Health anxiety - overwhelming

[Brightbee]

Hello, I’m new here but I have an old problem. I’ve had severe health anxiety for a number of years. I know what causes it - a build up of stress and internalising problems. It started after my dad passed away 10 years ago following untreatable cancer. It comes in waves - I can be fine for years and then something triggers me - work stress, reading something in the news etc. I am very creative and boy I can scare myself. It’s horrible being like this in front of my husband and children. I feel guilty and ashamed.
This is the worst I’ve been though and again is due to a lot of stress - my younger brother has pancreatic cancer and I’m very close to him. He’s doing well so far and is due to have a huge operation. I’m his main support so feel a big pressure to be up and happy around him too. I also lost my job a month ago so there’s been a lot of time for obsessing and googling.
I have risk factors for breast cancer and have a mammogram and infrasound today. I am a mess. Beyond a mess really. I’m taking my husband with me but want to know if anyone else has gotten through anything similar. If it’s a bad result, I think I will totally collapse

[Ggrand]

Hello Brightbee...

A very warm welcome to the forums..

We are sorry that your struggling so much with health anxiety....I think that would be very hard to manage..

I am sorry to hear about your brother and I wish him well with his surgery...and hope he heals the very best he can..

You are doing all the right thing by taking your husband with you for support while you’re getting your mammogram and ultrasound done...

I hope very much the news of the results will be good news..Try not to worry about the results until you receive them..I know that’s hard to do... Try as hard as you can to keep your mind distracted...when your mind travels into health anxiety...doing something that you like to do will keep your thoughts in the present..in the now...and on what you’re doing..

I am sure someone with more insight into health anxiety then I have will call in and chat to you...and help you through this hard time..

Please talk here anytime..we are listening and here for you..

Sending you my care and kind thoughts Brightbee..

Grandy..

[Birdy77]

Dear Brightbee,

You are so lucky to have the beautiful Grandy come by to welcome you here, a truly beautiful person 💕.

I can absolutely relate to your anxieties, and i don't really have any great solitions to be honest, but i know how terrifying the feelings can be, and sometimes just to knlw that you're not alone can help a little. I also am super creative with health anxiety and can concoct some pretty impressive stuff, depending on how stressed i am.

I can totally understand your reactions and worries about your brother, and the worries about your own health, especially with your experience losing your Dad. The fact that you have recently lost your job would just make the stress of everything that much worse, and extra googling time. You have had a lot going on and i am not surprised your anxiety has been triggered.

Feeling like you need to be "up" and happy around your brother as he approaches the time for his surgery will probably be putting a lot of strain on you as well. Are you able to talk through your worries with anyone, your husband or a friend? It can be a relief to let the steam off that pressure cooker of worries, and give you some breathing space, which you will need if you are to remain strong and supportive for your brother.

In the meantime, i hope you can hold yourself and all your worries with a whole lot of compassion ... acknowledge how hard and scary all of these issues are, and visualise giving yourself a big warm, gentle hug, knowing that you are dealing with these worries as best you can, including going for the mammogram today.

Let us know how you got on today if you feel up to it.

And know that you are not alone.

Thinking of you, and sending warm and caring vibes to you Brightbee.

birdy

[Gramsgirl59]

Hi Brightbee

I am exactly the same. I have an insane fear of Cancer which stems from my mother dying from it when I was a young teen. I am going through something now and will probably need a scan. It’s absolutely horrifying having tests then waiting for the results. I am exactly like you and don’t know how I would cope if I was indeed diagnosed

Its hell being trapped in your own head with these horrid thoughts and no one understands unless they have been through this themselves. I have a good doctor but my meds might need adjusting and I definitely need counselling yet again

I am 59 and have been battling for years. Like you it comes in waves usually when stress is high. I am a support for my elderly brother who is in a home but obviously still needs me. I also gave up work this year too due to an arthritic back

just know I see you. You are not alone in this hell and maybe we can all pull together and help each other