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Fear of everyone laughing at me

SquireHarbour
Community Member

Hello, this is probably all irrelevant in the end, but here goes.

I slept through the Euro 2020 finals. Woke up to find out that Italy won against England. Cue feeling like I shouldn't even bother liking a team anymore. The anxiety and stress levels shot straight through the roof. Spent the last three hours crying in anxious fear. Psych says I have social anxiety disorder combined with my major depressive disorder, autism spectrum and mood swings.

These days, I can't shake the mere idea that everything that I support or like, people are laughing at me. Mocking me. Judging me as a person. This Euro final thing is exactly that. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, I somehow feel like every Italian supporter is laughing at me for daring to support England. Mocking me for even considering that the English team could break 55 years of pain. Like I should be ashamed of even daring to hope, or dream, or even thinking that they could win...

This fear is why I don't reveal what music I like. What movies I watch, what TV shows I like. What sport teams I barrack for. I am so scared of revealing what I have, or what I do. Or even where I go or what I even think on certain topics. I am terrified of just revealing anything personal in general.

Because, somehow, I just fear that people, somewhere, will laugh at me/judge me/mock me for revealing anything about myself, all day, everyday. Forever.

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't feel like I can even care about things or say what I like anymore. Because I just fear is that the world will laugh in my face if I ever reveal what I like or care about anymore. It's feels like inevitability.

2 Replies 2

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hi SquireHarbour, 

Social anxiety and feeling that others are judging us can be incredibly difficult and it sounds like you have been managing these feelings for some time now. Please know that we do not judge you here and you are welcome to be yourself, whoever you want that to be! Your experiences are unique to you, but feeling judged and dismissed by others is something that many people face. We hope that you can feel proud of the courage you have show to seek support on the forums today, it is a great act of bravery. You never know who will read this post and feel less alone in their own feelings because of you. Thank you!

If you want to talk to someone about how you feel, please give us a call on 1300 22 4636. The team are understanding and will accept how you are feeling while trying to offer useful advice. They are also great at helping to think about what other supports might be useful for you. 

It sounds like you have a good support network in place, but please know that we are here for you anytime you need us. 

Kind regards, 
Sophie M

romantic_thi3f
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi SquireHarbour,

Thank you for sharing what you are going through with us. Anxiety can be so incredibly draining and exhausting and I'm sorry to hear about how intense it is for you right now.

I've been thinking about what I could say that could be helpful, and I think the best idea that I have is to flip it. Who are the people that you would laugh at? What sort of shows or music would they have to like? What sort of person would they need to be?

For me personally, I can't think of anyone. I also know a lot of people, with different tastes, different thoughts, different values, different personalities. I like that people are different; it makes them unique. If everyone I met liked exactly the same thing, honestly I think the world would be so incredibly boring.

How are things going with your psychologist? What have you been working on?

rt