People think I'm fine but I'm fighting a war in my own head.

[Kay_Laker]

Hi I'm 23yo female and I can't seem to cope with my anxiety as of late. It seems to be changing as I get older. It started off as panic attacks and sweaty hands, then to feeling numb & faint, to now feeling alone & angry. I used to be the happy go lucky that was friends with everyone but its like I'm to busy trying to get my head around day to day tasks and using all my energy stressing or being angry for no real reason. I'm frustrated that I turn little problems into big issues in my head for an example my sister had a pap smer and it came back as possible cancer causing cells (but not cancer)...I know shes young (22yo), healthy and it could be 100 things but I jump to the worse possible thing!!! I worry myself sick!!! I can't laugh like I used to and I feel like instead of making the people around me feel good I push them away or project negative energy and thats NOT who I am. I only feel good when I blarst music so I can't think or when I am playing sport, its werid but for those moments I feel kind of normal like its quite it my head and I'm free from myself. I go wacky after the gym because I feel good and I know its only temporay so I feel like I have to go over the top and embrace it. I want to be that bubble outgoing girl that my girlfriend fell inlove with, I want to be that approachable one at work thats fun to be around, I want to smile & laugh but truly feel it....like a good belly laugh or a good cry after bottling it up for so long. My confidence has gone to shit after dropping out of my chef apprentiship, I just wasn't passionate enough and couldn't handle the hours/lifestyle. Now I'm working in a cafe as a cook and I HATE it, and I'm so unsure of my feelings that I don't even know if its my job thats shit or myself making it shit? I don't want to be a chef but I don't know what I want to be and I don't think I will know until I figure this all out.

I hate the person I have become and I'm aware I'm acting this way but it's like my head has to do one better on me (stress wise) or I shut down to prevent myself from getting emotinal or lash out and get angry.

How do you break out of a bad mindset?

How do you not stress about pointless things or overthink stressful situations?

How do you find yourself when its as if that anxious side of yourself is playing a daily head game of hind and seek?

How do I stop this from progressing?

How can I use this to my advantage?

HELP.

[startingnew]

hi there and welcome to BB

well done on reaching out as thats not an easy thing to do at all. it sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now and with anxiety it makes things extra hard, but you arent alone i am 21 and have anxiety as well, so i am more than happy to answer your questions and to help you work through this.

firstly do you have family or friends that you could talk to about how your feeling and let them know that your having a hard time right now?

another option is also to speak to your gp, they can offer you more professional support as well as giving you a mental health assesment. from there they can refer you to speak to a pscyhologist which i think may help you to talk out your feelings, and work through your fears as well as help you to learn some new strategies as well.

also its ok to feel lost in your life, there are many many young people including myself that have no idea what they want to do. i am a full time carer however i have been doing this for a few yrs but didnt have much choice either so if i was to loose this then i wouldnt have barely anything and i would be more lost than ever. its never too late to do what you want to do, sometimes a new passion will come unexpectedly .

right now though i would suggest speaking to a mh professional and getting help with your anxiety so it doesnt rule your life forever, things will start falling into place over time and youll become yourself once again.

one step at a time otherwise it may overwhelm you ok, i dont plan on going anywhere and will help and support you as much as i cant.

if you would like to socialise more with some young people then theres the friend cafe for under 25s in the social section, and a thread that might help you with your anxiety is called COPING STRATEGIES.

feel free to take a look at those 2 threads and anywhere else you might like, but if your not up for that your more than welcome to stay on your thread until your ready

it is nice meeting you and again welcome 🙂

[graysky]

Dear Kay,

I don't know if this will provide the answers to your questions.
I can say that there are several parts to your post that I can relate to. I have experienced a progression of worsening anxiety myself, since late teenage years until now in middle 20s.
My anxiety has taken away a happy and smiling person I once was.I am always consumed by fear, and worry, I feel sick to my stomach, I come home and sometimes cry from stress.
I definitely play hide the anxiety in my daily life. Not everyday because some days I'm at home or with my friends who I know don't make me anxious. But at work I have to hide. I have to go to the toilet and hide myself because my mind just takes over. It's just relentless with anxiety and its sometimes so difficult to control it. One of my big fears which I know is totally irrational is people will find out that this is actually who I am despite how well I try and hide my anxiety. I fear the judgement and how I will be treated.

Getting professional help will definitely help a lot. And try finding some employment agencies which offer career counselling, or similar organisations could help you with the question of what you want to do, if you're interested in that type of thing.
I think it is great you gave the Chef apprenticeship a try and began it. It shows you had some drive to start something. And also keeping active and playing sport is really good. Just an idea maybe you could benefit from taking some time off from your work and spending time outdoors, like a day trip to the coast or bush walk or something similar.

[suba]

Hi Kaye,

I really feel for you, I suffer from a mild form of anxiety, nothing compared to what you are probably going through. I would also suggest you talk to your GP ASAP

What has helped me is learning to control my mind and not allow my mind to control me and live in the now, dont worry about what has happened or what might happen concerntrate and fix what is in your control, I have a saying that I repeat often YESTERDAY IS HISTORY, TOMORROW IS A MYSTERY, TODAY IS A GIFT THAT WHY ITS CALLED THE PRESENT. this takes time and practice but it has certainly given me an improved quality of life and a better person to be around.

The other thing that is important is happiness and what i think about and say to myself often is

Appreciate the here and now. Gratitude is fundamental to peace and happiness—not wealth, glamour, adventure, or fast cars, but simple appreciation for what you have. Just because you can’t afford champagne and caviar doesn’t mean that you never enjoy a meal. Hot dogs and beer on the back deck with your friends taste just as good. So, don’t fool yourself into thinking that you need something that you don’t currently have in order to be happy, because the truth is that if you can’t appreciate what you have now, you won’t be able to appreciate the “good life” if you ever get it.

The other thing that will help is talking about this with a close friend or friends, they can be a very useful resource, hope this helps in some way.

CHEERS GREG