I'm confident but I'm anxious

[mood]

Hi,

I want to thank you for reading this first, this is my first forum post.
I'm 13 years old and I'm in the hardest point in my life right now, school anxiety is overwhelming, I've been diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder and I often feel like an outcast, even when i know I'm not and when people make the effort to be my friend I still feel unsteady, school has always been a problem for me, even more so now. I've always been sensitive but i guess these unfavourable events forced me to toughen up a bit and guard myself more, I'm very confident in myself but it isnt the same for my ability to go back to mainstream school, every time i think about walking into the school gates and being in the presence of people make me very nauseous, dizzy, tired and often it physically paralyzes me , I have no idea why. My therapy sessions are fine, I feel like im more and more confident, but the second I think about going to school everything i've talked about and learnt is thrown out the window, it's like someone reached into my head and pulled out every nice thing about school and replaced it with unrealistic doubts which is even more confusing because i know it's unrealistic, i know that nothing bad will happen yet my mind gets so hysteric and my entire body shuts down still, Im so confused to my situation, im confident but im anxious and it's really draining, i dont want to give up but i know i cant muster up enough willpower to actually go through with any of my psychologists plans and i feel helpless

[Croix]

Dear Mood

It is frustrating and even frightening when anxiety takes over, and panic attacks as you describe them are something else (yes me too:(

Not knowing what the reason behind the anxiety attacks is not unusual, for a long time I was in the same situation. Sensible rational thoughts that nothing is going to happen simply don't seem to work.

Going though those school gates seems a very tough way to approach things, basically doing things head-on. Have you thought of a more gradual approach?

Maybe like meeting someone from school at a cafe or their house or something. Not going to school on that occasion, just getting used to one person. Maybe having some homework to do at home, then if you had a friend accompanying you and a mission - hand in the work, you could just sneak in for a few minutes.

What I'm trying to suggest is not meeting things head-on, but trying to think of small, even tiny, steps that you think might be achievable.

What's your opinion?

Croix

[quirkywords]

mood,

I want to welcome you to the forum and thank you for having the courage to write your first post so honestly.

You write very well in describing exactly how you feel and the physical reactions as well.

Croix has given you helpful suggestions .

I am sure others will relate to your story as I do. When I was 16 , I found it very hard to go to school and every day for some time my dad would drive me to the gate and I would look at all the other students and being happy and I could not move. I felt stuck to my seat. I looked at my dad and he was disappointed and couldn't understand why I could not open the car door.

I can understand that it seems unrealistic even to you but it is your reality.

I agree with Croix that small steps may help and then build from there.

For me the thought of facing everyone after I had a lot od time of school was so hard. One day a student teacher saw me in the car with door open, which was a huge step for me, and she said could I show her to the staffroom.

I have no idea if she knew how scared I was, but I managed to get out of the car get to the gate and point to the staffroom . I then got back in the car and went home and I was exhausted but the next day I got out of car and through the gate. It was not easy at all and it took a while but I did manage it.

I can see how hard you are trying and the fact you have written your post and have an insight into what is happening is a good start.

Well done for writing to us and feel free to post here as much as you like.

Quirky