How do i explain?

[PBelle]

Just wanting to ask if anyone has any suggestions on how to tell someone that the reason I acted a certain way was because of my illness without it sounding like an excuse or a cope out?
Talking about on here is easy but, I don't how to explain it on the outside. Will they understand that it wasn't my fault, I couldn't control my actions? Or does using my anxiety and saying that I wasn't well an excuse for the behaviour? Should I not say anything or should I be honest about having anxiety issues?

[PBelle]

Hey CMF,

Things are good, been chatting to my friends like nothing ever happened. Told a few friends about anxiety and they have been very supportive. I'm ok. Thanks so much for asking.

[PBelle]

So instead of starting a new thread, I thought I would just write in an old one. It is a bit different from what I have previously written but still dealing with anxiety. So everything was going fine the last few months, we’ll at least I thought it was until a couple of months ago when I started to have some health issues with my body and because of that I had some visits to the doctor, and it hasn’t been ruled out that stress is the cause. Only stress I have is from work and cause of the symptoms such as tiredness, mood swings, my work has suffered. And it has led to me getting a formal written warning from my boss cause my duty of care hasn’t been up to scratch, so they say. Work knows about my health, but they don’t seem to be sympathies or show any understanding and just say that in that case that I am unfit for work. But don’t seem to understand that I feel pressured to work cause of things they say about being so understaffed. But also don’t offer me any time off either.Things changed at work in the last 18mths and we got taken over by a new company which are so strict and it seems that that is when things began to suffer. Why doesn’t my boss have any sympathy or try to help. She just makes me feel bad. I receive my formal written warning tomorrow and am not looking forward to facing work. One thing that is stressing me out is the formal written warning. Does anyone know how long that stays on my record, say if I did leave in the next couple of months, how long does it stay for future employers to see. After nearly 12 years with this company, I don’t want one black mark stopping me from getting a job. Any advice on trying to control the stress and embarrassment of going back to work? Plus I am scared of losing my job, if they think things don’t imporove. Most times I feel invisiable at work, I work so hard and never get any praise or thanks, but when I stuff up, it’s the thing they notice.

[Croix]

Dear PBelle~

To answer you question first, as far as I know there is not statutory limit on retaining a warning in an employee's record, however good management practice would mean there is a review after a certain period.

Sadly it does not sound as if your new employers are good to work for. As you would understand praise is needed as well as criticism, however some companies only do the latter. By and large they are not good companies to work for and many trade on the fact the staff really need their jobs and have no choice but to put up with eroding working conditions.

A new company taking over an existing establishment may be seeing it in a different light to the old owners, and wish to make more profit. This of course means some of the ongoing operations are cut back or done in cheaper ways. Being understaffed and not allowing time off for remaining staff may well be one of these sorts of situations.

You sound as if your health is very much suffering from your work. If there was any chance of looking around for something else I think I would consider it. In the meantime trying to have boundaries between work and the rest of your life is something to try. A richer off-duty life may help compensate somewhat and not let work encroach on your thoughts out of hours.

Croix

[Tess2]

Hi a formal written warning may stay in your file , but it can only be acted on for a second incident of the same nature within one year. I would not let this stress you too much. To give you the warning should not be the first action you should be offered the opportunity to correct , be offered support etc to achieve the desired performance. This sounds poorly managed to me. You can challenge this if you feel up,to it. Have you had advice? They have to have clear examples of where your duty of care has not been up to standard and what they have done to help you so far. This does not sound like a great workplace. Are you getting support from your GP. Keep posting. And take care