I’m terribly afraid of loosing my job.

[Mr K]

On Friday I was told People had concerns about my work and I was being put on a performance improvement plan. It felt like it came out of the blue as nothing was said to me before this.  I’m terribly worried that loosing my current job will lead me into unemployment, threaten my ability to pay my rent and worse of all my loosing the time I get with my kids. 

I work in a role that doesn’t come up for employment very often and up to this point I’ve relied on my reputation and hard work to get these roles as I’m not particularly well educated or qualified. 

I think I can pick up components and do better in some areas but the pressure I’m under is intense and I’m feeling overwhelmed and sick thinking about it. 

I don’t know if the plan is a genuine opportunity for me to improve or just a paper trail for my employer to begin my termination. 

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome,

This sounds like an incredibly stressful situation. It's understandable to feel worried about the future. I know t it's to assume the worst will happen. Try not to assume the worst yet though - a performance plan may be a genuine chance to improve. Be open about your concerns with your employer so you're on the same page. Focus on the areas you can control, like putting in extra effort and asking for support when needed.

While I don't know how long you have been at this job, you would have the skills and talents needed. Have faith in yourself. Stay hopeful through the process. You've got this, and better opportunities lie ahead if needed. You're stronger than you know.

[Mr K]

Thank you for your reply, It doesn't solve my problem but it helps knowing there are caring people out there. This event has really rocked my trust, I had thought that if there were concerns they would have been discussed long before we went down such an official pathway. I feel so overwhelmed at the moment I am really struggling to stay positive or focused and time off isn't an option as that will just compound the issue.

[smallwolf]

You said ...

"I had thought that if there were concerns they would have been discussed long before we went down such an official pathway."

I agree with you 110%. It would be very frustrating to find out that nothing is being said until it gets official. I think it is also worse when it comes for unofficial channels or gossip. And each day that nothing happens is another day to ruminate on the issue. I wonder if you have considered having a chat with your manager about this?

[Mr K]

Unfortunately, I'm too afraid to speak up, It's too easy for people to find ways to become offended and once they are defensive of their actions they tend to go all out trying to prove they were right. For now, it looks like I'm just going to have to live under this shadow even though I now dread coming into what I once believed to be a supportive workplace.

[cv02]

I completely understand the feeling. You are not alone. I had a manager leave 4 years ago which left me with feelings of inadequacy and doubt. I actually got diagnosed with depression. The replacement who ended up being a supportive manager is not also leaving which is again brining up feelings of anxiety. I feel my mind and body feeling anxious with ruminating thoughts like - how am I going to pay my mortgage? What will my kids think? Will I have balance in my life or am I just going to work 16 hour days in the future? For now I think it's best to take one step, day at a time. You are not alone.

[Mr K]

Thank you cv02, it's the most all-consuming thing at the moment. Money does not buy happiness but my wage keeps a roof over my children's heads and food in their bellies. Our life is humble by many people's standards but when I have to think about the possibility of job hunting and rearranging school and care routines, cutting back etc. well I've not had a decent night's sleep for I don't know how long.

[smallwolf]

It's evident that you're doing everything you can to provide for your children, and that's incredibly commendable. Remember, it's okay to feel the weight of these responsibilities, and your dedication as a parent is remarkable. If you ever need someone to chat to ... I and the others are here. Our experiences might not be the same but the thoughts and feelings ....

Listening

[Mr K]

I think after becoming a single dad the realisation that I am the only plan B really hit me hard. I’m so lonely when my kids are gone and I have no friends to turn to. Life looks like it’s going to be a struggle with one complication after another until I’m dead and gone.