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needssleep
Community Member

Hi so I am 18 and I guess that’s kinda the start of adulthood and everyone my age is getting jobs and going to parties and doing all of the adult things but I still feel like I haven’t grown out of being a child yet, I still have teddies and still have a colour full bedroom and still think that seggs is gross. So I don’t understand what is wrong with me. 
I have tried getting a job and went to a coffee making class but we hadn’t even started making coffee before I throw up, I went for an interview for Woolworths and froze. It feels like I am never going to get a job because just going outside is a big deal for me. I am scared because if I don’t get a job people will look down on me and I will just have to live off my parents. 
I thought that maybe getting a job in childcare might help because being around children tends to soothe my anxiety because I am thinking about what they need and not think about my anxiety but I went to a childcare centre for a interview for a traineeship and they didn’t even call be back. Anyway it’s 12 at night and I have an interview for volunteering for an op shop tomorrow and I can’t get too sleep because I am scared, I really want to volunteer because I need to gain people skills if I am going to get a job so yeah.

I don’t understand why you need to have a job to be a functioning person in society but my dad says it’s about paying your part or something. It doesn’t make sense that you need to have a job to live, if I didn’t have my parents I probably wouldn’t be here (as in alive because I wouldn’t have money to live) 

I am scared I just really don’t want to disappoint anyone.

5 Replies 5

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi needssleep I have a daughter who turned 18 this year and she still has her teddies and a security blanket at home.We all mature at different rates and their is nothing wrong with who you are.My daughter does volunteering one day a week at the RSPCA which she loves so it is a good way to ease into working and gaining confidence.She also does study one day a week at TAFE.Their is many courses you can choose from.If you can find something you enjoy makes a difference.

Beeee
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello needssleep,

 

Thank you for sharing and I can understand how the pressure to find a job might feel overwhelming. You are 18, but turning 18 is just taking the first step into adulthood, you have plenty of time ahead of you and should move at what ever pace you feel comfortable with. 

 

I can see that you've already taken many steps outside of your comfort zone by interviewing at Woolworths and a childcare. Every time you go to an interview you're growing and learning and it might take many interviews before you get your first job. I was interviewing at places for almost 2 years after turning 18 before I got my first job. Keep trying and I'm sure when the right opportunity comes along, everything will work out. 

 

Unfortunately we do live in a world where you need money to live, but if your parents are happy to support you, take your time and build up your confidence before joining the workforce. It's clear how hard you are trying and when you're putting in your best effort you certainly won't disappoint anyone. 

 

Best wishes,

Beeee

livi_mivi
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hey Needssleep, 

 

Thank you for taking the time to post and reaching out for support. 18 is a year full of big adjustments so I can definitely relate to feeling the pressure of "growing up" and just feeling overwhelmed. I think that the only thing that really provided me with the comfort that I needed during this time period was the thought that everybody moves at their own pace in life. It's okay and necessary to move out of your comfort zone but it's also scary, so I personally took little steps out of that comfort zone and took my time to adjust. I've found that as I have gotten older, it's gotten easier to take bigger steps and to really put major emphasis on my mental health because it was often that intense anxiety about the unknown that stopped me from doing a lot of things. 

 

You should be proud that you have gone to the interviews and attended things that have made you comfortable! As Beeee mentioned, it's these experiences that you learn from and that can prepare you for those to come. I understand it can be frustrating and disheartening to not get a job/feel as though you didn't do well in an interview, but it's also great to know what you can improve on/what type of questions people ask so that you can better prepare for the next ones that come up. 

 

It might also be helpful to get some additional support and have someone that you can talk to about these feelings and how to cope when things get overwhelming. Do you have some family or friends that you feel you can talk about this with? Do you think it could be beneficial to get a mental health care plan from your GP to visit a mental health professional? 

 

I really wish you all the best and wish you luck for your volunteering position interview! 

Petal22
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi needssleep,

 

I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

 

Just take a deep breathe and relax everything will work out.

 

Please don't worry about pleasing others, just think about pleasing yourself.

 

What makes you feel good? What are you interested in? How is having a job going to grow you?

 

I believe that life is all about love and personal growth and we all grow at different rates.

 

When you do have a job it will give you more life skills.

 

I think it's great that you had an interview for Woolworths ok you froze but that's ok it happens, maybe try to practice some interview skills before the interview, maybe you could ask your parents to give you a interview for practice.

 

The more you practice the better at it you will become.

 

Remember to also give yourself self love because this will also grow your confidence.

blues23
Community Member

Your doing all the right things , your still very young so don’t feel bad about teddys ( I have teddys and I am much older than you ) if they bring you joy why not have them ? As to the work thing you are doing the right things   Voluntarily work is a good start it will help your confidence and you will get a job no worries . We’ve all been there and it takes time  go with what you enjoy as you say u like working with children try getting your childcare certificate at tafe im not sure how long that course takes but it is a good stepping stone to start looking at careers you might like on seek doesn’t mean u have to apply just look and see what the job description is and get a feel of it and most of all be kind to yourself  a job is simply a way to pay bills and support yourself but you are still very young