Feeling Scared Again.

[Beaser]

Hi and best wishes to everyone.  I know that there are people doing it so much harder than me. But i just feel defeated at the moment.  Im just so lonely and i miss my ex partner so much and i know i have to move on .I started a new job that i was going well at but i couldnt go in on Wednesday and i feel really bad about it. Im sick of fighting this battle and im tired from it. Just how much do i have to go through . Im sorry to be on such a downer but i dont know where to turn to at the moment.    If i break it down im lonely and scared.

I wish every one a good day .   Brett.

[ecomama]

Dear Brett, you can post all day & night if you want to! It's YOUR thread so there's no limit on the posts you write (I think lol!). 

I want to challenge the concepts & use of words like "fighting" & "battle" regarding life. 
Reason being, if it's been a constant for 30y then what you've been doing up till now hasn't served you well. 

We can turn this thinking around a 180 degree turn.
Be KIND to yourself. (Self-care has been proven by research to enhance wellbeing of ANYONE). 
Doing ALL the things you know to do, to increase your wellbeing - positive thinking ie catching a yuck thought, snapping back to replace with a POSITIVE thought every single time. 

Eating healthy food. 
Doing happy exercise (I LOVE gardening and helping in others' gardens, Community and otherwise)... raising serotonin to a healthy level will help your outlook. 
Avoiding alcohol is a biggie. 

Another challenge lol, is yes we may have mental health issues that are not our fault, but they are our responsibility. 

Remaining in a "blame everyone mode" for extended periods is not healthy for anyone. 
This is looking at life as an empty cup, when there is ALWAYS so much to be grateful for. 
GRATITUDE remedies this. 

It's easy to slip into old habits of thinking, like worrying. I do it sometimes too! Then this thinking and remedy by above. 
You see there's ALWAYS something to worry about, always.
I know myself, I'll be working till I'm 100yo or beyond lol. I'm a bit older than you, still have a house full of kids! Broken back, so many physical injuries, I have enough to "medically retire"... in the other pot, I also have "enough" MH diagnoses to medically retire because of these too. 

But my AIM is to ENJOY Life! 
To do this I CHOOSE to keep working to keep my mortgage payments. 

We have choices! 
We are so fortunate Brett, 
Love EM

[Beaser]

Thanks EM.   Its always good to hear from you.       You always make a lot of sense to me..   I know i need to change the way i look at things and remember that life is good.   I know that alcohol isnt a good thing but unfortunately its been how ive connected in that my friends are mostly all drinkers. I have cut from drinking heavy strength to mid and have stopped drinking at home.   I know its not ideal but its my only social outlet to visit my local and see my friends.  I am off to my fathers old home area/smalltown for a school 150 yr celebration this week so that will be a bit different and ill see some old cousins and family  but i am a bit nervous.  I now there is also much to be grateful for and there are a lot of really good people out there.   On a positive i took an extra shift at work today it would have been easy to not but i chose to show up ..   

Im sorry to read of your physical injuries and i must say i admire the way you choose to fight that isa great trait

I will think of your wise and kind words today and i will write back tonight to let you know how things go.           Love Brett.

[Anxdrew]

You're not alone dude, it helped me initially to learn that i wasnt special in my issues, and that this stuff is very common. It doesnt make it any better i know. I find throwing myself into hobbies i enjoy helps. Especially anything where you have to focus hard. It clears your head. Dont be afraid to lean on family if theyre available. Hope you feel better.

[Beaser]

I am feeling very scared at the moment . I seen my GP yesterday but i find it hard to open up at times i think because im feeling ok when im with him but i fall flat when i walk away. I just want a way through all this . Im very lonely .    Brett

[Beaser]

Thanks Andrew and others. I appreciate your reply. I so wish i did have family to lean on i just feel so alone and scared at the moment. I seen my phycologist on Friday. I wish had of opened up more but at times i dont know  what i want to say if that makes sense.  Love to all Brett.

[ecomama]

Hey Brett, I missed this reply. 

How did the School 150y Celebration go? 

omg I laughed when I read this >>> "I admire the way you choose to fight that is a great trait" 

Hey Big Fella! 

I don't "fight" anything LOL! 

This is one very important part of everything I'd love for you to understand. 
It's being at PEACE with all things. It's not on the spectrum of fighting for anything. 
NOT "fighting". 

STRIVING is a FAR BETTER mental mindset to have! 

If you can ONE thing, just ONE! 
Replace the word "fight" with strive. 

Idk I can see you swimming around in ruminating thoughts. 

YOU CAN RISE ABOVE THESE! 

You can change your LIFE to experience AMAZING things when you change your thoughts. 

When your change your thoughts EVERYTHING CHANGES. 

I'm IMPRESSED that you took an extra shift at work! SEE >>> you put what you KNOW was good for you instead of falling into the same ole default mindset of dipping out and running away to hide. 
YOU PUT YOURSELF INTO THE ARENA and have been VERY BRAVE in doing so! 

THIS is what I admire about YOU. 
Being BRAVE with your life. 

Striving and being brave. This is your mantra now too because I'm a really good sharer, you can have those too lol. 

Love EM

[Beaser]

Thanks  EC  I always think so much of your replies. 

From now on i will strive to do better.   Its a better way to look at things and i will take it on. 

The 150 celebration was good , very much an old country celebration and very relaxing.

I am trying, whoops striving to do well at work and step up where i can.

Your right about the ruminating and i want to get better with that.  CHANGE MY THOUGHTS. 

How have you been.  ?

[ecomama]

Hey Brett, good on you! 

So glad to hear you had a nice time at the School Celebration, sweet! 

I'm doing so well! So are all my kids. 

I wanted to drop in and let you know I'm leaving the forums for a hiatus. 
We've got so much stuff in the pipeline, we're collaborating with others on some businesses and hope to launch the first one within 2 months. Then the next one. 

Plus I have some unwell, in real life, friends I really want to spend more time with. 
Every moment of life is precious! 
I'm JUMPING into it boots and all lol! 

Trips overseas too lol. 

SO all grand here! 

I wish you all the very best Brett. You're AWESOME! 

Love EMxxxx

[Beaser]

Thanks EC.   Sounds like you have a bit on and i hope everything goes well.   

Sorry to see you have to leave for awhile ill miss hearing from you but i understand am glad you are doing whats right for you.....        Your Friend Brett.

[Beaser]

Feeling scared and confused again i just dont know where im headed  . Ive been working 3days a week in a new job which is all that i can handle. People say i need to work more hours but my anxiety is crippling me. I also have a small mortgage and am stressed about that.   Im also very lonely and miss my ex  partner who i broke up with 8 months ago. Im trying to be respectful and not make contact but i miss her so much. I have no family help and im just feeling so lost at the moment. Im actually quite scared about where i am going to end up .     Brett.