Exhausted

[JanieN]

I hope I am posting this in the right place.

I am just exhausted. I along with my husband are sufferers of anxiety ( social for him, social and health for me) and my husband has also been dealing with depression as well since his teen years. Both of us have severe anxiety, we are also both unemployed, I sustained a back injury almost 10 years ago so I deal with physical pain as well everyday. Most of my anxiety lately though has been for my husband, in January his JSA informed him he is two days into his WFTD phase and signs him up then and there for a program that was 30 or so hours a week, we don't drive and the place was a fair way away. Can they do that? She gave him no information about training and he had to sign what she gave him because he had no idea if he had the right not to. We both had a bit of a breakdown but he was able to get a medical certificate to cover him for a while. Now he has just finalized his enrollment at TAFE. Which I feel we can breathe for a minute. I'm lost as to what we should do now, in January this is going to start all over again for him, I have been forced out of my comfort zone so many times already and it has done me no good. I never want to see him the way he was that day after that appointment, it honestly nearly killed me. I have seen so many wonderfully helpful people on this forum, I would honestly appreciate any help at all that anyone could give.

Thank you.

[startingnew]

hi Janie, im glad my post was helpful 🙂

its hard being ok all the time, but please know its ok to not be ok and to ask for some help like youve done here as well as some helplines too if you are comfotable in talking to them..

you are more than welcome to ask questions and ill try my best to answer them. sometimes we have to break the cycle, either physically in the form of pain management or mentally in the form of trying to cope with our symptoms and stuggles that day. for my pain management i was on anti-inflammatories and pain releif however i cant take anit-infalmmatories. if the pain gets too bad otc painrelief and antiflammes work well however its best to consult your gp. other things that help me are gentle daily stretches to keep the muscles stronger and not so tight, rest, and heat packs work well. i found that wheni replaced my matress, and pillows to a better suit it was a bi help too and some sleeping positions as well. if you take a look online theres ways to do some stretches, and sleeping positions. magnesium is also really good for muscles too if you would like a natural remedy.

i find when my anxiety is really high or my depression is really low thats when it gets worse so i try to kepe my anxiety in check and catch the symptoms early like a racing heart, finding it abit hard to breathe etc. grounding exercises, breathing and distractions help me- theres quite a few on the coping strategies thread i suggested to you. im sure youll find something there thats helpful.

well done on writing away to JSA, i really hope they can commodate you hubbys needs and are understanding of your circumstances. i am a carer for my pop so i do alot of advocating for him too, can be quite tricky sometimes too.

how have you been today?

[JanieN]

Thank you for replying again starting new,

As I'm writing this I'm having one of my worst moments of today, feeling sick, my heart is racing and I really just want to cry. I do this to myself, things are ok atm (I think) my husband is safe and will be happy studying and having people off his back to breathe a bit. I sabotage myself, instead of feeling relief my mind just moves onto our next obstacle. That being, we live in Hobart, my family in wa, every second year we travel to wa ( at my amazing families expense because we can't afford it) to spend Christmas. We have to approach our JSAs and ask approval to go, this has never been a problem in the past but I'm being paranoid and just expecting the worst. I miss my family, so much, after this year so far I just want my mum to cuddle me. Sad I know, I'm a grown woman. I'm scared they'll say no. Why do I do this to myself? 😞

We are opposites, I don't take painkillers ( my pain tells me when my back will seize up) I just take anti inflammatory 🙂

thank you for sharing your pain relief methods, we share a lot of the same ones. I'm going to look into magnesium as well, thank you.

Breathing is one I'm doing atm, I can't focus on reading and I need to be really careful what I watch so I'm just focusing on my breathing trying to calm down.

How are you? How was your weekend?

[JanieN]

Hi Chloe

That's no problem, take all the time you need. I appreciate any help I get.

Feeling awful, but I am really glad you had a good weekend 🙂

[Chloe_M]

Hi Janie,

why are you feeling awful? Want to talk about it?

hope you feel better today xx

chloe

[startingnew]

hi Janie, i do apologise for my slower responses atm. ive only got one hand- the other is broken so takes me a little bit longer to type up posts.

i really hope todays been better for you and the breathing helped you....

please know your mental health isnt you. atm is controlling you by making you think the way you are. over time youll have some more control over your thoughts. have you heard of thought challanging at all? im happy to share it here for you and you can try it?

no it doesnt sound silly you want a hug from your mum or anyone. love and affection is a natural and basic human need. nothing silly about it. having family so far away too would be really hard, do you still talk to them on the phone. its ok to call them and just talk too- reconnect with them

i dont take painrelief unless absolutly neccessary. i generally take them as i cant take anti inflammatories anymore-stomach issues so just do what i can. pain however as stupid as it sounds is a trigger for my anxiety and depresion through my past (witness dv, sa myself, animal attack, bad horse falls, car accidents and emotional abuse) so pain to me signals somethings wrong and i need to go into protect mode. bugs my sisters and mum alot when i become abit over the top. but the dont know much about my mh conditions at all.

the magnesium can take a little bit to get into the system and sometimes not noticeable until you do something and you find it doesnt hurt as much or you recover quickly.

at the chemist you can buy megnesium oil- made me itch so badly but they also have like a moisturiser with magneisum too and you rub it into your back and helps the muscles that way too.

hows today treating you?

[Chloe_M]

Hey starts, how's your hand? How did you break it? Hope it doesn't cause you too much stress. Also hope it isn't your writing hand 😬

Chloe x

[JanieN]

Hi startingnew

Please don't apologize, I completely understand. I'm sorry to hear about your hand, I hope it heals fast :(.
I myself have been limiting my internet time to see if it will do any good, it hasn't really but I'm still trying. I can't pull myself out of my head.

It doesn't sound stupid at all that your pain causes anxiety because I'm the same. It's all one horrible cycle.
I'll definitely try the magnesium next week when I get paid again :).

I actually got dressed and left the house for about 20mins to walk and get milk, felt light headed the entire time, just tried eating some toast and my stomach wouldn't let me finish it. Still, feeling slightly better than yesterday.

How are you doing?

[JanieN]

Hi Chloe

I just can't seem to pull myself out of my head and stop these negative thoughts about things that probably won't even happen. It's frustrating.

I hope you're doing ok?

[Ggrand]

Hello Janie,

I'm sorry your struggling with negative thoughts.

I very often have the same struggles, when they start coming which is nearly always, I try to distract my negativity by doing something to distract myself, I will try anything from playing internet games, the ones which need a lot of concentration, ie: solitaire, Alphabetty, mahjong , or I will read a book, do some colouring, just something to stop those negative thoughts for as long as I can..

Bed time is the worse, that's when I lay down they are really full on. I will do some meditation and listen to some calming instrumental with my ear plugs in and select one instrument and follow that instrument only right through the song..

Also when anxiety hits hard deep breathing count in for 5..hold it then out for 5.. Ithey do help and I was wondering if you have given any type of distraction a try..it might help you. .

I hope I have been of even a little help for you Janie,

Please always be kind and gentle to yourself, and remember how important you are to others.

Kind thoughts,

Grandy.

[Chloe_M]

Hi Janie, I'm okay, not really feeling anything at the moment...

hope you feel better x