I’m so overwhelmed. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs!!!

[Guest_64036479]

I’ve been through a lot.

but lately it’s been my youngest boys 2 surgeries and my dog having cancer removed. His tail was amputated and another mast cell cut from his leg. It hasn’t healed, so I’m taking him to the vet 3 x per week to get his dressing’s changed and I argued the removal of his cancer with my husband. I’m the one taking care of him all the time and taking him to the vets for his dressing change! I’m so angry and upset! I’m the one who had to get my son’s leg cut off and reattached with massive surgery!!!!! I’m always the one trying to make sure everyone is okay!!!!! I’m so broken 😞 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome 

Oh wow, over 11 years service here this is one that I wish we both could wipe each other's tears just once. What a beautiful soul you are.

So, having been in similar stressed situations owner of 2 mini foxys and an adult daughter that was pensioned off at 27yo from work, we feel we need more support than what we are getting.

The first thing we need to acknowledge is that we cannot "save the world", that there arrives events in our lives that overwhelms us to such a degree that we need intervention in the form of people that are trained in that area, an outsider that can see it clearer than us as they are emotionally detached.

So it all start with your GP. Many times over the years I've proved time and again that my GP is the first point of call as she runs tests, bloods etc to ascertain they are OK (last time shocked I was diabetic!) Then recommendation for 10 free visits to a psychologist where I was told I'm likely "high functioning autistic" along with bipolar. A revelation that added up!

Now, I can imagine the load you are carrying now about your dog but in reality you are only human, you like everyone has limitations. It's not your fault.

I hope your son has some level of normality in his life too. These events cause emotional waves and this time you wrote to us. I'm glad you did. 

Since you've written, I hope you feel better.

WHAT MAKES US SPECIAL

What a marvel you must be

To cuddle those in your care

How could they survive it here

If you weren't there?

And as sure as the sun will rise

You might give yourself a surprise

That you'll dust yourself off again

And wipe away your cries 

That's what make us special

To rebound within oneself

But every now and then

We just need a little help...

TonyWK

[therising]

A warm and heartfelt welcome to you at a time in your life that sounds so incredibly challenging, stressful and heartbreaking. I'm glad you came here to a place where people can care for you.❤️

'Who cares for the carer of others?' was a question that came to mind for me a few years back, amidst a sense of depression and anger. I think while we can be genuinely appreciative and grateful for some of the care that's given to us, when a deeper or more meaningful sense of care is needed, a lack of that kind of care is definitely something that can be felt through sadness and anger.

There can be so many elements to being a deeply caring person, which helps explains some of the stress, exhaustion and overwhelm at times. Not only do you have to be a problem solver, you also need to be a stretcher of the imagination (in order to imagine or see the best way forward). You need to exercise and develop your ability as a seer. You have to be an outside the square thinker, a musterer of compassion, a researcher/investigator of the best way forward and a consultant to those who can provide it. You have to be the kind of person who's prepared to do what you've never done before, facing a lot of first time challenges (which is hard to do without support). While the list of requirements for a deeply caring person can go beyond all this, I'd have to say the most challenging thing above everything involves sensitivity.

While sensitivity tends to be defined by most people 'as being caring and kind or delicate in some ways', I've been led to see it differently. Sensitivity involves the ability to sense. I smile when I say sensitivity can become a bit of a double edged sword. While exercising and practicing our sensitivity towards others can see them evolving or advancing through and beyond their challenges or struggles, practice inevitably makes perfect. You become so good at sensing that you begin to sense so much more. Now you can sense what's angering, depressing, stressful, frustrating etc. You can sense what your nervous system's doing and you can sense other people's disinterest, poor attitude, degradation towards you and the list goes on and on.

My husband's actually an 'It'll be right' kind of guy. He seems to believe things just magically work out for the best. He doesn't see behind the scenes, where I make things right. It's hard work sometimes and taxing work, especially when you're making a lot of things right on your own. A deeply caring person can provide a greater sense of ease for others. Without help, guidance and support, we can suddenly find our self at tipping point or you could say in a state of great dis-ease. At the end of the day, someone else's serious lack of input can be something we sense as being sickening (aka 'I'm sick of this!). Throw in a 'because' and it becomes 'I'm sick because of this'. 🙂

[white knight]

Following up, how are you today? Reply only if you want to. 

With care

TonyWK