Gday everyone this is my anxiety

[Goose93]

Gday everyone!

Ive always been an anxious/no self confidence person. Ive done a course of anti depressants a couple years ago.

I went through a horrible relationship getting cheated on by an 23yo woman when i was 17/18 inwhich she ended up having a kid that wasnt mine (thank god) but she stuck around and led me on. Because of that i went of the rails. I started smoking, drinking heavily and gambling everything i had. Icut ties with my family at that point. I put on so much weight which cooked what little confidence i had.

I tried to move myself away from the problem and pursued my dream of being a pilot. I finished my studies and am now qualified but the timing was horrible and i didnt end up getting a job. I ran out of money and reached out to my family who brought me home in a heartbeat.

Started work at a petrol station and ticked off another bucket list activity of travelling europe.

I woke up a few days later and decided enough was enough. From that day i dropped the smokes, gambling, antidepressants and lost 35kg in weight.

I felt a clean slate.

I started a business windowcleaning on the side of my other job.

I then had a woman walk into my life which was the first woman since the last relationship.

I love her to bits butapparently she treats me horrible according to her famiky and my friends. Stuff gets to me occasionally but I understand she has been through her own trouble.

I know deep down she is a nurturing loving soul but she has a rough outer shell. She encouraged me to move in with her after 3 months and she is so easy to live with we have lived together over a year and she is starting to push marriage.

I constantly fear though that she is cheating on my even though all she ever wants is to be around me. To make matters worse i have horrible health anxiety.

Ive had my head scanned for brain tumors that obviously arent there. I had a pain in my right testicle and thought the worst. Ct scan showed nothing and all pain gone the next few days.

Company offered me a full time job. I took it. As soon as i did the other window cleaner left town so ive copped everything. I work 60+ hour weeks while worrying about health and relationship problems.

Huge panick attacks in the past and am getting them again. After getting them i feel tired for weeks on end. Ive been to 5 different doctors and all have told me anxiety.

Struggling with the lack of support from gf and severe health anxiety.

Thanks for reading.

[stormcloudz]

Hi Goose

Anxiety sounds like such a small thing doesn't it? "Oh, I'm a bit anxious about the weather today". But your post explains it perfectly - it affects everything.

It's so great that you have achieved so much - travel, study, being a pilot, digging yourself out of a gambling issue, a business. Amazing.

Are the doctors suggesting any treatment for the anxiety, and if so, what are your thoughts on that?

Things with your girlfriend sound complicated - you mention your friends have concerns, and she isn't providing support. Does she know about your anxiety? Have you explained what support you need?

Panic attacks are debilitating, so I think you are doing a fantastic job with everything.

Post again and let us know how you are going : )

[PamelaR]

Hi Goose

Stormcloudz (hello there!) has provided some really good advice. I don't have much more to add.

Just wanted to welcome you to Beyond Blue (BB0 forums. You'll find the people here are friendly, caring, supportive, respectful of privacy and non judgmental. While we're not counsellors or therapists, we have all had experience with mental illness and share our experiences to help people move on in their lives.

Have any of the doctors suggested seeing some, e.g. a psychologist or psychiatrist to help with the anxiety? Maybe you could ask them to refer you? Also, do a google search for -

health anxiety - Beyond Blue

Please post again to let us know how you get on.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Goose93]

Thankyou dearly for the responses. Even just getting it off my chest felt good.

Its horrible having the episodes of panic attacks and then feeling tired and lethargic round the clock for weeks after.

The physical symptoms can send you into a spiral its horrible.

Ive been to heaps of different doctors and they all tell me the same thing. I dont know how to talk myself out of it.

I always am searching now for anything that doesnt feel right on my body or looking at moles thinking theres gonna be a bad one and all that just because i saw an ad on tv.

I had some family friend talk about a brain tumor and then bam. Constantly thinking that i have that.

I havent worked out a coping strategy apart from going to the doctors all the time but thats why ive joined this website.

I hope i can put this behind me and help others because no one deserves to feel like this.

[blondguy]

Hi Goose

Good on you for posting on the forums....It takes courage!

I understand what you are going through as my first mega anxiety attack happened when I was 23 and it was awful...I had no idea what was happening. Heart attack feelings....mega health anxiety worries

You will feel lethargic/fatigued after a having even one anxiety attack...I dont blame you as your adrenaline is pumping way too much after going through what you have

When we have experienced panic attacks its our system letting us know that we are 'oversensitised' due to having way too much on our plate..

At the risk of sounding 'boring' ......having one GP (that understands mental health) that is supportive is a huge step forward....Having super frequent counseling will provide you with the peace of mind you have been searching for. I was a dill and only had counseling every six months....it never really worked

Weekly/fortnightly or even monthly appointments will help you big time...

Just out of respect to you Goose...this is my 22nd year on low dose antidepressants.....They gave me my life back

I really hope you can stick around the forums Goose...As you mentioned....'no one has to live like this'

My kind thoughts

Paul

[stormcloudz]

Goose

Really glad you were able to get some stuff off your chest.

I agree, the physical effects of anxiety can be very debilitating. It's really a big part of anxiety - the exhaustion, brain fog, tremors, etc.

You mention helping others - that would be so great, as it really takes someone who has been through the experience to understand. In fact, just posting on the board and talking about your experiences is really helpful to others. I've learnt so much from hearing about other people's situations, whether they are posting from the middle of the maelstrom or are in a much calmer place. So thank you for helping us already Goose.

You mentioned coping strategies, so just FYI, there is an inexpensive health anxiety course on This Way Up (google and you'll find it - organised by St Vincent Hospital). I have not tried it, but you could chat to your GP about whether it might suit you.