First Time in Ages

[Balvason]

Hello all,

First of all sorry for the possible rant that follows. Not really complaining and to be honest I don't like drawing attention to myself so sorry for that as well.

Backstory

At the end of 2019 I was working as a Project Manager for federal government as a private installer. This was already stressful, but that also combined with my kids issues at school, the constant noise of the neighbours and then not being able to let go if I had bad days left me as my wife described "a puddle" when i got home. I wasn't interested in engaging in family or even really going to work. But everyday i got up and did what i was employed to do. Didn't stop me thinking everyone was talking about me behind my back, or the way my heart started to beat faster when my phone would ring. I was quietly going mad. At the end of 2019 we (my family and i) had had enough so we sold everything and moved north to NSW to be near family. I quit my job and left the life behind.

I hadn't felt like that at all since then until today. I made a mistake at work, and then had several functions where i wasn't able to complete my task correctly. I felt like i was just asking for assistance constantly. Then started to hear (imagined or real i don't know) people talking about a task i had done today in low tones. I was almost in tears as i left and got in my car. The disappointment in my self for not letting it go was what i think was the worst.

I dunno, Just feels ridiculous to write it down.

Sorry again

[Not_Batman]

Hi Balvason.

dont apologise for reaching out. It sounds like you need someone to talk to, and this is the sort of thing that the forums are intended for.

i know that feeling, when you’ve made a mistake, and then it plays on you all day. I once put milk in the fridge at the office the wrong way, and got quite a scolding. So i didnt use the fridge for 2 weeks.

i was just scared that i was going to mess up a simple task and get yelled at again...that was until i realised that im human, not a robot, im not perfect, i dont know everything, and sometimes i need help. That is the same for everyone.

everyone has a different skillset, and there are a lot of things we think is so common or so easy that the answer is obvious, but for other people the experience can be quite the opposite.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. if you are in doubt about anything, ask for assistance. You’re human. Its how we learn.

Not_Batman

[Truc]

Hi Balvalson

I think it is normal if you make a mistake in jobs or in any fields that you are doing. We all make mistakes, maybe not today but still in the future, we are human beings, we always have room to improve and of course we are not gods and perfect like ones, we can not deny and avoid our mistakes I suppose. Also, before I did many mistakes in my jobs as well, however I found out that my mistakes should be less and tolerable enough, because I think I am not a baby, a baby can make 100 mistakes but I can not, I can make one or two but can not too many in my jobs and I should be aware of it, therefore, I research what I will be assigned to do beforehand, when I get a good grip of it, I feel more confident, just a little bit of effort before getting the job done,I think it would save our mental health a lot from making unnecessary mistakes I think. Besides, if u did your best to be prepared and to do good, and u still made a mistake, it is okay I think, every steps we walk out of home every day is not the same as well, so I think we just forgive ourselves and keep on learning.

[smallwolf]

As Not_Batman said... please do not apologise for the posting whatever your thoughts/feelings were. I have often said that I felt my problems were first world issues so I am wasting my psychologists time. And yet there are times when I feel so low that I understand why I do see a psychologists.

When I would talk to some people about what I was thinking I would start with "I know this sounds really stupid but ..." Just recently I was worried about giving someones number out. I was later told it was fine, but I was expected to worst to happen to me. Something so small can have a dramatic effect on you!

This could be something minor based on what someone said, or me reading too much in am email.

With what happened to you... are there people you can speak to? If not then perhaps a professional?

Do you have any tool or strategies to help you manage stressful situations. You could also look in the threads on mindfulness and grounding elsewhere here on the forums for other ideas. I hope you might come back, perhaps hang around and get to know the community here a little more. Listening to you,

Tim