Feeling like I'm just not good enough

[bibliophile]

So, I've now been unemployed for 6 months after I left my previous job due to stress and anxiety. I have had my good days and my bad days and have even gotten some temporary work in this time period, but nothing at the moment. I'm just sick of going through the wringer of emotions everyday. I had a really good job interview yesterday which I was proud of how I performed but now I just keep going over and over in my head about more things that I could have said and I can't help thinking that I won't get the job. I'm currently receiving newstart allowance and I have to apply for 20 jobs each month, no matter if I'm qualified for the jobs or not. I had an appointment on the phone with my job service provider yesterday afternoon and it just made me feel really down. At first he was like, well done on the amount of jobs you applied for and you've been to a great interview well done. Then he was like 'you're FINALLY doing something' compared to the jobs I applied for the previous two months. And I was like what? I've done what I'm supposed to do and you make it seem like it's my fault that I don't have a job. I would really like to do the job I interviewed for yesterday but I'm not sure that it'll happen. And people that I know keep asking me every week 'so have you got a job yet?' and when I say no they're just like 'well, we need to get you one' but it's not like I'm trying. I live with my parents but I feel like I can't talk to them about it cause my Mum already has enough stuff on her plate and my Dad just has the attitude to anxiety that you need to suck it up and get over it. I have an appointment to see my GP in a week and a half but I just needed to be able to talk to someone before then. I don't have a lot of friends and they all have jobs and lives so I feel like I'm nothing in comparison.

[white knight]

Hi Bib, welcome again

It is a tough period you are going through and during such times it will feel bad and negative. Newstart is the pits as far as confidence goes as well.

I'd try not to be too hard on others comments including Centrelink personnel. The reason is simple- they cant say anything right, that will make you feel good. It's similar to mental illness...what can people say to comfort you? usually nothing, just sit beside them and be their listening.

Can you google these-

topic: looking for work-some tips- beyondblue

topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

topic: confidence, how do you get it?- beyondblue

The final thing I'd suggest is joining the ADF. I joined the RAAF at a young age and it primed me for life in secure employment, friends and travel. Just a thought

tony WK

[bibliophile]

Hi White Knight,

thanks for your response. I will look up the threads you suggested. As far as joining the ADF goes, don't think that's possible as I'm so unfit and have a knee injury that prevented me from passing a pre employment medical for a library job (which isn't very physical) and I'm not exactly just out of school.

[Croix]

Dear Bibliophile~

I'd like to join Tony in welcoming you here. As he says Newstart is the pits - so true.

That situation is a common one, and feeling frustrated, inadequate and having little hope is common too. That is no reflection on you, it is the nature of the current job market. This is made worse as it realy is not in prospective employers interests to treat you as a human being and send out supportive rejection notices, just easier to ignore you. Similarly your job service provider has his own agenda and lacks people skills anyway.

You end up with a very cynical view of humanity, not all of which is really deserved.

Trying to deal with this when subject to stress and anxiety is very hard, and I'm glad you are seeing your GP, pity about the wait. Did you book a long appointment?

There are various techniques for living whilst searching for a job - Google will help there though I might just mention one. You have an allocation of applications to get through. Devote the same time each day for doing this and try to keep the rest free for completely different things. A serious hobby (is your name a giveaway?) perhaps.

This provides you with one area of your life that is 'normal' and hopefully not as pressured.

When taking to others they will be stumped as they won't have any answers for you and will probably talk nonsense, or platitudes. Can't be helped. I'm sure they would help if they could.

Parents have attitudes and beliefs, and we are stuck with them. So if your dad is short sighted and lacks the experience to understand properly step mentally aside and think when your turn comes and your offspring is facing hardship what you would do different.

It's a credit to you that you want to look after your mum, she may however already see how you are stretched. In your situation you really do need someone to talk frankly with. Soldiering on alone is not a good idea.

I hope you come back and say how you are getting on

Croix