Fighting Anxiety

[CBR1987]

Hey all . I'm a happily married, working mum but also a long term anxiety sufferer who is trying to take hold of my life again.

I suffered severe post natal depression which I treated with St John's Wort. I recovered from that, then witnessed a fatal accident in 2013 and I've suffered anxiety since (only started St Johns Wort 2-3 months ago)

I get extremely anxious in vehicles, a very negative household member also sets off anxiety in me, when people dont contact me, trouble sleeping/concentrating, I have trouble doing things myself (putting diesel in my car), I self-harm when I'm having an anxiety attack. I'm also having trouble making friends because social situations scare the crap out of me (I can't build up the courage to join a zumba class again because I always worry people are talking about me)

However I hope this year will be different. I'm adjusting my diet, cutting down on alcohol, decluttering my house and am going to try attend a Zumba class in the next couple of weeks (the idea sounds good right now but I almost always back out last minute)

I'm in Perth, and would love to chat to someone who understands my situation!

[Maddeline]

Hi CBR1987,

Thank you for sharing and welcome to the forums. I myself suffer from severe anxiety and panic disorders so I can understand the frustration and fear of anxiety attacks. Traumatic experiences are common to starting anxiety induced attacks, and often anxiety attacks are traumatic in itself to the point that we fear having another anxiety attack (causing us to panic). I am happy to hear that you are looking to join a zumba class, as I myself joined a zumba class and it helps to relieve my anxieties. I really hope you build the courage to go, and I can assure you that the other people in the class are most likely not talking about you. Even if they are, you are at the class for you. As you are a married woman and a working mum, you definitely need time for yourself, and I think zumba would be a great outlet. As for the anxiety, basic anxiety techniques is what helped me prevent and reduce the severity of my attacks. Simple breathing exercises such as placing your hand on your chest and trying to take 5 breaths, to "worry time" which is when you journal all your anxieties on a notepad at a certain time of the day. For example, my worry time would be 4pm and I would write down all my anxieties for 30 minutes, and after 4:30 I can no longer worry about anything and anything I do worry about would have to wait till 4pm tomorrow. By doing this method, you will find that things you worried about did not actually occur, or you have forgotten about something that you were worried about yesterday. There are a lot more techniques online, and you will find certain techniques that really work for you and others that do not (trial and error).

As for the negative household member, possibly asking them kindly to not make certain comments or distancing yourself when you are particularly anxious may help you. Try to also be open with your partner, possibly telling them when you are having an attack and allowing them to help guide you through the attacks to reduce the self-harm. If the self-harm does increase, please reach out to your GP or a mental health professional.

Thank you for your post, and would love to hear from you x

[Petal22]

Hi CBR1987,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im really sorry to hear what you are going through I understand.

I suffered with severe anxiety OCD but I’ve now recovered thanks to the professional help I received.

Have you thought about seeing your gp and talking about the way you are feeling? Let them know how your anxiety is affecting your life.

You could do a mental health plan together this will allow you to see a psychologist who can give you strategies to help you to manage your anxiety.

You really can learn to manage your anxiety. You just need to be taught the skills.

Im sorry that you have a very negative house member………

Your not alone

[yggdrasil]

Hi CBR1987,

Thank you so much for posting on here. I'm very sorry to hear about the anxiety you're suffering, it can be very hard to live with.

Where I live there are in person peer support groups for anxiety. I attended these for years, and eventually facilitated them myself, and I found this an effective way to get past stigma and embarrassment, and meet people who really understood what I was experiencing.

I strongly agree with Maddeline and Petal22. I think speaking with your GP to help set up a mental health care plan is a really good idea. I also think the Zumba class is a really, really good idea, as for me exercise is an integral part of staying on top of my mental health. If the social aspect of Zumba is too confronting, you might consider first trying to establish regular exercise patterns in private, for example by working out to a Zumba video on YouTube. I have found breaking down goals into really tiny little pieces an effective way to gradually over come the anxiety surrounding them.

As to social anxiety in general, I have found settings like Zumba very good, because you're lightly socialising, but there's an activity to focus everyone's attention, so if you just want to keep to yourself and enjoy the activity that's fine too. I did board game groups for many years for this reason. Others in the support group I attended who also experienced social anxiety attended cryptic crossword groups and walking groups etc for the same reason.

Also, I once read about a strategy of deliberately doing small, embarassing things in a public, but relatively anonymous setting, in order to train yourself to realise the world doesn't end when people talk about you etc. E.g. I read about someone who got on a train and announced the name of each station as they arrived, a strange but harmless thing to do, to get comfortable with people noticing them and thinking about them, and even thinking they were a bit weird! I'm not sure if a version of this strategy could be helpful for you.

Thanks again for posting on here, and hopefully things start to get more managable soon!