Frustration anxiety

[blinkerson]

Hullo

I'm new and still working my way through all the amazing info, so sorry if this has been asked recently...

What is a good way to calm a frustration phase? I'm in a major slump just now because I feel like I'm pushing hard to sort my life out but not achieving much. I took an extended break from work to address my anxiety, retrained and started a business which is struggling now. I have a job which helps my husband with the bills but there's not enough money to do what I know can be done to market my business more effectively, and I can't afford a car yet. We recently moved to the country for various reasons, which is lovely, but apart from work I'm virtually housebound. I know what needs to be done, there's a huge potential list, but just now I spend most of my day fighting to keep the panic down. So angry at myself for getting to this point when the future seemed so bright for a while there. Any ideas for getting myself back up?

[EliseK]

Hey Blinkerson,

I'm sorry you feel that way. I can totally understand that frustration. After dealing with anxiety and depression since a teen it is definitely getting to the point where I am frustrated when I am not coping all that well.

Some things I try and remember:

Its ok to feel anxious when life is unstable. Let yourself feel that way, accept it. by this I don't mean, feed the anxiety more 'give yourself a break'. I accept anxiety as a way to feel less frustrated. Knowing that its ok takes the pressure off and then I can start looking for ways help me get on top again. Know that for many people this will be a long path. Think of it like a broken leg- it can take weeks/ months or years to be fully healed- so why expect anything less for you mental health?

I exercise without fail every day. It helps with anxiety and also makes me feel accomplished.

I might suggest writing lists at the start of the day. Make them achievable (pack the dishwasher, data entry) by the end of the day you will see how productive you have been and it can make you feel like you are more in control.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Blinkerson,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for providing your post.

Please please, don’t be angry with yourself about how things are – this frustration phase can be all encompassing and really smothering; as you’re no doubt finding out. It’s not like you asked for it to happen. It just does and when it does, just how in the hell are we supposed to deal with it?

Money can always be a focal point for issues that we face – that dreaded $ sign can really tip us in the wrong way and make us think that the future is going to rough. But it won’t always be rough – things will pan out; I know this sounds like a generalisation, but if you keep on with what you’re doing, things do tend to change. Ok, the changes might not be massive, but even a change in the positive to a slight improvement is good.

Ok, so you’ve got work, which is always a good distraction to help you get through the days, but you mention apart from that you’re virtually house-bound. Is there a way that you can make that a more beneficial or productive time? Though it’s not the best time of year I know to be out in the garden, and changing things around or improving the look of your outside area; this can not only be an obvious benefit to the outlook of your home, but also it can have wonderful positive effects on your inner person. To see what you’ve done; improvements, etc; I think is a very good thing.

Are you enjoying the new country life?

I guess one other thing, that you hadn’t mentioned was whether you’ve been able or thought about getting along to a GP to discuss how things are for you at this time? Sometimes getting a professional view on things and to be able to unload to a GP can be beneficial and can lead to positive results stemming from that as well.

Would love to hear from you again.

Neil

[White_Rose]

Dear Blinkerson

Hello and welcome to the forum. So pleased you found your way to the information. You can download it or ask for parts to be posted to you.

Anger and frustration really do go together and the more we get angry with ourselves the more the frustration piles up and we get more angry... Been there and still go there, which is a frustration in itself. Elise has made a terrific suggestion about coping. We first need to stop the endless cycle before we can do anything.

I think everyone experiences this in some way and it's not a bad thing. If we can put the frustration to one side for a short time we can work on the actual cause of the problem and perhaps fix it. I have done that. It is amazing how we can find solutions when we are in a calmer frame of mind.

None of this helps if you cannot control the frustration and rage. Elise has commented that it is OK to feel that way, it is legitimate. Once we accept that and hopefully remember it on the next occasion, we are beginning to be in control. And it is that loss of control in the situation which is so annoying.

Having agreed that anger and frustration are legitimate feelings, I find the emotional temperature starts to drop. Not always hugely but to some extent. This is where you need a plan of action. Initially you can write this down but after a very short time you will be doing this automatically.

Which bits of the situation can you fix, carry out an action or have control over. I know we experience much frustration because we could get on and finish the task or whatever, if someone or something else had been done first. But we have no control over that.

How important is it to do this immediately. I understand you feel everything is important and needs to be done straight away. If this was true you would live in a constant state of frustration as, no matter how many resources you had available, some things would need to wait their turn.

Do what you can and look for ways to overcome the barriers of what cannot be done at the moment.

I say write things down is because problems look different in writing. It's the same problem and you may or may not have answers, but seeing it in black and white gives us time to think more clearly. It's almost like having another person there putting your frustration in context. Just the act of writing buys us more time as it takes longer to write than to think. All of this allows us to step back and be that little more objective.

Out of words.
Mary