food worries always unable to work and feeling so anxious around others

rebeccagiraffe

I'm so tired and don't want to have an eating disorder anymore. I feel like I just make the behaviours worse. I tried to eat at my parents job and just felt so judged because I didn't know what to say to the employees who were making conversation in the kitchen beforehand. Then I sat down to eat and I didn't want the food and my dad was asking me what was on for the weekend and I spat out the food cause I could feel my belly getting worse and I didn't want to vomit. It's an awful cycle and I feel so stuck and also focused on it. I've had ARFID for 10 years. I'm so embarrassed and angry with these behaviours and I want it to stop. It's like I've lost skills which I once had which was knowing what to say to make any type of conversation, feeling confident and not caring. I'm so scared all the time and just get paranoid people are talking about me which also makes it worse. Help.

Flowtoserenity

Hi there. I see you. With respect, maybe we can learn together? I believe you can allow yourself to have a wonderful life. I see you maybe panicking and also the stress you're going through too. It's clouding you into anxiety, any wonder you cant eat. So ur confidence low. First to me you are more important than anyone or what they think or talk about. I'm more worried that you should love you more. Are ya ok to talk about you? Hey don't be shy we all cop stress at some point so dont ever let anyone make you feel we aren't all equal for starters lol.

Louise__

I don’t know if I can help with what you’re experiencing currently. But I can sit with you where you’re at, because I’ve felt it too. I’m nearly 30 now and when my anxiety is high I can’t physically put food into my mouth. It feels like a dry ball of fluff that I feel like I’ll choke on. Sometimes the idea of forcing myself to eat brings on a panic attack.

it’s extremely embarrassing so I understand exactly what you’re feeling. But I can promise you that people’s opinions on you mean nothing. Everyone is so absorbed in their own bubbles that they will only be thinking about how they come across. Human beings are focussed on self, so whenever you think people are talking about you, they’re not.

be proud of who you are, because the struggles that you’re dealing with are exhausting and it takes so much strength to balance it everyday.

you’re doing amazing.

Psychdiaries2

Hi there,

Thanks for your post and my heart goes out to you in your struggles. I just wanted to reassure you that it is not your fault you have an eating disorder and I can tell you're trying your best. I wanted to ask if you're seeing a professional to help you in this area? I understand it's really tricky to navigate, and it would be helpful to speak to someone in this field specifically.

Here is the number for The Butterfly Foundation: 1800 33 4673

And their website: https://butterfly.org.au/get-support/helpline/

It's hard when you feel like people are judging you, but I guarantee you that most people are focused on whatever they've got going on to notice these things. As a suggestion, would it help you to maybe practice some conversation starters by yourself in your room before you go out to speak to others? It may help you to feel a bit confident in what you're going to say. Be kind to yourself, it's not easy to hold a conversation and it's hard when you're put on the spot.

Hope this helps and reach out again if you need additional support. Take care of yourself.

Kind regards,

PsychDiaries