Extreme nausea from my crush! Help!

[Eoeon]

Hi, I’m 16 years old and in the 12th grade. Earlier this year I became friends with a boy from my local boys school (I go to an all girls school). I quickly developed a crush on him which has grown quite a bit throughout the year, I think he likes me back, but I don’t want to risk that as he’s quite busy with his studies.

today we went out on what I would LIKE to call a date and I was alright for a while, but when we went to eat I started to gag and choke on my food, I physically could not swallow anymore. I had to go to the bathroom just to relax myself. I felt sick for a while but it got better as we walked it off, but as we sat down and talked while waiting for my bus home, I felt sick again, he held my hands to try and make me feel better, which just made it worse. I played it off as being my seafood intolerance as we had ate sushi, but I know that prawns do not trigger it and this was much stronger. It felt like my stomach was cramping and every time he looked away I gagged, he looked very concerned. I’m lucky he’s a very caring guy.

can anyone explain why my crush endured nausea is so strong? And any ways you think I could cope with it till at least year 12 graduation next year, which is when I would completely open up to him.

[Croix]

Dear Eoeon ~

Welcome here to the support forum, its a friendly and understanding place.

I went to an all-boys school and there was the equivalent all girls-school just down the road. We never mixed so girls were mysterious creatures the subject of rumor and much unjustified boasting by some of the other boys.

Well the first time I asked a girl out I had built it up in my mind until I was so nervous I could not talk intelligently and was a general klutz.

You sound to me as if you are having something similar but worse. Like me you have built things up in your mind and you are not used to being with boys in a social situation. Anxiety has simply taken over -in a most inconvenient way.

Being quite as nervous as that is probably a bit more than usual and I would strongly suggest you go see your doctor and explain. There may be other things in you life where you worry a lot, and you should say it all.

Trying to get to the cause of the matter is the best way of coping, You could explain the general facts to your parents if you though they would be concerned and want to help. Do you think you could ask your parents to run you down to the doctors (and wait outside)?

Another thing you might think of as well as that is simply telling the boy what happened. You might be surprised how much he might relate, he could have been nervous too after all. He sounds nice.

I don't think you have to wait until next year to get this sorted, or at least something you can deal with, what do you think?

Croix

[Eoeon]

Hi!

its Quite interesting that we had a similar high school experience. In senior years, depending on your classes, some students mix for a class or two, I was at the boys school for a while doing design and technology, so the boys aren’t much of a mystery to me anymore, but some girls likely still see them that way.

I haven’t been to the doctor for this specific issue, but in the past have been diagnosed with social anxiety (which I pretty much recovered from a few years back) and hypochondria (current), both of which usually cause me symptoms of vertigo. It’s new for me to have nauseous symptoms so that’s a little strange.

honestly, I’m not sure if speaking to my parents about this is a good idea. Although they are quite caring, they are the kind to mock me for having any romantic feelings. Even when I admitted that the boy in question was attractive in a group photo, they constantly brought it up even with distant family for a few days, laughing and teasing me. I don’t think I could cope with that.

i think in a way the boy understood, I told him that I was feeling a bit nervous, and he’s usually a very understanding guy who gets nervous himself quite a bit. Both of us are school prefects and his nerves are quite visible during formal occasions related to that. He doesn’t seem to be backing away after the incident, so it seems that he isn’t thinking too far into it.

i hope I can get this sorted quickly, but I’m not entirely sure how to get the issue with my mocking parents out of the way first. I am yet to tell them about my feelings for this guy.

thanks xx

[Croix]

Dear Eoeon~

Thanks for coming back and saying more.

The fact you have a social anxiety condition in the past and things then settle down does not necessarily mean that it had departed entirely. Also the old and very uncomplimentary term hypochondria has been replaced by the much more accurate and less judgmental term health anxiety.

I have had multiple physical reactions to my anxiety condition from stomach pains to headaches and lots of others including nausea.. They became pronounced when I am very anxious and receded other times. With treatment the underlying anxiety, and thus the symptoms, has been brought mostly under control.

I guess what I am saying is that you may find professional support is the way to go. As it may require your parents to authorize medical support perhaps you may be able to think of a way of persuading them, and not being laughed at over your romantic desires.

Actually I think it was pretty cruel to mock like that . Relationships are a very sensitive subject.

If you were to say your aniety condition was getting worse and resulting in nausea would they take any notice? Perhaps if you said you had nausea and requested a physical examination (which could then go on to be an assessment of your anxiety while you were there ) might be another way. I suggest you leave the boy out of it.

Another avenue to gain a realistic idea of what you can do is to contact the Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800) who also have web-chat if you prefer. They are very used to this sort of situation and could be both a comfort and a help. You can talk to them more than once without having to re-explain your situation.

It is lucky, you seem to have found someone in the young man who is able to understand due to his own experiences, that is a real bonus.

Please come back and tell me if any of this is practical?

Croix