Hi Marilyn,
Thanks for sharing your story. Clearly keeping this from your ex is causing you intense grief, stress, and anxiety. This is not an uncommon physical response to withholding emotional energy. It has to manifest somehow, it doesn't just disappear on its own.
My advice would be to reconcile this with yourself asap. In your position, I would not want to take this pent-up anxiety into my wedding day. I would want to deal with it first. You can't possibly enjoy your special day to the fullest if you have this sitting on your shoulders.
Others may feel differently: get the wedding done first then deal with it. If you want to take this path, no worries. Personally I would rather deal with it and go into my wedding with no emotional baggage hanging over me, a fresh start.
At the end of the day, what is the worst your ex can do? Get upset? Cry? Get angry? Make threats? I have no idea what type of person he is or isn't, but at the end of the day this is your life and you have the right to go on with it as you see fit. So, just be honest with him and tell him what you are doing in 12 days. You will still be the same mother that you were the past 2 years, have the same responsibilities toward your child etc. None of this changes.
Often times, the worry we develop over these situations is much, much worse than the actual event itself. You may want to speak with someone close to you about it first, or a counselor. WHatever you feel most comfortable with.
Good luck to you and congratulations, wishing you all the best.
Steve
