Guilt and Anxiety

[Arden]

Hi,

I find it really hard to explain myself but I am going to try. Earlier in the year I chose to leave a part time job that i hated to go traveling. Now that i have returned I have gotten a casual job. Every day I have the guilty feelings that I made the wrong decision in leaving my job. I feel guilty every time I get called up to work and can't go in. I always show up for my rostered hours and accept extended shifts. The job in itself makes me uneasy and when they call up for last minute shifts I panic and make up excuses. I then spend the next two day feeling guilty and worried and anxious and thinking that I should have just gone in to avoid this feeling. I get these feelings even when I have an actual reason to not go in. And then it ruins my day anyway from feeling like I've done the wrong thing.

The guilty feeling isn't just for work related feelings. It's things like choosing to stay home instead of going out, going out instead of staying hime, picking one event over another, disappointing friends etc etc etc. It's everything. Over eating, not saying enough, saying too much, saying the wrong thing. I just can't seem to not feel guilty.

Does anybody have an advice on how I can control these feelings?

[Croix]

Dear Arden~

I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum.

After reading your post the thing that strikes me as you may have two problems.

The first is employment, you said yourself in relation to your original part time job that you hated it, and now feel uneasy about the second.

So leaving that first job may have been a blessing in disguise. True one has to eat, but there is always the chance of something that you actually enjoy and look forward to each day. I'd expect your dislike of the job was one of the things that made going overseas more attractive.

Do you think there is any chance you can change jobs - or areas within your job - so you feel enthusiastic about work?

Now the other thing - you call it guilt, I would call it anxiety. And from the sound of it is starting to spread out and take over your life, with quite normal things becoming the subject of excessive worry.

May I ask if you have been to your doctor and been diagnosed with a condition such as this? I made the mistake of leaving things too long, and as a result was much harder to treat.

I hope to talk with you some more

Croix