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Can someone please be my friend?
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My GP ahs been treating me for depression nd anxiety since December last year. At the time he prescribed an anti depressant and a powerful sedative to help stop the panic attacks. Needless to say this did not enhance my work performance. My GP advised me to inform my manager and HR manager of my treatment. Doing this only served to get me demoted and cop a huge salary cut as "duty of care". Of course my workload and what was expected of me did not decrease and my depression grew. In April I began seeing a psycholologist with whom I have been investigating the underying cause. It seems this could have started 32 years ago but was never picked up on because I never stayed long enough in one place for anyone to really notice. Since I met my wife, I have become stable in as far as staying in one place goes. I immersed myself in work and was always a loyal hard working stress addicted workaholic until my new manager started in 'November last year. Things have now come to the point that I am now incapableof workingand as well as trialling various medications am now on another sedative. If I take the sedative I am miserable and depressed all day long. If I do not take the sedative I amfighting to sop my temper from exploing over trivial matters. Recently things at work have escalated to a work cover claim and I will be having my assessment in the next couple of days. However I am now growing paranoid and just want to hidein a darkened room. I ma terrified that omeone might knock on the door or the phone might ring and I do not want to associate with or socialise with anyone. My wife and sons are currently overseas and I have no one to talk to. That is the reason for my initial post, "Can someone please be my friend?"
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Hi Peter (assuming that's your name - apologies if it's not!)
Sure, I'll be your friend! I've already made quite a few on here. Not that I've met up with any of them and had drinks down the pub -- but they've been here for me nonetheless, a virtual shoulder to cry on...just having someone listen is so helpful and comforting, and I take it that's what you're after here.
While I can't claim to know exactly what you're going through -- our circumstances are unique to us all -- and especially I can't imagine how tough it's been living with your conditions for such a long time (it's longer than I've been here on Earth!), I have struggled with an anxiety disorder myself for several years as well as depression. I know how terrifying panic attacks can be -- I don't think it's truly possible to convey to someone who hasn't "been there" the full severity of such episodes. I suffered panic attacks daily for 6 months before seeking treatment -- and each time I thought I was legitimately going to die. I was also extremely embarrassed and mortified each time too, as most would occur either on my way to work on a packed train or in the office. I left my job, because I felt like I couldn't cope any more.
Well now that I've made everything all about me haha I'll return to my point, which is that you can get through this. Shit, mate, if you've lived with it for this long largely without help, that's such a testament to your strength of character. And with all the responsibilities of being a family man... my hat goes off to you!
That said, it often takes even greater strength to seek professional help and I'm so glad to hear that you have. I'm curious about these sedatives you've been prescribed. Can I ask whether you have a specific panic disorder? It just sounds like a really powerful drug, which obviously has side effects -- I'm wondering whether there are other options you can discuss with your psychiatrist and/or your psychologist.
Can I also ask whether your family know what you're going through? From personal experience I know how awful it is to see someone who I love experience such pain and isolation.
You sound like a really hard-working individual, and that your career is very important to you. I must say that my depression and anxiety have really given me a new perspective on life, allowing me to see what truly matters in life. I'm not saying work isn't important, I'm just saying that sometimes we get bogged down with it and often put it before ourselves
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Whoops! I went over the limit haha.
I think I said everything that I wanted though. I hope some of what I said was useful. Re your panic attacks, assure yourself that you've been through them before and that they cannot and will not hurt you. When things are bad, I tell myself "It won't always be this way. Take one day at a time." And I also try to remind myself as much as possible what I'm thankful for each day, even if it's small stuff like a hot shower or a good book. It's so easy to put ourselves down and criticise everything we do, but you need to give yourself credit for all the battles you've fought and use that conviction to get you through the tough times ahead.
Chin up, mate. Remember, this too shall pass.
James
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Hello anotherPeter, thanks for your post.
It is excellent to see you are linked in with both your doctor and a psychologist. Medication and counselling are known to be two of the most effective treatments of depression and anxiety. We hope you have not given up hope for recovery. Because your symptoms have been untreated for so long, the treatment will take time to work. Stay persistent with it. Please also update your GP and psychologist about how you are feeling whenever things change. It would be a good idea to let them know that you are feeling very lonely and anxious currently.
We also hope the health professionals involved in your care are supporting you with the Workcover claim. They can help to ensure that this process is not too overwhelming.
If you ever feel you need urgent mental health support, or if things get to the point where you are unable to attend appointments with your GP and psychologist please contact your Statewide Mental Health Line.
We are always here to support you too. We encourage you to call the beyondblue Support Service on 1300 22 4636. We can help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with counselling support, information and referrals. We also have web chat service available from 3pm-midnight 7 days a week, you can access this from our website:
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