I feel like I have no friends

[Chestnut]

As long as I can remember I’ve always struggled to keep a friend for a long time. I’m 16, just left high school early a couple months ago to do nursing.  I don’t talk to anyone I did sports with or went to school with. I’ve been waiting for that to start to make like minded friends but that’s just been pushed back another 4 months.

I try talking to old friends from my high schools but I fall onto deaf ears, and I know it’s not necessarily me but the different positions in life we’re in and experiences so we don’t have much to talk about. 

I feel like I’m in such a hole, I don’t have the energy to go out and make friends- even if I did, I find myself shying away out of fear I’ll be “too loud” or “too much” as previous friends have suggested. 

I know I’m digging my own lonely hole, I’m 16- I feel like I should have more friends than just my mum( she’s 17 years older than me so she’s like a sister) though she’s awesome.. it’s just not the same. I want someone to hangout with, sleepovers, go out to the beach or stuff like that. 

I don’t know what I should be doing anymore tbh. So Im writting this, if anyone’s been there what did you do?
thank you for spending your time to read ♥️ 

[Ranga-1]

Sixteen can be lonely. If people think you're 'too loud' or 'too much', maybe they're not the right 'fit', if that makes sense. If you're feeling a big shy about going out at the moment, can you join an online common-interest community? That way you have some company of sorts. 

Also, what about the nursing course? Has that been pushed back? In the meantime, is there an online group of students from the course you can connect with until you regain enough confidence go to out?

In the meantime, it's important you get out and get some exercise. Learn to love yourself - you're worth it! Maybe sit on the beach and enjoy your own company in teh meantime.

You seem like a very mature and intelligent young woman. I have no doubt you will soon make friends, especially when you're immersed in your studies. 

[SAVE888]

Hi Chesnut, I'm 27 in pretty much the sameboat. I also work in healthcare I still working through this issues so I myself don't have a solutions but know that there are many people out there that experience the same thing. For me fortunately work keep me occupied but still that "social hole" as you mentioned is there. Hope you have a great week Thanks

[Chestnut]

Hi Save888, it’s been a hot minute. I hope your doing better<3 

I’ve found a close friend through my nursing, though their not a best friend their honest and frankly all you need is one friend at the end of the day. You’re better off being able to count your honest and caring friends on one hand than having too many fakes to count. I found getting out of the house offers so many encounters with lovely people, even if you’re going out solo. Pick up a hobby! It’s important to have a good work life balance :). There’s also heaps of communities on like Facebook and stuff that have “get togethers” to do activities and make friends! 
I truly wish you all the best and thank you so much for your reply, it helped me feel seen when I needed it most 🙂

[BlueLily]

Hi Chestnut,

Good to hear that you found some comfort in previous replies. You indeed only need one good friend to last a friendship of a lifetime.

I remember when I was 15, my best friend and I had an issue which broke our friendship. I felt so lonely and felt like everybody was against me. But then I pushed myself to hang around with the only couple of students who were nice to me. Many years later the new found friends are still my best friends. It's not about just being friends with anybody. It's about finding the friend who makes you feel comfortable and allow you to be yourself.

Also it's great to hear that your mom is like a great friend. Not everybody is fortunate to have that rare bond due to various reasons such as age/conflicting opinions etc. 

[MoodyGuy87]

Hi there

I read your story. I am so sorry for what you are going through. When I was much younger, I went through the same thing as you did when I was at school. I really wanted to have friends too and do all those cool things like parties, trips to the beach and sleepovers. I am now 37 and I have Asperger's. When I finished started at high school, I did have opportunities to make friends. There was this group of girls who were interested in wanting to get to know me, but due to being too shy and struggled with communicating, I rejected them (now I live to regret that decision). I was also bullied, so I was pulled out of school and had to do home schooling. After a while, I felt isolated and depressed and wanted to return to school so I could be with the other kids and maybe I could have even reconsidered taking up the offer of friendship from those girls who I have previously rejected. But the bullying got worse, so I had to be home schooled again. But unfortunately, I can't change the past and fix everything. I hope you find what you're looking for. Just be yourself and hopefully you will make some really interesting friends.