I recently broke my ankle at work. I slipped on an outdoor ramp that had worn grips and landed awkwardly, resulting in two broken bones.
I have spent the last 5 weeks under my doona feeling sorry for myself. I am fiercely independent and the idea of asking people for help is horrible. It's been such a difficult time. Not to mention dealing with the insurer and my HR department who have been harassing me and talking to me like a child. After a previous doctor failed to complete my return to work certificate correctly my HR rep became aggressive and threatened me with withholding my wage. I instantly broke down, hyperventilating and started spiralling. The HR person became awkward and I ended up hanging up. I don't feel comfortable talking to her anymore.
My leg is revolting. It is swollen and scarred. I don't recognise it as my leg anymore. My brain seems to have disowned it. I feel ridiculous talking like this because people go through far worse than this, but nevertheless I am struggling.
I felt I had started to turn a corner when my sister came to stay with me last week and she encouraged me to try and walk again. I started to remember what life used to be like. I saw the doctor who recommended that I return to work.
Today was my first day back and it was TORTURE!! The pain was horrible but what I struggled with more than anything is that strangers use my broken leg to start a conversation with me. My social anxiety is worse than a thousand broken bones. It's intense and it's tiring. I feel like people are constantly staring. I am uncomfortable and I don't want to leave the house.
Would it be unreasonable to ask for more time off until I'm more mobile and less conspicuous? I can't cope with the situation. I hate the attention. I hate looking like an idiot struggling to get around. I hate putting on a fake smile and pretending to be fine.
I'm not fine. My leg hurts and I don't want to tell people the story of how I broke my leg walking... not doing tricks on the ski slopes, like they want to hear.
