Grieving loss of job and being out of comfort zone

[kned]

I recently resigned from my job, one I had been in for many many years.

I am grieving the loss of my job even though the decision to leave was a good one (a completely different story).My family and best friend all think I made the best decision to leave. But I still can't help but grieve what I used to have. I had committed so many years to the job and I knew it so well.

It seems that I am a creature of comfort. I stay where I am comfortable, so the idea of now finding another job is extremely scary!

I am worried that the opportunities in my field are going to be very few and far between. I also think of changing careers or training but I have no idea what I could do.

I guess I just feel that now I dont know what to do. I always had a focus. The job was a huge part of my identity.

Is this something that will pass? How do I find my purpose again? How do I accept change?

I just feel so low and so confused with what to do. I suffer anxiety so this uncertainty and worry is definitely not helping my anxiety!

[blondguy]

Hi Kned

I think we have spoken before about what you have been going through.

You are an amazing person to have the strength to resign as your health is paramount here not your job.

I wasnt as smart as you are by resigning. I stayed in my job until my anxiety became worse..then I resigned.

It will pass...and your sense of purpose is still there....its just clouded by the anxiety symptoms at the moment.

Feeling confused and overwhelmed is a absolutely normal reaction after resigning (or being sacked)

I am more than certain that you have more strength than you give yourself credit for. Even posting on a national forum like you have been doing requires more strength than I had when I was made redundant in Jan last year.

I had anxiety....when I was 23 for 13 years. I thought I was being strong for working through it. I was wrong.

You have placed your health as a priority....that in itself is a sign of true inner strength Kned

I still see my GP for a 'fine tune' regularly. Maybe it may be a good idea to book a double appointment and have a really good vent. They have better training re anxiety than even 10 years ago.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by making that appointment. You will feel better Kned

I am a ex senior manager with HR background and still have left over anxiety. You are more than welcome to post back....even if you just want a chat 🙂

I admire your strength and attitude

Paul

[kned]

Thank you so much for your reply Paul.

Yes you did respond to my other post!

I ended up resigning as wasn't happy with the way management were ignoring me. I then made contact with the CEO (after resigning) who said I was completely in the right! That he was going to follow it up with my direct manager and take it as a lesson learnt. It doesnt give me my job back though it does help me feel satisfied that leaving was the best choice - for myself and my health.

I think you are right, I do need to give it time and to not expect to get over it quickly (if at all).

[kned]

Ps. I am sorry that you went through this as well and that you didn't get out of there sooner. But you did in the end and I hope that now you are on a better path!

[kanga_brumby]

kned it's normal to have grief when you have finished a job. Especially if you have had it for a long time, it's a career. I had to leave my last full time job 19 years ago due to ill health and personal reasons. I rely enjoyed that job. But my health had to come first. Had I stayed my health would be worse than it is now. Right now it's getting better, but still not to good.

I don't know which type of work you did. But a change can be as good as a holiday and totally revitalize you. Hoping it all comes together for you. Best wishes for your future.

Kanga

[blondguy]

Hey Kned

I knew we had a gas bag before 🙂

This feeling of resigning even with your upline manager agreeing with you is still a crappy set of feelings

I understand its easy for me to say but this will become a memory...sure not now...but it will

I joined the forums as I was super down after being made redundant in January last year.

If I may quote something you just posted that makes you a legend......yes...seriously..

Kned posted " It doesnt give me my job back though it does help me feel satisfied that leaving was the best choice - for myself and my health."

I really hope you can try to be proud of yourself.....even just a tiny bit....by being as strong and proactive as you are. You are always welcome here Kned. I really hope you can stick around the forums..if you wish to of course 🙂

My Kindest thoughts

Paul

[kned]

Thanks Kanga, you are right, a change may be good and I need to try look at the positives. I think I probably need to let myself grieve as well and then pick myself up and move on! I have silly expectations of myself to get over it and find a job tomorrow!

[kned]

Thanks Paul, I have found even just looking through these forums so helpful! I definitely will be sticking around.

[blondguy]

Thats really good to hear Kned that youll be sticking around 🙂

Its always really nice to read your kind thoughts about the forums too

My Best for you

Paul