Health Anxiety is ruining my life

AMMoverthinking · ‎21-02-2019

I have always had anxiety. As a little kid I would have panic attacks if we drove across the Westgate Bridge certain it was going to break and we would plummet to our deaths. When their was a black out I was certain someone was going to break in and kills is etc.

After having my children my anxiety ramped up. I am constantly certain I have one health disease or another and I become fixated on it and really depressed. Once I go and get it checked and get the all clear I am fine for a little while until I start to fixate on something else. I’m currently convinced I have breast cancer. I didn’t sleep. I now can’t eat and have to go to work soon and pretend everything is okay when really I just want to curl up into a ball abs cry.

I finally got the courage to mention it to my doctor last year but be wasted me to see a psych. I also have social anxiety so speaking to a stranger opens a whole over can of worms for me.

my biggest fear stems from leaving my children and not getting to see the grow up. So when I’m like this even seeing my children will upset me.

I have a doctors apt this afternoon but my regular doctor was away so now I need to see a stranger 😬. Plus I know she’ll probably just want to send me for an ultrasound so that’s another day or so wait for that. I do already have dense breast tissue found the last time I was convinced I had breast cancer so my boobs already feel different so I can’t even calm myself down this time. I’m just so panicked today m.

baet123 · ‎21-02-2019

Hey AMMoverthinking,

Awesome name by the way!

Welcome to the forums and thank you so much for posting and sharing your situation with us. This is an extremely difficult and challenging step to take and shows you have a strong desire to improve your condition. Posting and allowing people to understand you and what your going through shows extreme courage, resilience, strength and persistence and for that you should be extremely proud. You have been through a great deal and you are an inspiration.

Health anxiety is absolutely a hard condition to live and deal with and I suffered from health anxiety for five to six years so I can relate to much of what you are going through. I was a hypochondriac and had a big problem with typing all of my "symptoms" in search engines and the like. In regards to symptoms or concerns you have about possible conditions, it always made me feel better to talk about these genuine concerns with your GP or psychologist and possibly having tests done to rule out conditions which is really important for peace of mind.

It is really hard to speak to a stranger and this is a daunting experience but doing so will make you feel so so so much better. Small steps, remember that! Always remember that your health professionals are there to assist you and want to improve your condition.

It is extremely encouraging that you are actively seeking treatment and your desire to improve your condition and get better is absolutely apparent. Things will get better and the road ahead will have a few bumps, but, prolonged and sustained periods of therapy sessions in combination with regular checkups with your GP is the way to go. I would also discuss with your GP whether medication is suitable to your situation. In most cases prolonged periods of therapy in combination with medication often yields the most success.

Look forward to hearing how you go this afternoon. Remember, you are seeing a new doctor today and they might seem like a "stranger" but believe me when I say that they want the best for you and try and express yourself and your feelings as much as your comfortable doing so.

All the best,

Nick.

Ash81 · ‎24-02-2019

I could have wrote your post myself! I am currently convinced I have. Breast cancer also! Any type of cancer is my health anxiety. I freak out over a bruise, a headache anything! I actually had an ultrasound last September and all was good thank god but lately I’ve had itchy breasts and that straightaway brang me back to where I was.

Am going to see my dr on Wednesday and make an appt with the psych again tomorrow. The thoughts keep creeping in like what if it is cancer and it sprouted up after the last ultrasound. Called up nurse on call and she’s like oh go and see a dr in 1-3 days promise me that! I’m like omg she just made it ten times worse!

I need constant reassurance!

Have you seen a gp or a psychologist? I can say the only thing that helps me is seeing a good result even though it’s absolutely terrifying to go get them done. I was literally shaking and crying when I did mine.

Please reach out on here; just knowing others go through the same thing seems to help somewhat.

AMMoverthinking · ‎25-02-2019

I went to a doctor that night. All day I was texting hubby that I was going to cancel. I didn’t eat all day. Couldn’t focus at work and barely slept the night before. The doctor was lovely. I was the last patient for the day and I realised when I left that she ja shone 30 minutes over time. She checked my breast and said they were absolutely fine. She recommended that there was no need for an ultrasound but that if I was adamant to have one she would give me one. She was afraid it would make me worse because that would mean more waiting. I don’t want one. She of course then wanted to address me anxiety and I was ready to somewhat deal with it. I flat out said that I won’t go and see a psychologist at this stage. I also have social anxiety so the idea of talking to a stranger terrifies me. I spoke to me normal GP about my health anxiety a year ago and his solution was to give me a referral to a psychologist. It is still sitting in the boot of my car. I can’t bring myself to use it. Now I’m sure some of you might not agree but together we decided on medication. A very Löw dose and only enough for a month. I’m then to go back and see her or my normal GP. The plan is to see if the meds help to also ease the fear of going to speak to someone else. I can confidently say she wasn’t just willy nilly writing a prescription. I’ve also since started back doing my yoga, meditation and fitness. Think it’s time I focus on myself a little.

Ash81 · ‎26-02-2019

Hi,

im so glad the dr checked ur breasts and said they are fine. I went to a Chiro who said my breast pain could be from my back/shoulder coming to the front. She adjusted it and said it should be better soon. What made you think you had BC this time? A gp I saw checked mine even though I have no lump/s im still scared of the other BC that comes without lumps and is worse. She said they were fine and that I don’t need a scan. I have my normal gp appt today who has known me for a long time and knows what I’m like. I’m sure she will say it’s nothing and send me on my way.. I’m also scared to ask for a scan because of the result! My psych said not to go to the dr again n not to ask for any scans anymore unless the DR RECCOMMENDS it... I’m struggling with this. I have slight breast pain in my left breast like a dull ache that goes n comes. I hope I can get over this quickly but I’m afraid I won’t without a scan n then that starts the merry go round again. I have a wonderful husband and 4 beautiful children who need me.

baet123 · ‎07-03-2019

Hey AMM,

Sorry for the late reply. Have been really unwell the last few weeks with the flu. I am glad that you felt that the doctor was lovely and that she said "everything was fine". When a doctor provides you with a sense of reassurance, this is a wonderful feeling.

I know that speaking to a stranger is difficult and this is the case for many others too! However, you are speaking to us on these forums and that is a great step in the right direction. I believe seeing a psychologist would be an excellent idea as long as you are comfortable doing so. If you are not that is perfectly fine but I believe giving it a go and maybe even booking an appointment and seeing how you feel on that day is a big thing for you.

Good on you for deciding to take medication. I can tell that you are trying to improve your condition and that is incredible. You are taking steps in the right direction and it is inspiring. It is amazing and paramount that you continue progressing and taking care of yourself physically and emotionally through the yoga, fitness, meditation, diet and the like. Focus on yourself. You are worth it and you deserve it!

Please keep us updated.

All the best,

Nick.

AMMoverthinking · ‎25-05-2020

Here I am again after a break. I try to stay off the boards as I find it can make me worse sometimes. Whilst my health anxiety never goes away I was doing pretty well But...of course as it does it’s back with vengeance

Last week I got my period early and my breasts were hurting a lot so I convinced myself I had breast cancer and ovarian cancer. Couldn’t really calm down. I’m constantly hot and cold. Starting this weekend I’ve had numbness and tingling in my arms and legs and I’ve convinced myself I have MS. I actually can’t call myself. I’ve not cooked for my family in a week (something I normally enjoy doing) right now my hands are sweaty and arms and legs are tingly. My husband took the kids out and I can’t stop googling. Trying to tell myself it’s just stress and anxiety effects on my body but I can’t stop thinking it’s MS.

AMMoverthinking · ‎26-05-2020

Really struggling to calm myself. Last night I woke up with one of my arms tingling really badly with pins and needs so of course that gets me obsessing a it’s MS. This morning I wasn’t doing too badly.

I’m teaching from home despite my students being back due to me being immunocompromised. The session went really badly. Suddenly my arms and legs started feeling freezing cold, numb but also thingy. Again I convinced myself it’s MS or MND. I start feeling freezing cold. I find myself searching these boards in hope I’d see other people have had a similar Experiences but amongst the good I also find some comments Of people getting diagnosed with something and I obsess again. I feel nauseous and I’m struggling to work. My hands are clammy.

It’s been happening for days. 😔

Marto9014 · ‎26-05-2020

Hey AMM

Sorry to hear this is how you are feeling. If it gives you any comfort, I have been battling the same thoughts re MS. I have had everything from pins n needles to weakness in various lims, to waking up with a numb thigh that I'm sleeping on. Have seen a GP and awaiting to see a Neurologist, but in the meantime trying to work on my anxiety. Its hard not to assume the worst, but what you have to rememeber is that its incredibly rare for it to be something really nasty! The body works in mysterious ways.

Hope you are able to find some comfort soon.

Cheers

AMMoverthinking · ‎29-05-2020

Hi Marto,

Thanks for replying. Honestly I’m Having such a bad time at the moment. I just can’t shake it. I don’t think I’ve ever had an episode last this long.

I can pin point all the stress that could have kicked it off but since then I just seem to be spiralling out of control.

my symptoms and worries just keep changing.

I had numbness and tingling, tensions and pain and shaking.

now I still have the shaking but I am having really bad headaches and phantom smells of smoke. Of course I googled it because...that’s what we do 🤦‍♀️ So now I’m convinced I’m about to have a stroke or a brain tumour or even MS still.

I saw my doctor yesterday and my bloods came back fine. I mentioned the numbness and tingly and he said it could be anxiety. He didn’t want to do anything until we got my other tests back. But now I have the headache and the smell so I’m freaking out all over again. And I’m just so fatigued.

finding it all just so hard at the moment.

I hope you’re doing okay.