Getting a Job with Social Anxiety

[Guest_4513]

I'm 20 with mild social anxiety and I’ve never had a job before.

At the moment I'm not working, I'm not studying, I don't have friends, therefore I don't leave my house ever. I sold my car because I actually didn't have anywhere to go and now I don't have the confidence to drive.

Conclusion: I need a job

My biggest problem seems to be avoidance. I've seen a psychiatrist and a psychologist who've both suggested I get a job but here's the thing: I'm scared. I’m really, really, really scared. I’m scared of where do I even start? How do I even apply? I’m scared of what do I say if I get a call back? I’m scared of getting an interview. How will I be judged? Why would anybody want me? I feel like anyone who decides to hire me would be making a mistake. I can only bring a company down with my lack of skill. I’m slow, I’m not hard working. I’m scared of working and seeing people I know from school. I’m scared that the people that I’ll be working with won’t like me and will probably trash talk behind my back. I'm scared that because I'm so shy, I literally can't make conversation with people. I’m scared of having dissatisfied, angry customers yelling at me. I will definitely cry.

[demonblaster]

Hi and welcome

Ahhh how awful for you

You mentioned that you've seen a psychologist and they've said you need a job, what I'm wondering is do they know these concerns the fears you have because I'd think these issues would be a priority before gaining employment.

I believe we all (well most anyway) have an abundance of good points. What can be hard when as you are and I do understand that moreso when I was younger but still bit now is to look inside and see our good points. What depression I don't know if that's what you have too? Does is solely only lets us think of our self worth. That's us believing our thoughts.

Next time you have a negative down about yourself I suggest challenge the thought don't allow emotion in as to how it makes you feel but why did that thought come...is it true..do I need to work on it or is it a rubbish thought if so let it pass.

Anxiety can be controlled dont know if you've heard of these couple of I'm hearing good ph apos for meditation called Insight timer and Smiling minds

Don 't know if exercise appeals to you which can be done at home helps burn off stress thats a huge plus for a busy downing mind

I hope if you want to talk more to see you again

Thank you for sharing you did well ☺

[Croix]

Dear S

DB has given you some excellent ideas, I'm glad you are here to read them.

Having anxiety is something that can shape our lives and cut our horizons down to a house, or even a room. It is a terrible way to live. I can relate.

I'm not sure your conclusion is quite right. True you need a job but you need other things too. You have a start already in seeing your psychiatrist and a psychologist, getting at the basic illness is of course what has to happen. Hopefully you have a full regime (maybe meds, maybe therapy) and it is ongoing. If not now would be the time to go back and talk it over.

That is part of it. Dealing with your anxiety on a day to day basis is just as important. Lifestyle with exercise, nutrition and as good a sleep as you can manage is needed,. So is avoiding unnecessary things, people, situations, movies etc that raise anxiety, it is only sensible. As just one small example I don't listen to the news.

DB has mentioned a couple of apps that can help, I use Smiling Mind myself, and it does work to stop the mind going around and around full of unhappy thoughts. Exercise too at the time helps as does distraction.

Actually distraction and doing things one enjoys every day is most important. It takes the mind away from the horrible things in life for a little and gives you something to look forward to when getting up. I use movies, books, pets, walking with my partner and other things too. Have a look at this thread:-

Forums / Anxiety / SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

Where lots of people share what helps.

With a job, you are right, getting one is stressful and there is a lot of waiting (something I'm very bad at) and often disappointments too. Can I suggest a sort of half-way? Would you consider volunteering for a while? There are as many different positions as you can imagine, from helping with collections in museums to feeding animals in a zoo. Normally it is easier to get a place, your are appreciated and the work interesting. Plus it makes getting a paid job later on easier.

Having a job or a mission makes it more comfortable when interacting with people. As for why someone should want you - you are literate, sensible and sensitive. I'm sure you are going to be pleasantly surprised.

Please say how you are getting on, we would like to know

Croix