High anxiety over new job, not feeling centred

[Gellical_Cat]

Hi all,

Recently, I started a role in a company of about 20 people and my emotions are all over the place, mainly because I’m still learning the role at a snail’s pace and I’m super worried about what my colleagues think about me. They have jested a little and made a few jibes from the whispers I hear, and this normally would not bug me, but I’m feeling quite vulnerable at the moment as I’ve lost my centredness. The flux has led to wild inflections in my speech and moods, which hasn’t helped the situation. Is there any way to regain my wits about me?

[blondguy]

Hello Gellical Cat

Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the courage to post too!

I have worked in senior management for a long time and many people also feel the same as you do (me too) when starting a new role. Just a note about your colleagues...they were also new too and also are still concerned about what other staff and management say about them too 🙂

I also had the same concerns when I started working in a new position too...There will always be 'stirrers' Gellical Cat....yet its interesting how they are neglecting their own job responsibilities by doing so

You have been appointed to your role due to the qualities you possess that management have found beneficial!

Seems to be some people with way too much time on their hands Gellical Cat....Its their loss and not worthy of your attention.....That aside....If these silly people persist with being unhelpful to your new position I hope you can have a quiet chat to the person that wisely chose to hire you in the first place

I hope some of this has been helpful.....Any questions are always welcome 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul

[therising]

Hi GC

It would be great if, when we started a new job, we were taught one thing at a time but chances are we're given multiple tasks all at once and then surrounded by people who've manged to become skillful at mastering these tasks. It really does make for a challenging environment when the masters forget what it's like to be the apprentice. Some people have very short memories!

Personally, I was shockingly slow when I started in my job about a year and a half ago and I was seriously paranoid about it. I was constantly apologetic for it too. I was lucky to have very supportive people around me. In your case, I would suggest the issue is more so with the folk around you. Whilst they may have mastered skills in the job, they possibly haven't mastered the skills in what it takes to positively and constructively support people.

One step at a time. One mastered skill at a time. If you're a thoughtful sensitive person, the next employee who starts after you will be deeply grateful to have you on their side, from your perspective of understanding.

I'm sure you have mastered many of life's challenges, this is simply new territory. Personally, it took me about 6 months to begin really developing confidence in my abilities in my job. I look back at myself and my period of great trial with incredible compassion. It was a champion effort, as is yours I'm sure.

🙂

[Gellical_Cat]

Hi Paul,

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement, starting a new job with new responsibilities, processes and people can be daunting, and it’s good to remind myself of it 🙂

[Gellical_Cat]

Hi therising,

Thank you for your wise words 🙂 it’s quite important to be kind to myself given my new circumstances I feel, as its not everyday that you start a new job. I am generally ok at starting new roles, particularly if I’m trained in what to do and how I should do it, but some roles can be a slow burn and I think that’s the case here. It won’t be long before I’m on my feet, but in the meantime I’m going to be kind to myself and all new starters 🙂

[Nagoya]

Hi GC

I think we might have almost same situation in terms of new role in a new job. I had a change of industry so I had to literally start over again. I have to learn new jargons new system new everything and it is still very overwhelming.

The people at the office and my team are supportive and super nice, sometimes I worry about these type of people as they could come across as fake and you never know what they really think.

After a month in I have made couple of significant mistakes that I feel so awful about, i apologised about it and they said ppl make mistakes, that they hv done same system mistakes etc but ever since that it changed me completely. I kept thinking about it, I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t concentrate, super anxious at doing the job, triple guessing myself and so scared of making mistake again.

I honestly don’t know how to come back from this and to feel normal and confident again. Being in probation period doesn’t help too especially being the only person supporting family with income. Am I over reacting do you think?

thanks for your help

[Gellical_Cat]

Hi Nagoya,

I’m very sorry to hear that you feel that way, my immediate advice would be to stop thinking. Whenever you feel the thought come to the fore, disengage it.

Don’t play with it.

In my experience, the more you think those worrying thoughts and feel that way, the more likely you are to bring it to fruition, so it’s best to be blaze and nonchalant about it.

I know what I ask is not reasonable, particularly with the probation period and being the sole earner. It’s tough when there are expectations on you, but try and laugh at yourself, have fun with your mistakes 🙂 be kind and compassionate to yourself, and when those feelings arise, assure yourself it’s going to be ok, because it will. What’s the worst case scenario after all? Another job, as simple as that 🙂

[Nagoya]

Thank you for your reply, I have to train myself to do that because it doesn’t come to me naturally. I take such pride at what I do so mistakes like this, I take it as a failure and I feel embarrassed and ashamed that I’m making these stupid mistakes where everyone else is breezing through it. You’re right the worst thing that could happen is a new job and I’m already evaluating that if I feel this much emotion about a job, maybe I’m not cut out for the industry. Maybe I do need to look for a different job altogether. Life is too short after all but then again I also don’t want to give up. Thanks you!

[Gellical_Cat]

Glad to have provided some insight Nagoya. Please don’t take it as a failure or embarrassment but a learning experience. Doing those mistakes would ensure that you never do them again because you feel so bad for it. Remember, everyday is a new day, a chance to start over fresh, and a chance to feel a different way. Take advantage of that, and be kind to yourself and approach yourself with the love a parent would give their child for making an honest mistake.

Another reason you don’t want to focus on the guilt and embarrassment you attached to your mistakes is a myriad of other side effects that causes, like forgetfulness, lack of faith in yourself and reactivity to smaller stresses. Take a deep breath, meditate and let it go on the out breath. Only when you are calm you can do your job well.

All the best! 🙂

[Emtee]

Hi. I’m new here, and wondered if you were feeling more centred and less worried a few weeks later... if so, I’d be very happy to hear what helped. I’m about three months into a new job and am still not sleeping very well from worry. I think it has more to do with something not being right in my head rather than at and in my work. Funny how that thought doesn’t send the butterflies away. Anyway, I hope you are feeling in flux less and centred more, (and I liked the way you described that feeling.) better try to sleep before it is tomorrow.