Extremely overwhelmed and under pressure - wanting to be left in peace

Rach28

hi everyone im currently on centrelink job seeker payment and unfortunately one of the requirements of receiving this welfare payment means i attend fortnightly job provider appointments. In the past few months ive transferred to up to 5 different ones. My most recent one was supportive on the first appointment but the proceeding two appointments he was putting alot of stress and pressure on me. Asking me personal questions that made me shut down completely and triggered my anxiety to the point I wanted to punch a wall and cry. It was really bad! What do i do!?

In August 2024 i got a job and quit on the second day. I was given "constructive" feedback which I interpreted as negative and its massively affected my self-confidence and self-esteem. Its also increased my anxiety x100. So now im fearful of attempting to look for another job. Sadly another factor is I'm struggling with massive social anxiety. I don't know how to function very well when it comes to dealing with people or communicating my needs. I generally get very anxious, and if triggered I shut down and go into "reflex" mode where I am defensive. For many reasons including PTSD, Trauma, Anxiety, Depression and personal circumstances. I dont know what to do.

I dont think I am an employable person and I feel I am a failure.

I'm constantly surrounded by negative people who never support me in the way I really need. They never once ask me - are you okay. Or how can we help you!?

I'm always being told - FIND A JOB. FIND A JOB. And I'm burnt out and exhausted.

I'm tired of looking for jobs, this recent bad employment has impacted me in ways I cannot discuss.

I dont know what to do.

Eagle Ray

Hi Rach28,

I really feel for you. I was in a similar situation not long ago. I was on jobseeker too and had the fortnightly meetings. My employment agency was a disability employment service provider so I didn’t have the same obligations that exist with a non-disability one. I’m now on the disability support pension.

I’m just wondering first of all if you are with a regular provider or a disability provider? There can be more flexibility if you are with a disability provider. If you have mental or physical health conditions you can be eligible to be with a disability job agency where they are not as strict with what you have to do each fortnight. You can also look at doing some other things like training or volunteer work, so it doesn’t always have to be applying for a job.

However, if your social anxiety, PTSD etc are really debilitating and have been for some time, you could possibly look to applying for the disability support pension. Are you currently working with a psychologist or psychiatrist? You would need them to support you in your application and complete a report based on the impairment tables they use to assess the level of disability.

The DSP is not easy to get and I think I got it on the basis of both physical and mental health conditions I have. But if you are really not doing ok it may be worth considering. I hesitated for some time and then did find the application process itself on the stressful side, but I got through in the end. If you don’t get through on the first go, you can either appeal the decision or do another application after a certain time.

I agree that sometimes we just need someone to ask us if we are ok. When you are not ok, the processes with Centrelink are very difficult to endure. Do you have anyone you can confide in in your life? It can be so hard if you are battling away on your own. Remember there are various helplines too, Lifeline, Beyond Blue and others. I’ve called helplines quite a bit in the last 3 years. Before that I’d never called one in my life. But I’ve learned it can really be grounding just to talk things through with someone when it all feels too much.

Take good care and feel free to keep chatting if you want to,

Eagle Ray

ABC01

Dear Rach28,

I can empathise with you on Centrelink and Job Providers. Unfortunately in life nothing is for free and it is a requirement to get a payment. However the job centres can feel like a production line. There job is literally to get you a job. So they do push and push. When we aren’t heard and feel disregarded, it can start to build pressure and you sound as if you have had enough and are overwhelmed.

That is okay. Your feelings through your post are valid.

I also agree with Eagle Ray. If you have diagnosed illness/illnesses,perhaps you should try to apply for the Disability Support Pension or an exemption from Centrelink.

You are not a failure. Employment can be tricky for everyone. You need the right fit for yourself and your circumstances. In the future they may change,but let’s just focus on today’s.

Perhaps you can book into seeing your GP and discuss how you are currently going and feeling. They maybe able to help with getting an exemption to begin with and lighten your load. Or your psychologist if you have one.

As you said in your post,no-one asks how are you. So Rach28, how are you? Answer only if you want too.

ABC01

Eagle Ray

Hi Rach28,

I just thought I’d say I think ABC01’s idea of getting an exemption is a really good idea. It means you are exempt from fortnightly obligations while on it. I did that I think it was 3 times. Your GP can fill out a Centrelink medical form for up to 3 months at a time I think it is. If you are really not doing well right now it would give you breathing space, a chance to rest and also to think about how to go forwards. They don’t always grant the exemptions but it would really be worth a try. Don’t hesitate to say you are really struggling right now to your GP. I’ve always downplayed how much I’ve been struggling in the past. Then it caught up with me and I had to eventually say I’m really not ok. It’s ok to be not ok.

Take care,

ER

Bella78

Good evening,

I am so sorry to hear.

Maybe see your GP for a sick leave certificate and have some time out from looking for work. Get a ref to see a psychologist/ psychiatrist to offload and heal.

Your mental health is important and requires attention.

YOU are not a failure. Don’t say that about you, you are important, it's sadly ungodly the opinion of an employer. I worked for a large corporate company and simply I gave it to the senior manager face-to-face. Please don’t give up and don’t believe every word.

Remember you DO matter.

You do what makes you happy and want. If your body and mind are tired, take care of it first.

If you want to be left in peace, VOICE it out. I did it myself as I wanted to take care of myself.

Have a blessed evening.

Rach28

Hi ER! I decided after alot of thinking plus a recent ED visit (Emergency Department - Hospital). Applying for the DSP is just making my mental health struggles 100x worse. So sadly the only option for me is to find a job. Im daily working of changing my thought process and self-image. Negative to positive. Its not an easy task and I have to daily remind myself what will happen if I do nothing. So that's a huge motivator - i dont want to lose my home, my belongings etc.

I appreciate your support and message.

Rach28

sorry im having issues with this computer im typing on. Thank you for your message. I was attempting to write that I've connected with my GP, and connecting with two different psychologists. I cannot get another Centrelink Medical Certificiate - ive had too many in the past and they wont accept and further ones. And yes 100% its okay to not be okay. But we need to keep trying. That's what I am doing.

Rach28

Thank you for your words and message. It means alot your support!

Rach28

And 100% the employers feedback was unprofessional. They need to really evaluate how they treat their employees and provide effective training so people know how to do their jobs. Not just throw us in the deep end - that's not logical and leads to failure. Failure is hard but I am learning its best to keep trying and stand back up. There's other options out there - I just need to find them!

Eagle Ray

Dear Rach28,

I do understand. I found the DSP application process pretty stressful. I think it is finding the path that causes you the least amount of stress. Remember to take some time everyday to do something really nice for you. Maybe set aside time for job applications and then time to completely forget about that and have a total break from it. I've read Croix's suggestions to others here which I think is a good one, to focus on job applications in the morning and then give yourself a total break in the afternoon.

Also, perhaps some volunteer-type training/experience in an area you feel you would like to work may be helpful. Perhaps hone in on what you enjoy the most and feel the most comfortable doing.

I agree about the lack of training when starting a job. I have certainly experienced that in certain settings.

Please take care of yourself and go gently.

Hugs,

ER