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Homeless and in limbo indecision

R.Penn
Community Member

Hi there,

I have previously posted here before a couple of times. I have reached out and am receiving therapy once a week on the phone with lifeline which I am super thankful for. I have moved around so much since my first relocation interstate and since covid things have gotten progressively worse for me and prolonged unemployment hasn’t help either has my attitude to returning to employment. I want to work I just want to work with good people, I have had so many jobs where people have just been awful and bitchy and gossip. I got involved with a woman at one of my longest held jobs a meek 1 year and it ruined me. I won’t go into this detail as I have worked through it and have gone no contact for a year. I just have become homeless now due to the housing crisis and lack of decent share houses/ affordable rooms and lack of rentals in QLD. I try to remain thankful for my friend in Brisbane, my family and my car that is my safe space. I haven’t slept on the street yet but am close to it as I can’t find anywhere to live and have no money for bond upfront. I receive job seeker allowance which I am so thankful for but the whole process seems to be weighing me down and I feel like I am drowning. I am 32 I should know how to look after myself by now but I feel so behind.

I want to buy a van because half my problem is not knowing where I want to based and not really feeling like I belong anywhere. I lived in Melbourne for 9 years which was my home and I tried to return last year but got stuck in the 5 month lockdown with some not so close friends in a sharehouse. I just don’t know what to do now… I need somewhere to live this week so I can find a job as I am at desperate point now. I can’t focus on one direction and feel like I am a burden to my family and friends now. I just want to run away some days but I don’t want to become more isolated.

Has anyone been in this position before? I know its happening to a huge amount of Australians at the moment and I get rage against the system and our government not providing enough emergency accommodation for everyone. There are so many homeless people… I was thinking maybe I could go join them wherever they are camping… I just get scared about my safety.

I think I have decision paralysis from moving back and forth interstate too many times during covid pandemic also getting stuck in quarantine and a longer lockdown.

I would appreciate anyone’s advice moving forward Thankyou

9 Replies 9

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Dear R.Penn
 
Thank you for showing such courage in posting and it is great to know you feel safe to be able to share your experience here and we hope that you find the support you are looking for.
 
We are sorry to hear just how difficult it has been for you over recent times and all the obstacles that you have overcome; the strength in you from having to do that and come this far will hopefully get you to where you want to be.  It doesn’t help with the current rental crisis and we are glad you reached out to share your experience in the hope of obtaining some useful advice moving forward.  The following may help in terms of accommodation and information local to you:
 
Homelessness and Accommodation Hotline: 1800 474 753
 
If you need to talk please know we are also here 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via our webchat.  Our team who answer the phones are ready to have a supportive and non-judgmental chat whenever you need it.
 
In the meantime we’re sure you will hear from some of our lovely community members here on your thread soon.
 
Kind Regards
 
Sophie M
 
 

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi R. Penn,

I didn't meet you before, so I'd like to welcome you anyway.😺

Unfortunately, I don't have any answers to offer. I've never actually ever been really homeless. I was with someone in their car, travelling around, with their son, too, for six months. I didn't think of it as me being homeless, but it really was. I had no residential address, did I? & it was my mistake to be so totally dependant on that so&so...

Being homeless , sleeping, out there alone, in a car, much less on the street is a nightmare idea for me.

I'm so sorry times are such, circumstances are such, that you really are homeless.

Here in Qld, we've had a cold winter so far as well.

I'm glad to read you have some friends & family. Do any of them know of your current situation? Are any of them helping you at all?

Truly sorry I can't do more.

Please let us know if you follow up with the Homelessness and Accommodation Hotline, as Sophie_M suggested.

My kindest thoughts,

mmMekitty

R.Penn
Community Member

Hello mmMeKitty

Thank you for your reply to my post. I’m sorry you have experience homelessness before as well. I do not wish it upon anyone. It’s such a stressful state and I feel for people out there on the streets in winter too. It has been cold in Queensland this year. Thank god I got good news yesterday, my sister found a caravan in a park I can rent. I moved in today. It is old but I am thankful to have a shelter. I had been going back and forth between living with my boyfriend but he wasn’t in the same position as me, he was fussier with rentals which I could not afford to be. We have had many fights now and I think this is his last straw. But I tried my very best too and we are in a housing crisis. He is being unreasonable and I feel like we will break up now. I get blamed for everything. I think it has become a bit unhealthy now as I haven’t been able to provide him consistency in my living circumstances…

But I am so happy to have somewhere and a shower toilet block near by to use. I just need to find a job now to afford it.

Thank you for your help and care 🙂

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi R.Penn,

Did you try the Homelessness & Accommodation Hotline mentioned by Sophie_M?

I was young, with someone I shouldn't have been with, travelling a lot. Road house food, a caravan park once, I don't remember everything. That so&so was the most frightening part of that 6 months.

Certainly a car's security would be enormously important.

I'm glad you have found a place in a caravan park.

I take it, you have to be incontact with Centrelink? Might they help you with the rent? I guess I'd be trying anything & everything, like Lifeline, Salvos, as well. & even if they can't help you find better accommodation you can afford, they can help with referrals to other services & resources.

Take care,

mmMekitty

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello R.Penn, if you could copy and paste this link it may be of some assistance for you.

-https://createyourfuture.org.au/a-place-to-live/emergency-housing/

Geoff.

R.Penn
Community Member

Sorry for my delayed reply mmMeKitty

I did not end up calling the hotline I was very close to and then I went to stay with my sister and she helped me find the caravan park site. It’s a shelter for now but not ideal. It is the oldest cabin and has been so cold this winter but I am grateful, much better than sleeping in my car and they put a fridge and bed in there already which saved me having to buy one. I just have to stay positive. I keep wondering if it would be cheaper and easier to rent in Melbourne again, which is closer to one of my best friends. But I have moved so much now I just need more money and income so I don’t get stuck again. I currently get job seeker allowance and centrelink pay me some rent assistance as its $220 a week here which is the most I have paid for a while. Now I just need to find some work but its been nearly 2 years unemployed and the caravan park is in the hinterland so expensive fuel travelling around. It is pretty isolating…

How are you?

 

Thank you for replying to my post I really appreciate the support

Banksy92
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello R.Penn,

 

Firstly, I just want to say I am really happy for you that you have found a safe place to stay during this difficult time. It's great your sister was able to support you, and although not the ideal outcome it's a meaningful step.

 

I understand your struggles as I have experienced homelessness myself as well. It feels like a vicious cycle of bad luck because all of your energy needs to go into finding a safe place to live. It's near impossible to also then be job hunting or maintaining healthy relationships, as we have other basic human needs which need to come first. You are doing remarkably well in such a difficult time for many Australians.

 

What type of work would you be interested in doing, if you moved to melbourne or stayed where you are? Given it's been such a big step to get this caravan, perhaps it's worth sticking around for a while to ground yourself, save what you can and try to find some work locally? I know that's far easier said than done, mind you...

 

Keep up updated when you can.

R.Penn
Community Member

Thank you for your reply Banksy92 it means a lot when people respond and listen actively to my posts. 

I am sorry to hear you have experienced homelessness also and I hope it wasn’t for too long? Are you in a safe home now? Thank you for the encouragement, I almost gave up and started driving south to Melbourne again but would probably have the same problem there finding somewhere safe to live. 

 

I am an artist, but am at a stage where I just keep getting stuck in this loop of falling back into support work which isn’t a great fit for me as I realised how much it effected my mental health and I just want a job that i would be less anxious in. I still want to grow but have no idea where to go next. I feel stuck and can’t really afford study again and can’t make a decision on what pathway to take now. I think you are right to stay put for now and find my grounding. It’s not what I hoped for but it’s a shelter and its safe so far. Very quiet and mostly retired people live in the caravan park permanently. I know I have to keep my chin up some days I just feel so far away from being where I could be growing more… Melbourne is too cold for me now even though I love the city but its also a very highly strung city and I didn’t like the lock down laws there. More freedom up here in Qld. 

I need to find work so I can save money as well so I don’t end up homeless again… i just feel like I can’t do many jobs… I just get so stuck at home and isolated… it sort of adds to a feeling of agoraphobia I get 

 

I feel like I am lucky to have somewhere as there are so many homeless still and it’s getting worse I think for everyone… I just am trying not to panic I guess and do the next Jump move. Usually its been every 3-5 months I will move again and it got me into trouble.

Banksy92
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello R.Penn, it's good to hear from you again.

 

Yes I am now safely in housing, thank you. It took a lot of support from family to get myself out of the situation - which was hard as we had become really disconnected. Years on I am glad I reached out and asked, against all my pride at the time. My circumstances were linked to an unhealthy relationship, so getting out of that was the key factor... and while it was really difficult to admit I had made a huge mistake and needed help, ultimately it made a big difference to my life trajectory.

 

Have you been in contact much with your sister since she helped you secure the caravan? I hope you can both stay connected so you have some close support during this time. Particularly if you are feeling a little isolated out there. 

 

Is there an artist community around your area you might be able to connect with as well? Perhaps free classes, events or some other type of community meet ups where creatives like yourself can meet, explore ideas and network a little... I understand how difficult it can be to find meaningful work in the creative industries and often it's about who you know, so perhaps this would be a helpful step both professionally and for your wellbeing?

 

I think it's understandable you want to stick around the nice warm weather in QLD for a while, to stay grounded and work through what you need to start your next chapter. Are you still connecting with Lifeline for mental health support? 

 

Keep us updated when you can.