Health Anxiety is ruining my life

[AMMoverthinking]

I have always had anxiety. As a little kid I would have panic attacks if we drove across the Westgate Bridge certain it was going to break and we would plummet to our deaths. When their was a black out I was certain someone was going to break in and kills is etc.

After having my children my anxiety ramped up. I am constantly certain I have one health disease or another and I become fixated on it and really depressed. Once I go and get it checked and get the all clear I am fine for a little while until I start to fixate on something else. I’m currently convinced I have breast cancer. I didn’t sleep. I now can’t eat and have to go to work soon and pretend everything is okay when really I just want to curl up into a ball abs cry.

I finally got the courage to mention it to my doctor last year but be wasted me to see a psych. I also have social anxiety so speaking to a stranger opens a whole over can of worms for me.

my biggest fear stems from leaving my children and not getting to see the grow up. So when I’m like this even seeing my children will upset me.

I have a doctors apt this afternoon but my regular doctor was away so now I need to see a stranger 😬. Plus I know she’ll probably just want to send me for an ultrasound so that’s another day or so wait for that. I do already have dense breast tissue found the last time I was convinced I had breast cancer so my boobs already feel different so I can’t even calm myself down this time. I’m just so panicked today m.

[Heart1]

What kinds of things does the book suggest? Maybe I should give it a go...

Bad taste is gone, but now I can't stop peeing and I haven't even drunk any water today. Thats definitely my nervous system giving me a kick up the butt right?? And I am FREEZING COLD all the time.

You are so right - it would be comical to anyone else. But honestly, I do NOT go looking for this stuff. When I feel normal I feel AMAZING, so why on earth would I want to conjure up anything else...

I hope you are feeling ok at the moment anyway....x

[Trixie_A]

Hi everyone,

I’m new here and am finding all of your posts really supportive - Thank you for sharing.

Heath anxiety is something so real, exhausting and debilitating at the same time. I’m currently experiencing a few that I have a terminal illness, accompanied by the fear that I’m not going to see my daughter grow (she is 8 months). I had my first panic attack over the weekend - Hot flush, tingling in my arms and numbness on the left side of my face - CT and blood tests came back all ok. Over the last days, when stressed, I feel a little loss of sensation and what feels like weakness in the corner of my mouth, which of course fuels the fear and visions cycle of anxiety and worry.

Has anyone experiences these symptoms?

Thanks again everyone for sharing.

[Meg_611]

How is everyone on this thread going?

[AMMoverthinking]

Hi,

I feel like I’m doing okay but I’ve been having chronic headaches which I think may be migraines.

Throbbing in my temples, sinus pain, runny nose, jaw pain, fatigue and my right eye feels funny.

I feel like I’m not anxious and the book I mentioned above was really helpful but I know I am due to the cycle.

I know I am stressed out of my tree though. I’m at a new school I hate, leading a team that does their own thing, now teaching from home and trying to manage the education of my own children all of that on top of being immunocompromised so I haven’t left my house in goodness knows how long and my normal anxiety.

Beyond that I feel like I am doing okay. Just need to work these headaches out.

I hope everyone else here is doing well.

Oh and my mum mentioned to me the other day she was exactly the same when my siblings and I were little. She’d never told me that before.

[AMMoverthinking]

Ah! I was doing okay until last night after scrolling through Facebook I say a Greys Anatomy clip where a chick had xyz symptoms ans they figured it was pancreatic cancer m so my brain instantly has that.

So here is me rationalising it. I do have a pain that comes and goes in my upper abdomen but I have had it on and off for around 10 years now. I have has at least 2 ultrasounds on it.

I do have a rash on my hand and my feet are a bit weird at the moment but my doctor said my toes where chilblains. My hands weren’t red yet so he didn’t check but I think these are chilblains too.

I do get nauseous and diarrhoea but I’m pretty sure these are linked to my RA meds and anxiety.

honestly I hate health anxiety.

Whilst my partner is supportive he just doesn’t get it. He just says things ‘like you don’t have xyz’ to which I always think ... ‘but I might’ or he’ll say ‘stop googling’ which we all know we should but it’s so hard to stop.

thanks for listening

[Heart1]

Hello! Just thought I would share my progress with you guys - its a long read but I hope it gives some hope. I was in a super bad place when I was posting to this thread a while back. Certain my heart was giving out because even though I am (was - have been too scared to exercise) really fit my resting pulse was high and I would get some stupid readings just getting up and walking across the room. Long story short, I had a raft of tests and a session with a cardiologist and he explained that my heart was just like a Ferrari - doesn't take much on the accelerator to kick it off - but for me this is ok and all is normal. I waltzed home on top of the world - thinking all my issues were solved - and was rudely hit with the WORST bout of insomnia I have ever known (and I have had 3 babies). Four nights in a row of less than 2 hours and I ended up having a full blown meltdown at the office - ambulance in attendance. It was like I was catatonic - a panic attack on steroids. The GP finally prescribed me a "z" drug just to get my eyes closed, but the hunt for the reason for the insomnia opened my eyes to how ridiculously powerful my mind is over everything. Even (especially) my common sense. In desperation I went to the naturopath to get my hormones tested - at my age its not a bad idea so no harm I thought. And what I saw in the results was incredible. My cortisol levels were through the roof. The graph stopped and my dot was about 2cm past the finish - literally off the chart. My body is in fight mode 100% of the time and my poor adrenals are shot to pieces - and that is linked to every single symptom I have - nausea, bad taste in mouth, dry mouth, anxiety, panic, racing heart, sleeplessness - the list goes on. And even though that is really bad and needs to be fixed - all of a sudden I have this one root cause to focus on and it honestly feels like the weight of the world is gone. Last night I had my first unassisted sleep in weeks. It wasn't fantastic - still woke multiple times, but it is a definite improvement. As my confidence that I am tackling this head on grows, the other symptoms are dropping like flies. Because they are not really there. Even though they feel as real as the day is long. My mind has NOT been my friend recently. But we are trying to make up - and so far she has been toeing the line and I can only hope that continues. So please don't give up hope you can break the cycle...we can do this xxxx

[toomuchthinking]

I google as well and find it hard to stop , I have a small light pink patch on my breast and its sore, however my period is due tomorrow and now im panicked and can't eat and can't function , I hate anxiety its shit !

[DresdenShuffle]

I'm the same. I have GAD so I worry and get anxiety over everything, it's so much worse now though with this pandemic. It's gotten to the point where I can't even say the C word anymore without having anxiety. I turn the news over when anything about it comes on and if I have a slight twinge in my body or I have a headache from tension I google it and just freak out thinking I'm sick or dying. I was never like this before, my mental health was my priority but I never freaked out over headaches or the like, now it's a fixation and my life is horrible because of it. They recommend go to a doctor but I'm terrified to go outside because of the pandemic and because I'm terrified of what my gp might tell me. It's a vicious cycle of panic and worry.