Having a lot of trouble sleeping

[sapphirerain]

Hey guys,

This is my first post here. I've been dealing with anxiety for about four years now, though I currently see a great therapist every few weeks who helps me. I also take medication when I feel I need it, which has been an absolute life saver for me.

Over the past few weeks, however, my sleep has been poor. It takes me ages to fall asleep and I often wake up far too early without an alarm (4:30, 5, 6AM etc). Even if I go to bed late, I'll still wake up extremely early. This has been making me feel tired, irritated and sluggish during the day. When I go to bed, I feel like my thoughts are racing and rushing around in my mind and I toss and turn. I think about everything from the past, the present and future. I do try to breathe deeply and I even try to meditate, but nothing works.

A few things have been on my mind, I guess. The first is that I begin a new job next week. I'll be with the same company I've been with for several years, but I'm getting re-located and will be at a new store with a different team of people. I have the exact same job, but I'll have to interact and get to know many new people. It was a hard decision to make the move, but my heart tells me it was the best choice, as the new store is five minutes from my house (as opposed to 45-50 minutes in heavy traffic).

Secondly, I've been holding in my feelings for someone I've liked for a very long time. Her and I have worked together for several years (at the company above) and are of similar age, but because she was my manager I couldn't express my feelings. Though, we've recently been out together a few times - to lunch, and the movies (which has gone very well). I should mention we're both gay. Something tells me she might feel the same way, though I'm not 100% sure. As I've just left the store, we won't be working together anymore, meaning that I suppose I can now tell her I like her. I don't know why this is causing me so much worry or why I can't stop thinking about it. I guess part of me is a little afraid it won't work out.

Anyway, thank you for reading. If anyone has any advice on how to reduce worrying before bed and improve sleep, it would be greatly appreciated. I'll be sure to bring it up with my therapist in our next session.

[Croix]

Dear Sapphirerain~

Welcome. I guess there would be al awful lot of people here that have, or had, sleep problems. You sound as if you have your anxiety condition in hand, a great thing.

From reading your account of a busy event-filled life I can't say that I'm surprised you have trouble getting to sleep at the moment. A change of job in a new environment is a pretty big upheaval by itself, however you have the prospect of trying to start a new relationship too.

Either of those would be enough to ruin my sleep. I can tell you some things beyondblue recommends relating to healthy sleep, but I suspect until matters settle down you are going to have troubles.

The publication below (pages 7 & 😎 sets out helpful procedures

http://resources.beyondblue.org.au/prism/file?token=BL/1178

In addition if overly stressed I'd suggest using an app I've found useful called Smiling Mind, which is free for your smartphone. It helps me break chains of thought and end in a more relaxed place. It does take practice though.

I can't really add more from my own experience so I'll wish you the best with the new position and hope you are able to establish a successful relationship.

Please feel free to post and talk as often as you'd like

Croix

[MarkJT]

Sapphirerain, after showing the signs and symptoms of PTSD for a decade, I ended up having horrible sleep patterns. Once I was over the fear of sleeping (as was having nightmares), I have found the following really effective for me.

When I go to bed, I think of three things that went right for me that day. I re-live them and explore them. This is me relaxing my brain. Just about every night my brain will run off in all different directions but i always just acknowledge that my train of thought has run off and then bring it back to the moment i am in.

I then go to my one real specific happy place which for me was watching the Seattle Seahawks (American football) in Seattle. A dream trip and I relive the whole time i was at that game.

I find most nights i fall asleep either during the three good things that happened that day or being in Seattle.

Give that a go and see how it goes but it did take me some time before i really did well with it so you may need to persist with it.

In regards to the girl that you like, I would hate for you to wake up in five years time and think, gee I wish i had of asked her out. My thoughts on this one is, ask her out. We all get nervous as all hell asking people out for the first time so remember that this is normal.

It is great that you have found the forums and I hope that you post again.

Mark.

[Jessicatherese94]

Hi Sapphirerain,

I used to have lots of trouble sleeping as well. Is there anything you found comforting as a kid that could help you now? Like maybe warm milk, a blanket etc? It sounds silly but that helped me a lot. Sometimes I lie in bed and keep replaying over and over a moment or period in my life when things were really great and I felt happy and that makes me fall asleep too. It's funny with anxiety that so often what we think may happen never happens, or at least isn't as bad as we think it will be. Sometimes before something stressful I acknowledge the anxiety is there by saying "I know I feel anxious right now, but I'm still going to do whatever it is I need to do" (the app Booster Buddy has a lot of really amazing tips to deal with anxiety too and I strongly suggest you download it.) And how amazing that you have feelings for someone and that it seems to be going well. Go get her.