G'day everyone, just a self introduction and a request for some fairly specific anxiety related support.

[Hypersleep]

Where to begin. I guess I'll just start with my condition that made me sign up here today. I've been having trouble eating. For about a month now. Now, this isn't the 1st time this has happened to me, infact it's the 4th by my count, the 1st event like this being what lead me to being diagnosed with Anxiety.

So it's a very mixed feeling, knowing that I've beaten this before, certainly under worse conditions (Cyclone Marcia in '15 left us without power for about a week, that absolutely shattered me but again, I made it and I'm here still.) From what I can tell what set me off this time was losing our phone line and internet for a few days when I was already feeling a bit down. So that happened about a month ago, only lasted a few days but by the time I could get back to my regular distractions and habits for dealing with my anxiety I was already quite severe. No appetite, upset that after going so long (about a year and a half of being on the 'offensive', so to say, with my anxiety) to learn that I can still arbitrarily be brought down to what I consider my worst really hurts. I kept a journal last time I was this bad though, and I am updating it daily again. I find it helps. Sorry if I'm veering all over the place here, I'll get to the core of my post now.

Basically each day I wake up awash with dread. I'll be lying in bed calmly but as soon as my brain acknowledges that I need to get up I start to feel the tenseness, gagging often, up till lately it would lead to expelling phlegm quite painfully before I even left the bed. Thankfully lately, possibly through the help of an app on my phone called Smiling Mind, I've been more calm in the mornings but I still dread food. Every time I look at the clock I see how long it's been since I've eaten and how long till I need to eat again. Everytime I feel something in my body I assume it's food related, that I'm hungry, that I'm about to be sick, that I'll need a trip to the bathroom. Yet thus far it's been none, besides upping my food only twice in the time I've been like this. So when I got bad enough to start writing in my journal again I was eating a banana, chicken soup, and a frozen meat pie. I was never a big eater but to think I thought I was bad then when now I string through the day on snacks, scared of each one, though a little less as each individual day goes on. Somedays I can have more than just snacks (that I eat slowly.) But I still wake every day terrified of the food to come. I'll elaborate more.

[Hypersleep]

Oh! I even tried the chocolate Up & Go. Very good also, especially surprised me because usually though I enjoy flavoured milks, even on a good day they might make me feel a little funky. These seem fine, and it makes me happy that a risk payed off. I've got 2 vanilla and 2 chocolate in the fridge as we speak, I've been having quite a lot of them. My doctor made a note of not relying solely on softer/liquid foods because then going back to solid stuff would be difficult so I'm making sure to pace them out. But I've no doubt the variety of the vitamins and whatnot in them help keep me feeling better. I also take two 500mg vitamins a day, vitamin C which also specify they aren't meant to completely replace it as your source of the vitamin. I've managed to have plain pies lately, almost one a day which is fantastic for me, a big return to form. Sadly I might forgo one today (And with it the biggest meal of my routine lately) but I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow when I'm well rested with more than 6 ish hours sleep. Having said that, being out and about so early was probably the most sunlight I've had in weeks so that's probably good for me.

Feeling better after reading your response too.

[Guest_9809]

Hi there Hyper. So good to see that you are getting the specific responses and advice that you were seeking when you came here. Some very helpful suggestions there now. Really pleased to see that you are making some progress with your appetite, despite a minor hiccup today/yesterday. I hope the progress continues, and that your sleep improves further as well.

Taurus

[Hypersleep]

Cheers. :3

I had intended on being more active in the forums but unfortunately I find a lot of the layout pretty hard to use and navigate. I will still endeavor to update this post at the least. I still check on the pet one regularly too. 🙂

[Hypersleep]

Along with the usual road blocks when trying to develop a new habit of course.

[Hypersleep]

Big update. Had my friend over, went well. Hopefully will have him over tomorrow as well. But I've set up an appointment with the Pysch, it'll cost $420 and will happen mid September. Really hope Headspace picks up in the mean time. I think they rang today when mum was out so hopefully they've got an appointment ready finally. Going to see my Dr. about maybe increasing my dosage of SSRI. On 20mg. I shouldn't *need* to, but I feel like I need it. I need some change.

This one website that's given me closure for awhile and proved to be true in my experience says this about my situation.

"Lack of appetite:
Sometimes you just don’t feel like eating, or the thought of food is unappealing. This symptom can also be described as not having any desire to eat, not ever being hungry, or the thought of eating makes you nauseous.
Or, even though you are losing weight and should be eating, you have no desire or 'taste' for food.

Lack of appetite may precede, accompany, or follow an escalation of other anxiety sensations and symptoms, or occur by itself.
Lack of appetite can precede, accompany, or follow an episode of nervousness, anxiety, fear, and elevated stress, or occur ‘out of the blue’ and for no apparent reason.
Lack of appetite can range in intensity from slight, to moderate, to severe. It can also come in waves, where it’s strong one moment and eases off the next.
Lack of appetite can change from day to day, and/or from moment to moment.
All of the above combinations and variations are common."

Bold parts in the above are particularly true in my case, there was definitely an event that brought this on. It goes on to say:

"How to get rid of a lack of appetite?

Because this symptom is just a symptom of elevated stress, it needn't be
a cause for concern. It will subside when you reduce your stress and
give your body ample time to calm down. As your body's stress returns to
a normal level, symptoms of stress subside, including the anxiety
symptom a lack of appetite. Therefore, an anxiety-caused lack of
appetite needn't be a cause for concern."

That seems to be true too, the past times I just stuck in my ways and I got better without radical change, barring a 3 month exemption from looking for a job which isn't an option anymore. Leaning to me thinking more medication is my only option this time. I was getting a lot better too but the day I found out I needed to attend appointments I got significantly worse again.

What should I do?

[TrailRunner]

Hi Hyper,

Just had a read of your posts. And a couple times you've mentioned going to your appointments really puts out your routine. Hope you can come up with an alternate routine for these days for the future you?
I also thought a plain food choice could be porridge, you could even mash your banana through it. or keep it as plain as you like..
For healthy choices, I stuck to a bowl of steamed veggies when I was at my worst (i bought the frozen ones and microwave zapped them for an instant meal).

TR

[Hypersleep]

Thanks Trail!

Always happy to hear more suggestions, I'll keep them in mind. I've been finding noodles to be pretty good lately, at least they're working for me. My daily routine (food wise) for the past 5 days maybe has been the following:

Wake up, take my medications, have a chinger chew, 3 little multivitamin gummies, a banana, tiny packet of cookies, beef/chicken maggie noodles, another banana, a microwaved chicken burger and a Up and Go popper.

I was feeling particularly hungry last night so I thought I'd try a meat pie again (Been awhile without one, I usually love them) but by the time it was done cooking, maybe the smell or the wait or something, just didn't feel like eating it. Next time I might try another brand of pie or something more snacky like 3 party pies or something. Thankfully it didn't take away my appetite and I still had my chicken burger.