Focussing on mistakes in my past

[greatoutdoors123]

Hi there,

I seem to have a problem with focussing (and almost obsessing) over mistakes I've made in the past. Whether it be at uni, or work etc, I will just randomly think of them and then replay them over and over. It's really getting to me and makes me feel bad about myself.

Has anyone else felt this way, or have any tips?

Thanks everyone,

x

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

So, obsessing over the past. Not so uncommon especially among those with MI.

For that problem my therapist in 1987 taught me to question myself if I'm being realistic. If not then actions of distraction is one relief.

Google beyondblue topic who cries over spilt milk?

Beyondblue topic worry worry worry

youtube maharaji prem rawat the perfect instrument (and numerous videos of his, a man of wisdom)

and put "distraction " in the search above.

I'd suggest a gp check up for any OCD symptoms as well.

repost anytime here or in those threads

TonyWK

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi greatoutdoors123,

Thank you for your post. TonyWK is right - it is totally normal to obsess and fixate on things that have happened in our past. I'm guilty of that too.

Are there particular kinds of mistakes or things your brain likes to focus on? Does the mistake in general make you feel bad about yourself or is it the fact that you're focusing on it?

Sometimes, thinking and focusing on mistakes can be helpful - we can learn from them, figure out what to do next, help us avoid that mistake again. But over time, and especially if it's repetitive it can really be disruptive. While you may not be able to stop those thoughts coming up in our head though, you can learn to create some distance from it so it doesn't have to interrupt us as much. Maybe that's turning it into a story or pretending it's an old VHS tape. It's there, and it's annoying, but you don't have to tune into it or buy into those messages that make you feel bad.

RT

[suewho]

I do this myself.the only way I know to stop it is by creating a fantasy world. not exactly helpful or healthy. Im looking forward to understanding more about my conditions and why I do things like this.

[quirkywords]

Hello greatoutdoors,

thanks for your thread.

Tony, romantic , suewho have all given helpful suggestions.

i often dwell on the past but I find the more I tell myself not to think about past mistakes the more I do.

If let mysel think about the past but only for 5 minutes , I then think about one good thing from the past.

Quirky

[sunnydaysarecoming]

hi,

i know exactly how you feel and it’s one of the worst feelings in the world. i recently got my first job ever and it’s terrifying when you make a mistake and then you think about it and replay it over and over in your head for the entire day. what i’ve come to realise is that, no one judges you as harshly as yourself. you might make a silly little mistake and you think it’s the end of the world, but everyone’s already forgotten about it. 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Greatoutdoors, welcome to the forums and obsessing over mistakes or what you believe may happen is a trait for having OCD, although I can't diagnose you, I only know because I also have that illness and agree with Tony that you need to see your doctor.

When we focus on any mistakes it maybe really difficult to move past them and they feel much more intense than they really are, that's what happens if you have OCD.

One mistake leads to another, which may not have any comparison, but that's what we attach it too, believing the same outcome may happen and to keep pondering over the thought only means it keeps challenging our mind, stand up and say no to the point where you say 'it's not helpful' and focus on something that's positive and distracted yourself.

It can go much deeper than this as well, but hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.