G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

[Hypersleep]

Where to begin. I guess I'll just start with my condition that made me sign up here today. I've been having trouble eating. For about a month now. Now, this isn't the 1st time this has happened to me, infact it's the 4th by my count, the 1st event like this being what lead me to being diagnosed with Anxiety.

So it's a very mixed feeling, knowing that I've beaten this before, certainly under worse conditions (Cyclone Marcia in '15 left us without power for about a week, that absolutely shattered me but again, I made it and I'm here still.) From what I can tell what set me off this time was losing our phone line and internet for a few days when I was already feeling a bit down. So that happened about a month ago, only lasted a few days but by the time I could get back to my regular distractions and habits for dealing with my anxiety I was already quite severe. No appetite, upset that after going so long (about a year and a half of being on the 'offensive', so to say, with my anxiety) to learn that I can still arbitrarily be brought down to what I consider my worst really hurts. I kept a journal last time I was this bad though, and I am updating it daily again. I find it helps. Sorry if I'm veering all over the place here, I'll get to the core of my post now.

Basically each day I wake up awash with dread. I'll be lying in bed calmly but as soon as my brain acknowledges that I need to get up I start to feel the tenseness, gagging often, up till lately it would lead to expelling phlegm quite painfully before I even left the bed. Thankfully lately, possibly through the help of an app on my phone called Smiling Mind, I've been more calm in the mornings but I still dread food. Every time I look at the clock I see how long it's been since I've eaten and how long till I need to eat again. Everytime I feel something in my body I assume it's food related, that I'm hungry, that I'm about to be sick, that I'll need a trip to the bathroom. Yet thus far it's been none, besides upping my food only twice in the time I've been like this. So when I got bad enough to start writing in my journal again I was eating a banana, chicken soup, and a frozen meat pie. I was never a big eater but to think I thought I was bad then when now I string through the day on snacks, scared of each one, though a little less as each individual day goes on. Somedays I can have more than just snacks (that I eat slowly.) But I still wake every day terrified of the food to come. I'll elaborate more.

[Guest_9809]

Hello again Hyper. I see you found your way to the Pet Thread, and posted a lovely post about little Picolo.

With regards to moving your Intro thread to the Anxiety section - no, I suspect it would not make much difference to the number of responders. I think it just happens to be a difficult post for people to respond to. I feel that if anyone has any helpful advice, they will find you here. As is evidenced by the fact that a new member has already posted a reply to you this afternoon.

Hello Mellows and thankyou for offering some very helpful insight here. Your input is much appreciated and will hopefully be of benefit to Hyper. I also note that this is your first (and second) post - so I will extend to you a very warm welcome to the Forums. Would you like to open your own introduction thread and tell us a bit more about yourself? Perhaps someone here can be of assistance to you, just like you have been to Hyper. I will keep a look out for you around the Forums in the hope that you will stick around.

Taurus

[Hypersleep]

I noticed this too, I'm flattered your first posts were to me Mellows. Hopefully you are just here to help people but should you have any troubles of your own I'll be glad to listen and help in any way possible.

[Hypersleep]

To anyone who may happen by here. I'm feeling a lot better than when I left this post so if you're in a bad way, hang in there! Today might suck but tomorrow may not. The only way to find out? Be there! But I still do have trouble getting out of bed in the morning and I'd love more suggestions on easy snacks to eat when eating seems like a mountain of a task.

In-fact I've something of an observation to add, which is likely very typical of anxiety. We often build up tasks in our mind but I find even things I really, truly know will be fine I still worry about doing. For a specific example. I'm playing a game with my friends, I'm calm as can be. Slowly friend by friend goes to do something else, and this doesn't detract from the comfort I've achieved. But then another friend asks me to do something with them that I know will be just as comforting and distracting as what I'm doing now, yet I hesitate. As you've probably figured out this is my trouble with eating right now. I am terrified of the potential complications of eating, but once I've got my food in front of me it's a lot easier. Past 3 days chicken noodles have been the easiest thing for me to eat. (slight tangent) Which had it's own breakthrough, I thought they were particularly unpleasant and for once, before assuming it was a problem with me, I looked at the packaging. Turns out I bought the whole-grain version, not the normal ones I get. Which made eating the next batch, the ones I thought I got so much easier and less daunting! (end of tangent) Even still, deciding I was going to have the noodles made me gag, as I had trouble finding a bowl to cook them in I nearly panicked as I already opened the packet and commit to the idea. Every instance of the situation down to them being in front of me, glistening and steaming in the cold weather was a mountainous task. Even the first bite was scary, but once I got over that I dug in and licked the bowl clean! That said, I still have severe limits to what I eat but I am branching out, very slowly to return to my normal habits.

Another odd observation. Recounting the fact I overcame my fear and ate the noodles calmly and so well to my friend later made me a little nauseous. I gagged here and there while explaining it to him. So the thought of food even after the hard part is over still worries me. Still I'm happy with my progress and looking forward to another day of confidence! If nothing else I leave this comment here as an update for future readers.

[Jebera]

Hi Hypersleep

I'm glad you're feeling better. I get all knotted in the stomach when I'm anxious and when I can't eat I drink Up & Go's. I also find soup and eggs are easy to get down - soft boiled, scrambled or a quiche.

Hope you keep feeling better.

Jebera

[Hypersleep]

Hey Jebera, thanks for the response. Glad to see more people helping me out.

I actually have some Up & Go's in the fridge in-case I feel up to trying them, I'll be less hesitant now I know it works for you too. Are they strong tasting? I got one vanilla and one chocolate.

Eggs too I've been thinking about trying. They seem like a good idea too if they do work for me because I could easily put in extra things to make it healthier and more filling, slowly expanding my tastes again. How many eggs would you think to get me started again with scrambled? Just two?

Soup funny enough should work fine. I've been having some chicken noodle soup in a cup. I rarely finished it entirely. But it helped, especially in the cold weather here in QLD at the moment. It's what lead to me being comfortable with having chicken noodles again. I always loved Heinz Tomato Soup so I've got some cans of that ready to go as-well.

Very helpful response Jebera, thanks again.

[Jebera]

Hi Hypersleep

Glad to have a couple of ideas that might help. Up & Go's I like the chocolate and vanilla ones - don't like the coffee ones much but I love coffee. I'd just try a couple of eggs to start with and add more eggs or fillings as you feel you can deal with on the day. Soft boiled eggs and toast soldiers are good too. Can't beat tomato soup for comfort food - it's my favourite.

[Hypersleep]

I've found some new information, from Anxiety Disorders Association of Victoria on Morning Anxiety that I probably knew at some point but had forgotten. I'll copy/paste the main part that helps me.

It is in regards to my morning anxiety, fear of getting out of bed and how my anxiety gets better over the day.

"On awakening, our bodies produce a
hormone called cortisol which is released when it’stime to wake up.
Cortisol is also released as a response to stress and it can make us
feel tense and anxious. You can change your thinking about your morning
anxiety by telling yourself, “This is just a burst of cortisol which is
my body’s natural response to waking up”. This might help in not
becoming anxious about morning anxiety.

Another physical reason
we might feel anxious when we wake up is that our blood sugar level
drops overnight while we sleep, and this can cause feelings of anxiety
in some people. Eating something soon after you get out of bed will
help. Alternatively, have a snack or drink by your bed and have this
before getting up."

[Hypersleep]

Mmm I tried the vanilla, I can get used to this. I'm autistic and probably picky even for someone like me but I can get used to this. Kind of relaxing and fulfilling to drink. I'm easing myself into it though. I still get particularly nauseous in the mornings so I don't want to spoil it for myself but having it before I feel comfortable in the day but again, for anyone who may be in a similar situation to me considering trying them.

[Tiffany1]

Hi Hypersleep,

I'm so glad you've taken all these steps to help yourself, that's great to see.

I love vanilla flavoured things! A great dependable flavour.

Im not sure what to suggest, but I'm totally down for a chat about food. You can skip this if you need to and read someone else's comment! I do hear you and support you, don't push yourself if reading about food will trigger it. But I have a very good relationship with food and I think everyone deserves to as well.

Some suggestions for very plain things that you can find at Woolies or Coles, Captain's Table Classic Water Crackers, Cruskits, plain Rice Wheels, plain breadsticks.

Some suggestions of what to eat with them: mild twiggy (found in the deli section of Coles or woolies, they are sticks of meat and very mild tasting), slices of ham or turkey, mild cheeses like the softer ones such as Brie or Camembert, cream cheese would be nice to spread on top a cracker too.

My dinner staple is very simple, I chop up a bit of cucumber, cherry tomatoes and use a part of a bag of pre packaged mixed leaf salad from Coles. I put it into a bowl and suddenly it's a meal, I change up the protein that I put on top. I might do baked chicken tenders (from a packet, I'm no chef), a plain steak cut into strips or a piece of lamb backstrap cut into strips. If I want more flavour, I add crumbled feta cheese, I find it's salty but not overwhelming in taste. Some days I will do just the salad without a protein. It's healthy, keeps me going and I do swimming and jogging almost every day, so it should give you plenty of energy!

If you like vanilla, my go to vanilla yoghurt is Dairy Farmers Thick and Creamy in Classic Vanilla.

You could also try plain popcorn. It's very cheerful to eat too.

If you go out and eat, may I reccomend ordering a plain hot udon from a Japanese place. It's plain thick noodles in the mildest soy based soup, very nice.

Cafes with breakfast items tend to have more simple fare like toast with eggs and you can always ask for a glass of water with your meal.

It's great to see that you don't drink alcohol, its a very healthy decision and I might cut down on the number of drinks I have too.

I hope you have a great day, and know you're doing incredibly well. Hope something I said was kinda helpful, and if you did want to chat more about food, it would be my pleasure.

In the meantime, look after yourself.

[Hypersleep]

Fantastic response, thanks a lot! I really appreciate the specifics. Been pretty good lately, kind of a hiccup today, hence my return here to check/update people in this thread.

What I ended up having mostly were noodles. Starting my day when possible with a banana, following it up an hour or two later with noodles. Thankfully I got to the stage where I didn't really need to wait for me to be SUPER HUNGRY to be convinced to eat. The routine kicking in I guess, very good sign. I'd even got confident enough to throw in some new things. Not just food wise, going back to some of my more stressful and 'engaging' pass-times. (Difficult/demanding video-games) Still managing to keep my cool and some of the new routines I've had. Sadly, I've not managed to turn my sleeping around much but besides today I was going pretty swell. Hell, the night is young yet for me so maybe it'll turn around. Who knows! What upset me so far today was my usual post-banana noodles. For now I'm chalking it up to cooking them weirdly (too much water, lost a lot of the taste) and a particular lack of sleep. (Bed at 10:30 AM instead of 6-7 AM, terrible I know but lately I've been focused on the eating part of my health. Only stayed up that long because of an appointment which went pretty well, which certainly helps me looking back on how stressed I was.)

So yeah, it's a good time for me to see your response. Worst case scenario I've got more foods to try and see what work. For the most part though, my appetite is back. I'm still taking it slow though. Even if I don't eat much today, though I intend to try again later, I'm much more calm about the whole situation.

I've thought about trying some nicer noodles like the ones you describe, but I might save that for when I'm feeling better. If I really enjoy them I don't want to subconsciously associate them with how I've been lately.

Apologies for my late reply. I'll check back here daily for your response, rest assured. N-not to rush you of course, haha. Just know I'm still following this. I mean heck today I had some KFC on the way home even at that early hour, managed to keep it down fine. I'm capable of eating 'normally' which is nice to know, when I'm in a clear state of mind.