A distressing day

[44Max44]

So today has been pretty difficult for me so far. Some background is I've had nasal polyps for a few months now, but they have never really caused me any worry- until this morning.
I went to blow my nose and a little bit of mucus with blood in it came out, and my nose was bleeding a little bit. I then stupidly googled 'blood nose and nasal polyps' and of course, one of the things Google says it 'could' be is cancer. Great. Now my mind is going crazy and I can't think of anything but that, I went to my friend's house and found it extremely difficult to socialize, I pretty much just stayed silent and was in my head the whole time.

On the bright side of things, this rather distressing experience finally pushed me to go down to my GP and book both a normal consult to check up on my nose, and a mental health care plan for Monday next week. I'm seriously considering just going down to the GP tonight (it closes at 10pm) and getting my nose checked then because I'm really concerned. It could very well be (and most likely is) just a slight nose bleed caused by the abnormally hot day (28 degrees compared to 20ish degree days usual), but that still doesn't stop me from being anxious of it.

This isn't really a question, I'm just really anxious right now and want to voice my concerns. Let's just say I can't wait for the GP visit tomorrow and see what the doctor has to say. I really need to get out of the habit of self-diagnosing myself because it just makes me panic even when I might have no reason to be panicking at all. I hope that's the case.

Thanks guys

[44Max44]

I know this wasn't a question at all but any tips or advice is still very much appreciated. Anything to put my mind at ease.
Thank you

[Prop]

It's great that you are getting on with seeing a GP sooner rather than later. It is great to be on top of your health. It also means that you will find out sooner and you will stop stressing. Good luck, I'm sure it is nothing to be worried about but at least it is early, giving yourself the best possible result. Relax a little.

[44Max44]

I'm not feeling as bad as I was earlier, but I'm still anxious to go to the GP to make sure it is nothing to stress about.
I'll update after I've gone tomorrow.

[44Max44]

A little update:
I went into the GP today about my nose and the doctor said it's nothing to worry about and was just from blowing my nose too hard. He did, however, recommend getting an allergy test so I got a blood test for that. I'm hoping I'm not allergic to my dogs or cats, but if I am I guess I'll just have to clean my room often.
Going in for my MHCP on Monday and that's when I get the results back for the test, now it's just a waiting game now.

One odd thing I've noticed is that since I've been taking melatonin to get to sleep, my dreams have been very vidid and sometimes pretty scary. Last night I had a dream that I was in a plane and it had to make an emergency landing on a highway, and flying is one of my biggest fears. I also had a dream right after that where I 'woke up' in my own room in my bed, and I just started getting really scared and even started screaming and thinking I was crazy in the dream... and the fact that I'm semi-lucid in most of my dreams because I practiced lucid dreaming a while back doesn't help because I'm actually sort of conscious during these dreams 😕
spooky stuff.

[Mollie_59]

Hi, it's really reassuring your gp said your nose was nothing to be worried about. Hopefully the bloods don't turn up anything.
The dreams sound very intense. Definitely mention them when you're at your Dr on Monday. I hope you have a more restful sleep tonight!

[44Max44]

This MHCP I have booked tomorrow can't come soon enough, it seems like every single day I come up with a new potential health issue. Just after waking up in the mornings is the worst part of my day every day because I just feel super tired which makes me feel more anxious. It's only after I fully wake up that I can think rationally and start to improve my mood.

I can't wait for tomorrow's meeting, it's about time I start getting help for my mental health. I really hope I can fix my issues and get on with my life because living like this is torture. The month I'll probably have to wait between my MHCP and my first visit to the psychiatrist is probably going to be really difficult and I'm dreading it.

I want to go on medication as a last resort, but at the same time I'm willing to do anything that could possibly help me out, the biggest problem I have with getting on medication is the possible negative side-effects and becoming reliant on them to feel okay. I already feel terrible, so the last thing I want is a medication that'd make me feel even worse.

I'm getting so tired of feeling this way... I have no energy, no motivation, and a mind plagued with negative thoughts. I just can't seem to shake that underlying feeling of dread no matter what I'm doing.

[44Max44]

Something I forgot to add:
Even when I'm feeling happy or okay, it doesn't matter because the very first thought that pops into my head is "Hey, you aren't feeling anxious! Cool!" and then that in itself triggers my anxiety... everything is a constant reminder that I have anxiety, even the absence of anxiety.

[Ash81]

Hi Max,

i have severe health anxiety.. I also dread going to the drs or getting anything checked- and then getting the results omg that’s a whole new board game!

I’ve had blood test, stool tests, kidney ultrasound, breast ultrasound, ct scan for my brain, and uterus ultrasounds... right now I’m getting rectum pain with no blood thank goodness but it’s still causing me to freak out. Now all that’s in my mind is bowel cancer! Three gp’s have checked and said there is nothing and I’ve just said it’s a very tiny haemorrhoid that should go away on its own. I’m contemplating getting a colonoscopy to stop my fears but just doing that is hell! Drs said it’s not necessary but I made the dumb mistake of going to a specialist who said well if u want to know for sure do a colonoscopy! My dr laughed and said well he has to get paid somehow! Now I’m stuck thinking do I or don’t I! My psych says I have to trust the drs and not ask for tests that aren’t needed! I don’t know I hate this feeling!!

[Mollie_59]

How did your MHCP appointment go?