Hi stell_a178
I agree with everything Quirky and Grandy offer you in the way of guidance and reassurance (2 incredibly beautiful, wise, caring and supportive regulars on the forums here).
With Quirky mentioning instincts, I believe it's all about trusting in our ability to feel what's right for us. If we're just not feeling the vibe with any potential partner we come across (in the way of a relationship or sex), we're simply not feeling it and that's all there is to it. So, if anyone was to say to you 'Why haven't you indulged in sex yet? What's wrong with you?', you could simply say 'There's absolutely nothing 'wrong' with me, I just haven't felt the vibe with anyone and that's not a fault, that's an ability (being able to feel what's right or wrong for us)'. Plenty of young people go there for all the wrong reasons: They feel pressured by friends or their partner, they give in so as to keep their partner interested, they don't want to feel harshly judged and the list of all the wrong reasons goes on.
If you don't feel the need to drink, good for you. As a 53yo gal who's an ex drinker, I can confidently say life is a far more deeply felt experience without alcohol. I've raised my 18yo son and 21yo daughter to ask 'Why do I feel the need to drink?'. While my daughter knows exactly why she occasionally drinks, my son has zero interest in it. He much prefers to feel how he naturally feels, without drinking what is technically a mind altering substance. He feels no need to alter his mind in such a way. He likes to get a feel for his emotions so that he can master them, even the uncomfortable ones. With him being sensitive to overwhelming noise at large gatherings, he'll open a pack of earplugs to manage how he feels the noise level (lowering the volume), rather than opening a six pack of beers in order to manage. I personally never questioned why I felt the need to drink when I was younger. It was only in hindsight that I discovered the reason. I used alcohol as an emotional regulator - to feel happier, to feel more relaxed, feel more confident, feel less socially anxious, feel more carefree, feel less depressed etc etc. I've learned all those things should be skillfully developed without alcohol. The mind is naturally altered through the skillful development of a sense of happiness, the skillful development of relaxation etc. If many of your friends feel the need to regularly drink to the point of 'mind altering', pays to wonder why.
It sounds like you're a natural at life, naturally being able to get a feel for who's right or wrong for you while not allowing alcohol to get in the way of how you naturally feel life and your connection to it. How could someone who's such a natural possibly be broken? 😊
