Dear Ma-jd~
I don't think you realize how strong you have been. I guess anxiety and similar illnesses fall in a blind spot. If you soldiered on at work with a serious physical ailment people would recognize the effort involved.
You said: "I'm always nauseous, dizzy and terrified. My stomachs in knots" and this got so bad your threw up! But you go to work. I have been in exactly your place so understand how it feels, overcoming your symptoms is no mean feat.
Going to work is in some ways harder than a visit to a psychologist. Work does not have the promise of making your anxiety better, getting the proper medical treatment does. As Tony says getting well takes time, but anxiety conditions do respond. I was a total mess, now I'm miles better. This is due to medication, therapy, lifestyle and support from my family, particularly my partner. An example of the 'multi-pronged' approach Tony was talking about.
You really do know what to do, consult with your doctor over medication and evaluate it's effect over time. Make that appointment with the psychologist - and actually turn up 🙂
I was scared of my future, in fact I did not think I had one. Now I'm living it and happy - something which at the start I would not have believed possible.
Do you have to do things alone? Is there anyone in your life to help and support you? Talk with you, maybe take you to that first appointment and wait til you come out?
Reading these threads as you have you formed the right impression. These is an amazing amount of care here for each other. We all have experience of illness, some are better, some are just starting out, and the care just comes naturally as a result.
I've not talked too much about the things you can do on a daily basis to reduce your anxiety level. Perhaps another time. I think Tony has given you enough pretty good recommendations to be getting on with.
Please know you are welcome here, we do understand
Croix
