'm not looking after myself and am smoking more than ever. Is anyone else stuck?

[Sophie_M]

Welcome to the forums, FlicB

We're so grateful that you have reached out here tonight to share your story. We're also really sorry to hear of the difficult past few months that you have been through since moving here. We empathise with how difficult it must be to be away from friends and family, but please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk about your thoughts and feelings, and our wonderful community is here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

If you feel up to it, we'd also recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. This website is regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348.

We hope that you find some comfort here in the words of wisdom and kindness that our community can offer. Please feel free to keep us updated here on your thread to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.

 

[Croix]

Dear FlicB~

Welcome to the Forum, I'm glad Sophie_M met you and gave you the Covid link, there is plenty there including councilors.

I guess before you came over and when you knew you had the promotion things looked pretty rosy, after all a move to a new country, a better job and all sorts of prospects. It is more than natural to share your good fortune wiht your friends and family.

It is simply bad luck, you are stuck a great deal by yourself and don't not have the iteration and support you would have expected in your new job. Plus you are cold and your flat seems quiet. If you have come from a big family that does make a marked difference.

Cold is probably the simplest thing to fix, getting a suitable heater which has more reserve power than you think you need (you do not have to use it flat out). Even if you are in lock-down some arrangement can be made I'm sure.

Sound and less quiet, obviously there is You-Tube, though you might prefer long playing relaxing background sounds (sea shore for example) over music playlists -depends on your taste I guess.

Feeling over-promoted is probably not justified, I'd strongly suspect it is a combination of your isolation and lack of others right beside you at work. You simply do not get to see the customary way things are done -shortcuts and all, or even see whch colleagues are by nature helpful, and whch aren't.

Weight and smoking go with the above, not surprising. If you are not in lock-down it may well be that exercise is a possibility, particularly if there are some nice walks nearby. The hard part, as always, is motivation to start:)

Do you think there is any way you can have a Zoom get together with some of your colleagues? I'd suggest you and two others each time, that allows for a freer exchange and if you do not hit it off with one the other might be fine. You may well find many would like to do this as my be feeling somewhat similar to yourself.

The aim is social interaction, and maybe in time build up a working relationship.

This is only a brief sort of fix-it post, I'd like it if you came back and said what you thought, together maybe with more about yourself; your likes, dislikes and so on

Croix

[LS128]

Dear FlicB,

It is brave of you to have the courage to reach out in a time that can seem very isolating especially with a lot of change going on in your life.

When you go into a job that has a lot more responsibility, it can feel like a challenge. But you were definitely not over-promoted. Remember that you got the role because your company and your colleagues know that you are awesome, and that you were up for the increased responsibility.

I have a couple friends in a similar situation who moved countries pre-Pandemic and are now living alone in a place that seems unfamiliar. What has been helpful for them is having FaceTime calls back home to friends and other loved ones. Don't feel defeated for wanting to chat to people and express how you feel.

The work situation is understandably tough especially if everyone is working from home and on video calls. A potential idea could be to have something like a "Virtual Brunch" where you all take half an hour or an hour to try and connect on a social level.

In a time of stress, people go back to habits that are not so healthy as a stress release outlet. I will admit to doing so a few months ago at the start of Covid. However what I found helpful is setting aside time a few times a week to put in time that focus on physical and mental health. For me, this has included things such as going for walks or for a run and breathing exercises. Think about the things that you enjoy doing and make time for it, in the same way you would make time for any sort of work meeting.

I hope that the above was helpful, and would love for you to come back with any questions or feelings you have. We are all here to help.

Warm Regards,
LS128