For as long as I can remember

[Bubbaloo]

I remember laying in bed as a teenager,crying because of the war they were talking about on TV,my parents fighting etc. I was NEVER good enough for my mother. She would play mind games with me. She never believed a word I said, I was always the liar even though I always told the truth. She pitted me against my father time and again. She had done it again when my grandmother died. She also made sure he has no relationship with his sister (who had just lost her husband at that time). She is toxic. I have never had any self confidence because of this. I actually saw a counsellor many years ago and she asked why I was there when my mother clearly needed the help. I escaped the wrath of mother by leaving home with my bf who eventually became my husband. He too was abusive and toxic. I found the courage to pack up my kids and leave him after 12 years. I became my own person. I went to work in service station and was involved in an armed hold up. It left me with alot of anxiety issues. I very rarely go out. I work from home. It drives my partner nuts. The drs I see out west don't ask questions they think your just looking for drugs. I want to feel normal. I want to be able to enjoy what they take for granted... freedom without fear.

[quirkywords]

Bubbaloo

welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing your story honestly. Sorry for the wait fir a reply but it happens when forums are busy.

Iam so sad your mum was so toxic and you endured an abusive relationship.

would you consider ringing BB support line 1300 22 4636 .

[Petal22]

Hi Bubbaloo,

Sorry you have been through so much ......

I totally understand anxiety I had severe anxiety OCD but have now recovered thanks to the help from professionals...

have you thought about seeing a different gp ? You could do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist who can give you many strategies to help you deal with your anxiety.....

there is always hope.....you can learn how to manage your anxiety and live a full life...

here if you want to chat

[geoff]

Hello Bubbaloo, and a warm welcome to the forums.

It's so sad to hear you have had such a difficult life and no one ever deserves this to happen, and I say this because many times when everything isn't going well, it just continues, locking you in and we're so sorry this has been your situation.

It's unfortunate that the doctor's don't ask questions, because how are you supposed to explain what has happened and how can you improve, what has been an awful life, and begin feeling as though you feel you can eventually overcome your anxiety and if these doctors are prepared to do this then it's time to seek another GP.

Can I suggest you either print off or write down what you have told us and then hand this over to your doctor, this eliminates the loss of memory, when they ask you 'how can I help you', and what you have told us, I'm sure this is only a brief description of what you have had to endure.

'Freedom without fear' is what everyone else wants in life and you deserve it as well, so please when you have time you can get back to us, we only want to help you.

Geoff.