Finding a suitable job when you have anxiety

[CoraC]

Does anyone have insights to share about how they found a job that was a good balance for coping with anxiety? I have been in corporate roles for about 20 years and have suffered from anxiety and depression during much of that time, the vast majority of my stress relates to work. Basically my worry about being not good enough at my job. I am so worried about making a mistake I check, check,check everything and then check it again. This of course slows me down and it takes me ages to do my work. I'm devastated if I get a critical performance review or anything like that. I find if I don't have a supportive manager, a kind team who treat each other well and a clearly defined role, I will run into problems. But I have found very few workplace are actually like this. I've just started a new job hoping this would be the one that would be smooth sailing but I've struck a terse manager, toxic team environment and limited training which has been extremely stressful. So I wake up every day thinking should I just leave now, but unconvinced I'll find this work 'wish list' I'm after anywhere. Can anyone relate to this?

[blondguy]

Hello CoraC

Thankyou for posting this thread topic as there are many people that are in a similar situation too

I understand your predicament as I have also been in senior corporate for a long time and with anxiety its a very tough place to be in. I hear you about being in a toxic 'workplace'....ugh!

Can I ask you how severe your anxiety is? (if thats okay of course)

My anxiety made sitting in boardrooms difficult even though I performed well....Back then I also had traffic anxiety and was generally over sensitized..until my doctors had a go at me for not seeking help with my anxiety

Just a note about the forums CoraC....They are a very Safe and non judgemental place for you to post 🙂

If you can elaborate about your anxiety symptoms we can support you more efficiently

I really hope you can post back....at your convenience of course

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Anne1303]

Hi Cora, I read your post and I could have written it myself. We sound so very, very similar, this is my working life exactly. I get so tired of worrying about it and rechecking things, it is mentally exhausting. I constantly have alerts set on my phone for new jobs that become available in our area, constantly looking for something wise that will be the “ideal” job for me. Just recently I began to question this though, and thought am I going to be happy anywhere, or is this something that is going to follow me from one job to the next, and it is not the job but me??? I have recently started on medication, and just yday saw a physiologist for the very first time, so am going to try that first and see if that helps, at least it may help me cope abit better. Do you worry when you go home from work as well? I know I think about things all night and that makes it even worse as I don’t sleep properly and I don’t engage with my family as my mind is always pre-occupied with work. It’s so hard isn’t it. I really, really feel for you as I know exactly what you are going through. I hope that brings you a small piece of comfort knowing you are not alone and can chat here at any time .

[Meowface]

Hi Cora, wow I can really relate to your post and have struggled with these factors most of my corporate career. After a couple of years I tend to burn out in each place and then move on, hoping for a better ratio on that magic formula. I’m stuck in my job at the moment until my maternity leave starts otherwise I would be looking.

I have started to wonder if maybe my ideal career isn’t in corporate which I find highly stressful dealing with complex situations and people. Maybe I would be better suited to a hands on doing job - where you can go home satisfied that the job is done.

I don’t know if this helps but just wanted to chime in with support that working with anxiety is challenging.

[CoraC]

Thanks for taking the time to reply, Paul

it is the sort of anxiety where you can't breathe, have heart palpitation and Burst into tears on the way to work. At work. And the night before starting another work day.. I did a k10 report a few days ago which was described as severe for both depression and anxiety.

[Rabbit33]

Hi CoraC,

I can definitely relate to you here. I spent 13 years working for a company in a corporate roll position and was constantly under an enormous amount of stress, which in turn lead to my depression worsening as well as my anxiety. I was in a very toxic environment with uncooperative work colleagues and horrible upper management. In the end I put in for stress leave, Workers comp claim, which was accepted. however my ex-employer still terminated me. So i don't suggest going down that track. Only you will know what is right for you and how much your willing to put up with. At the end of the day, i'm sure you are an amazing person who tries your hardest and just wants to do the right thing and please your work colleagues. If they cannot see this, don't let them dim your shine. You're need for re-assurance is warranted but you need to believe in yourself and if something was wrong, then it can be fixed. We are all humans and we make mistakes. Maybe try some self help books that boost yourself esteem and see how you go. I find they always helped for me. Have you looked into seeing maybe a psychologist through medicare? They have amazing strategies that will enable you to approach situations differently and they'll work through it with you so that you're not alone.

Otherwise, if you are looking for a new career/employment direction, something that won't cause you so much anxiety and stress. Why not working in the community or health sector? It can be stressful also but it is very rewarding. I've gone and done the same thing and I feel liberated knowing that i am able to assist others who are in need of support. The people i come in contact with are so genuine and free spirited and extremely kind natured. A quote i read the other day 'You're never to old to have a childhood' . Meaning, you can take a few steps backwards to position yourself into something you may enjoy more. Please don't take this as me telling you what to do. I'm just putting it out there that, the world is your oyster and you're never stuck. Hold your head high and believe that you'll make the right decision based on what you feel is best for you. In the mean time, You're doing an amazing job and you should be proud of yourself!

Best of luck CoraC

[CoraC]

Great post Rabbit33, thank you.

ironically some of the worst experiences in the workplace I've had have been st working at charities! Regrettably the ones I've worked at don't live the values they say they do. But maybe I just haven't found the right one.

your comment about taking a few steps backwards hits the nail on the head, that is exactly what I've been trying to do! But I don't get a look in because I've been working in the same area for a long time and people don't understand the motivation for wanting to take a step back, so I get passed over for jobs I'd probably enjoy a lot more. My other thought is to try something else but I don't know where to start to find something that doesn't bring about such anxiety and stress. All my career decisions seem to be bad ones, and for the most part I have worked in one toxic team after another, and or with a poor manager. I wish people would be honest about work environments before you start, it would help to know where might work, and where might not.

Thanks Rabbit33

[gloria10]

Hi CoraC,

I can completely understand what you are dealing with. I have had the same troubles myself. I also get what you mean about places not turning out the way you expect them to.

In saying that, I believe you will get there. Over the last six months I have been making a change to figure out what is going on with work to the point I now (think) I know what will work.

Have you got a good support network? I have found having this to be very helpful Perhaps it have a look into an anxiety support group or a counsellor, as they can help. If you haven't spoken to your GP about it either I would recommend to as they can really assist with anxiety.

All the best.

[Rabbit33]

Hi CoraC's

I get you! I always felt trapped because initially the company i worked for was family owned and i felt obligated and pressured to work there and then during it's struggling years, I was overwhelmed feeling too guilty to leave. I felt if i was to leave, then i was jeopardising the lives of some of my family members and other employees that could have been affected come my absence. All i can say is I wish i'd left sooner and worked out what i wanted to do with myself. The internal damage it did to my self esteem and mental health was not worth any of it. You need to look after number one (YOURSELF!)

I've now enrolled to study and gain new qualifications and skills that will enable me for employment into the field of my choice. it's a bit of a longer road than i had hoped for, but the positives are that I am now motivated and happy with the choices i have made. It may be worth finding out exactly why you were knocked back from previous jobs and positions and evaluate whether gaining skills may prevent these knock backs in the near future. Have you considered maybe talking with a professional life coach or councillor in assisting you and maybe putting together a step by step plan on how to get where you want to be? Sometimes writing things down and acknowledging what is holding us back and then writing down how to overcome them, allows us to strategically take action and move forward. it also keeps us focused.

Feeling trapped is an awful feeling and i know first hand how much of a toll is takes on you and your mental health. Even taking a few baby steps into making a change will make the world of difference. If you do decide to make a change, be sure to have a support group behind you and try and find a couple of things you enjoy that also bring you confidence as this will keep you motivated and provide reassurance in whatever decision you make. I've been reading some self-development books and they've really helped me. Maybe take a look at some of them, i particularly like 'Staying on the path' By Dr. Wayne W Dyer, as well as the 'Little Series' edited by Tiddy Rowan - 'The little book of confidence'. Another one that is great, 'Feel the FEAR and Beyond' by Susan Jeffers. They say "To read this book is eye-opening; to USE this book is life-changing'

Always remember to never undervalue yourself. And that you deserve to have the best life possible!

Best of luck! You have my support!